1 "Parents"
"Parents will not be raised and will be severely punished."
Recently, the 12 departments jointly issued the "Opinions on Further Strengthening the Work of Unsupported Children's Safeguards", and will jointly give disciplinary punishment to those parents who can perform their duties without parenting and guardianship. Once the opinion was released, it caused a heated discussion.
Most parents who “live and not raise” their children often do not know how to raise children or the importance of raising children. Take a look at the four parenting models that Plopa has proposed. Perhaps we will be more aware of the importance of parenting to a child:
- Acceptance model: Parents can affirm their children, express respect to their children and be sensitive to their needs and emotional state; acceptance attitudes are related to safety, trust, and a good family atmosphere, which enables children to establish sincere and friendly relationships with their parents. The child can also develop the ability to understand others.
- Refusal-negative mode: Parents are indifferent to their child's needs and are reluctant to establish close relationships with their children. They even deliberately alienate children when they seek closeness. Such parents are more inclined to meet the child's material requirements than to take care of the child's emotional state. In addition, parents believe that they are absolute authority. Only when the child is in line with the expectations of the parents will the child's behavior be affirmed and the child's personality will not be respected.
- Unstable patterns: Parents have no specific pattern of attitudes toward their children. They may suddenly anger their children and punish their children. They may suddenly have a crush on their children. This instability manifested by parents can lead to a child's loss of security and begin to distance from their parents, and they are reluctant to share their true thoughts with their parents.
- Overprotective mode: Parents are too concerned about their children, hoping that they can make decisions for their children. When children express their autonomy and independence, such parents will feel anxious. They always worry that their children can't take care of themselves.
2 "Acknowledgment"
"Sorry, are you?" Why are people hard to admit that they are wrong?
In life, everyone has said or heard a reluctant apology, such as the inner heart is clearly uncomfortable, but still, do not care to say "I'm sorry." The work of Kate Kaplan, Ph.D. in clinical psychology, is to explore why it is difficult for some people to truly admit that they are wrong.
The so-called reluctance to apologize is very common. For example, if one half of the communication, one party suddenly excitedly said, "I said sorry, what do you want?", "There is still no end", trying to end the dialogue. It seems to be apologizing and actually denying his mistake. It will not only destroy the intimacy of each other but also frustrate the companions; it will also stifle our personal growth.
Kate Kaplan believes that refusing to admit mistakes is a self-protection that maintains good self-belief through denial and rejection. After all, acknowledging that you make mistakes can make individuals feel embarrassed, guilty and self-doubt. However, this kind of "protective behavior" does not have a good protective effect, because the high self-esteem established through constant denial of error is fragile and vulnerable.
After all, we are not willing to admit that we will make mistakes. It is fear that once we make a mistake, we will no longer be cute. We are not willing to admit that we are also an ordinary person who will make mistakes. But the real power is far greater than the power of perfection. Perhaps we are because of the truth, because of the advantages and disadvantages, will make mistakes, only to be deeply liked by others.
3 "Love"
Do people really like a particular type of person?
When talking about falling in love, everyone must have been asked: "What type of boys/girls do you like?"
When you start a new relationship, will you deliberately look for someone who is similar to your predecessor or is it completely different? Is there really a so-called "correct type" on the road of love?
Recently, a study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science answered this question.
Researchers Yoobin Park and Geoff MacDonald want to know if individuals with multiple love experiences have certain characteristics in their personality. A total of 332 participants participated in the study, using the German Adult Large Research Database, and the researchers obtained test data from the participants and their five-person personality.
The results show that in the general direction, we tend to like people who are different from ourselves. Yoobin Park explains that people who like themselves are different because of the “complementary function”, that is, everyone has their own problems and limitations. People who are the opposite of themselves are just able to fill their own limitations.
The study also found that most of the participants who had been in contact with each other did have high similarities with each other.
In this way, in the process of mate selection, a certain type of person will indeed attract us more. So what kind of people are you always attracted to?