But here, we can easily confuse problems with each other, especially when these requirements are essentially psychological. For example, a person can deceive himself and think that he sincerely loves another person. He only needs this person to blindly worship. In this case, the other party may suddenly be abandoned, or even become hatred, until the person who loves him begins to be cautious and loses his worship - it is because of this worship that he is loved. But when we talk about what love is, we must be careful not to be sloppy or dirty. Although love cannot tolerate the use of the other party to achieve some kind of satisfaction, it does not mean that love must be completely altruistic and faithful.
On the other hand, you don't seem to need anything, also known as love.
Those who show this kind of thinking just show that they don't want to give love to others, which doesn't mean they have well-designed beliefs.
Of course, we want to get something from the people we love - we want to be satisfied, loyal and help, maybe we even want to sacrifice and give when we need it.
Often, the ability to express these desires and even fight for them is a sign of psychological integrity.
The difference between love and pain is that in true love, the feeling of love is the most important; in painful love, the most important feeling is the need for safety and love. Illusion is just a secondary feeling. Of course, there are different transitions between them. If a person needs the love of others to gain a sense of security from anxiety, then in his conscious consciousness, the problem is usually completely mixed. Because in general, he does not know that his heart is full of anxiety, and he does not know that he is desperately trying to seize any love to gain a sense of security. What he can feel is: I like this man, I believe this man, I am completely fascinated by him. However, he feels that he is sincere love, but this may only be a gratitude for the kindness or hope and warmth that someone produces under certain circumstances. A person who unknowingly inspires this hope directly or indirectly is given a certain meaning, and his feelings about this person seem to be an illusion of love. These hopes can be caused by a simple fact. For example, a very influential and influential person is kind to him, and at first glance, a very strong person is very friendly to him. The growth of desire or sexual desire can also stimulate these hopes, although the growth of desire or sexual desire has nothing to do with love.
Finally, if these hopes provide implicit support and spiritual support, such as relationships with family, friends, and doctors, then these hopes can also be supported and encouraged by some existing relationships.
Many of these relationships are maintained under the guise of love, that is to say, under the subjective concept, they are inseparable from each other. In fact, this kind of love is just a person who sticks to each other to meet his own needs. This is not really reliable love.
If your wishes are not met, this feeling can be changed at any time. In this case, the reliability and persistence of emotions - we believe that the basic factor of love - does not exist.
These are the basic characteristics that cannot be loved, but I would like to further emphasize that they do not consider each other's personality, limitations, needs, ambitions, and development. Part of the reason for not considering the other side is due to anxiety, which causes the patients with nephropathy to stay close to each other. A person who falls into the water waiting for a swimmer usually catches a swimmer and usually does not consider whether the other party is going to save him on the shore. This does not take into account the attitude of the other party, but the embodiment of the basic hostility towards others. The most common meaning of this basic hostility is contempt and embarrassment.
Desperately considering each other and even sacrificing yourself for another one may mask this, but these efforts usually do not prevent unwanted reactions.
To be continued https://zen.yandex.ru/profile/editor/id/5d6103cdc31e4900ad8a43b8/5d9453331d656a00ae9fdf45/edit
