We already know that anxiety can be the driving force for certain sports, and we have roughly studied some of the most important emerging factors.
We will now discuss two of these discs in more detail. In fact, these two driving forces play the biggest role in neurosis: the desire for love and the desire for power and control.
In neurotic patients, the desire for love is so common that trained observers find it so easy that they can be seen as the most reliable sign of anxiety and its overall strength. In fact, if the world we face is always threatening us and hostile to us, and basically feels that we are powerless, then the desire for love is obviously looking for any form of love, help or appreciation. The most direct and logical way.
If you often imagine the mental state of a neurotic person in your mind, then accepting love is easy. If you want me to talk about the feelings and impressions of neurotic patients, then the following may happen:
I need very little, but I hope other people are friendly to me. I have to give myself good advice. I must sympathize and understand that I am a poor, harmless, lonely soul. I just look forward to giving it to others. Happiness, don't want to offend anyone.
This is all the feelings in his heart.
He does not understand his sensitivity, potential hostile attitudes, harsh demands seriously interfere with his relationship with others, and cannot correctly judge his impression of others and others. The response to it. Therefore, he will naturally be confused: why his friendship, marriage, love, work, and career are often not satisfactory. He often associates this with the mistakes of others because they are not focused, unfaithful, immoral, or unpopular because of incomprehensible reasons. Therefore, he constantly pursues the fantasy of love.
Anxiety is caused by repressive hostility, which in turn leads to hostility - in other words, because anxiety and hostility are inseparable, it is easy to find neurotic patients.
This is the way of self-deception and the reasons for its failure. Neurotic people experience the dilemma of being unable to love but needing others to love.
Here, we must stop and answer a seemingly simple but practical but difficult question: What is love? Or what does love mean in our culture? We often hear people give love a simple definition, that is, love is the ability to give and acquire emotions. Although this definition contains certain facts, it is too general to help us clarify the difficulties we have encountered.
Most of us may be full of love at some point, but that doesn't necessarily mean we can love.
Therefore, the first thing to consider is the relationship of love: Is this the main statement of others? Or is it because of fear of losing fear of another person, or because of the desire to hold another person in the hand? In other words, we cannot accept any relationship as a standard of love.
Although it is difficult to say clearly what love is, we can clearly say that love is not what, or exactly, what factors contradict love. A person may love another person very much, but sometimes he sometimes gets angry with him, disagrees with some of his requirements, or wants to avoid him without worrying about him. However, this attitude of anger or rejection of external causes is completely different from that of neurotic patients.
The latter is always vigilant or alert to others, treating any interest in third parties as neglect and ignorance of themselves, treating any request for them as coercion, and treating any criticism of them as an insult. This is certainly not loving. Similarly, love can be a constructive criticism of someone's personality or interpersonal relationships, and therefore, if possible, beneficial to others. However, expecting others to be perfect and not tolerating others is not love.
Similarly, if we find that one person only adopts another person's means to achieve a certain goal, that is because he can meet some of his own needs, or mainly because he can meet some of his own needs, we also believe that this is completely Our love concept does not match.
This is especially true in the fact that only the other party is required to obtain sexual satisfaction, or only the other party is required to obtain the honor and glory of the other party (e.g., in marriage).
To be continued https://zen.yandex.ru/profile/editor/id/5d6103cdc31e4900ad8a43b8/5d9451d343fdc000ae924858/edit
