There are certain psychological obstacles that limit the possibility of one's own development and hinder the building of effective relationships with people. Psychologists call such attitudes of consciousness "blocking". Let's look at some of them:
1. To be good for everyone, this attitude is unreasonable, because no one can satisfy all people at the same time. What one likes is annoying to others. There is no better way to lose your independence and self-confidence than by constantly wanting to earn the approval of others, to be good for everyone. It is better to remain true to yourself, striving for creativity, productive activity, disclosure of their abilities.
2. To be the first in any business, flawless in all respects (syndrome "excellent worker"). It is impossible to be perfect and impeccable in everything at once. If it becomes a human goal, he is doomed to constant torment over his failures: present, past, and future. The quest for perfection is necessary to the extent possible, without overstating the requirements for themselves. It is important to do the job well, to learn the lessons that life gives us, and everything else - will be attached.
3. Experiences about: "Everything is easy for others, but for me...". The variant of this belief - "I always have everything wrong! There is no need to perceive failure as a personal tragedy. The only thing you need to do is to think about how to change the situation and whether it is worth changing it at all? Instead of, having given up, to suffer and worry about the successes of others, it is better to turn your efforts on the systematic achievement of their own results.
4. Experiences due to external events and circumstances that cannot be influenced. In most cases, people are not upset about the circumstances, but about how they interpret them for themselves. There is no point in worrying about an event that has already occurred. Experiences will not only not correct the case, but will also block the way out of the situation. Change your attitude to the event and everything may not be as terrible as it seems.
5.Expectations of possible trouble-causing anxiety. Concerns about possible trouble are not the best way to deal with it. First, there is no point in worrying and nervous about an event that hasn't happened yet - it won't get rid of the consequences. Such thoughts, on the contrary, can attract trouble, make it quite real.
Secondly, it often happens that when the expected trouble occurs, the person is no longer able to cope with it: all his internal forces have gone on the experience in her waiting. To try to reduce the potential danger of the situation, provide possible ways out of it, calculate the options. "Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
6. Avoiding difficulties and responsibilities in a targeted manner. Avoiding responsibility has become a professional illness for many. There are hundreds of tricks to shift responsibility to others. Self-remediation from difficulties and responsibility leads to the fact that the unresolved problem can become unsolvable later on. It is best not to hide, but to take on the job with the utmost vigor. Solving a problem strengthens self-confidence and self-esteem.
7. In life, there is always a need for someone who is stronger, more powerful, and more trustworthy. This mindset is called the "hairy paw principle". Its variants are quite diverse, from "I should be grateful for the good done to me by someone who is stronger and more powerful than me," to "people should be grateful to me for what I have done for them and answer me the same. The main disadvantage of "patronage" is an addiction.
8. Setting yourself up to change other people. Other people's lives and behaviors are their own business. We cannot influence them and change them in any significant way. And if that happens, it takes a huge amount of time and effort. All attempts to influence the behavior or lifestyle of another person cause resistance and only worsen the situation. It is important to understand that people have disadvantages that they have to put up with.
Work on overcoming stereotypes of consciousness is not a matter of one day. But getting rid of false ideas will make life happier and brighter. Try it!