A friend shared with me some of his recent problems. The friend said to me that he felt that his relationship with his child was getting worse and worse as if the child didn"t like him very much. Because he really didn"t know what the reason was, and he felt that his child always wanted to resist when he said something to him.
He told me that she used to think that her child was very obedient. No matter what he says, the child will listen and will do the same. But just one morning a few days ago, he ate a child with a heart-shaped egg she liked as usual. But what I never thought was that the child did not eat at all. The friend thought at the time that maybe the child had no appetite, so he changed the food for the child, but the child still didn"t want to eat.
At that time, my friend was still worried about whether the child was ill or not. He hurriedly took the child to a nearby clinic for a simple check. The doctor said that the child had no problem. The same is true of the children in the next few days. He always has the opposite attitude towards what he said.
Because his child is a girl, he used to like to dress himself beautifully, so friends bought a lot of beautiful skirts for their daughters, and they became like children every day. However, he found that the child did not like to wear a skirt, but liked the shorts that had hardly passed before. Indeed, my beloved babies, listening to their own words from an early age, will inevitably be worried when parents face such a big contrast with their children for the first time.
Today"s parents regard their children as their own heart and hope that their children have the best relationship with themselves. When you feel that your child is alienated from yourself, you will inevitably be afraid. Here I want to tell you that in fact, children have a sense of autonomy at this stage. An obvious change in the children at this stage is that they will be inexplicably opposed to their parents. That is to say, if you let him go east, he will go west. You let him play the dog. He drives the chicken.
This is the stage that everyone will appear, and parents may not be impressed because they are too young at this stage. Therefore, the first time parents will feel very nervous when they have the characteristics of this stage. Here I want to tell you that there is no need to be overly nervous during this period. As long as parents can take good guidance, they can help the children to pass this stage smoothly, and it may help the children to grow up. Or the first appearance of autonomy, parents can not kill it. This period is an important period for children to form their own personalities and has a great relationship with the development of his later personality. Parents have to do this during this period, and first of all, they can"t have a fierce confrontation with their children. Parents can take the approach of adapting to the child"s psychology. At the same time, parental guidance is very important at this stage. I am specifically explaining the sense of autonomy for everyone.
In the stage of autonomy, why do children confront their parents?
At this stage, the child"s age has increased, and his heart has developed. So at this stage, the children have sprouted their own consciousness. They also have their own understanding and opinions on various things, and at this stage, they have a very stubborn attitude towards their own understanding and perception. It is precise because of this that we will find that children in life often exceed the control of their parents when they are obsessed with one thing. If the parents" practices violate their wishes, their resistance is also very intense. It is also because of this that they will be opposed to their parents. But we should also understand that although the child has already produced his own consciousness at this stage. However, because their children are too young, their life experience and ability to develop their minds are far from enough. It is very naive of us.
They often have a one-sided and simple view of the judgment and opinion of a thing. What"s more, the children"s views on some things are directly wrong. But this is only because the children are limited by their own conditions. If you want your child to have a good development, this requires the correct guidance of the parents. Parents have a strong life experience, a high degree of thinking ability, and a view of some things is far more comprehensive than children. But because parents and children understand the world differently. Parents should also not take too strong means to force children to make changes. What should parents do? I will tell you later.