How easy and quick is it to instill good manners in a child? In this article you will get a way that does not require constant comments and reminders, does not shake your nerves, does not lead to endless scandals.
After reading you will easily bring up the best: respect, politeness, attention to others, love for cleaning and lessons. The new behavior will quickly become a habit and become absolutely natural for the baby.
Some parents will be jealous of what a good child you got. Others will be surprised: how did you achieve these results? In any case, you can be proud of yourself and the results of your upbringing!
A mirror that repeats itself, but in its own way
Children grow up and watch their parents' behavior, learn and reproduce it. This process is unconscious and completely automatic. It cannot be turned off, it is as natural as a heartbeat.
When children grow up, they suddenly find themselves doing much the same thing as their parents. As a child, they swore to themselves that they would never do so, but it happens against their will.
Whether you like it or not, our brains have been watching parental emotions, facial expressions, intonations, words and actions from the very first days. How do parents make decisions? How do they behave in this or that situation? All this is recorded in a "video" and stored in the subconscious.
It is impossible to resist this process. It is embedded in our unconscious mechanisms and is directly related to the work of mirror neurons. This topic was discussed in detail in the article "Obedient Child: Mission Possible". You can return to it if you need to. And now we move on...
Fifteen-year-old boomerang
It's not uncommon for parents to resent a teenager's behavior. Where did this rudeness and rudeness come from? Where did the accusations against the parents come from? Why does the child try to do everything outrageously? The source of this behavior is the observation and copying of the actions of mom and dad.
Teenage period boomerang returns everything that parents laid down by their own example: rudeness, boorishness, disrespect, and selfishness. Or vice versa: politeness, respect, and attentiveness to others.
In words, parents demand respect, but what do they really teach by example? If they shouted at a child, they taught them to shout. If they were beaten, they taught how to fight. If they called me bad names, they taught me to be rude.
When a teenager shouts at his parents, he makes it their tone, their gestures, their intonations or very similar. When he does "evil", his actions reflect his parents' indifference to his childish desires.
If the hammering is, it is the fruit of the lines: "None of your business," "go for a walk," "you're still a jerk," "you're a shitty little man," and, of course, the crowned "shut your mouth! Does anybody think these phrases aren't rude to a child?
You will reap what you sow. Nobody has managed to avoid it yet...
You can forbid a child to treat adults the way they treat him. But since they do not show any other examples, the child will have to follow what they have.
No good example - no good result
Imagine we're on a yacht now. The sea, the sun, freedom...
Suddenly, I ask you to pull the jib by the front panel while keeping the laths horizontal. If you are unfamiliar with the sailing device, my request will be just a meaningless set of words for you.
You're confused about asking me, 'What did you just say?' I repeat my request as clearly and distinctly as possible, but with the same words. Have you become clearer? Of course not. I repeat once again. There is no effect. Then I suddenly turn into a lunatic, start screaming and insist that you do it immediately!
This is a stupid situation. On the other hand, it is a good illustration of a child's situation when he or she is required to have some kind of "respect", which does not cause any associations or images in his or her head. How does a child know what respect is when parents have not shown it by personal example?
A dance teacher can describe the movement with words endlessly. But if he shows it slowly, you get a lot more understanding. Therefore, it is ridiculous to demand respect if you do not show it to your child yourself.
Are there any bad results? So, there is a bad example! It's as simple as two times.
