You don"t know if your family"s current economic conditions are not good? " This sentence was heard when I was passing through the fruit stand in the supermarket. I was a little shocked when I heard it, so I paid more attention to it. This is what a 30-year-old fashionable big sister said to her daughter. The big sister is dressed in fashion and her makeup is very delicate. At first glance, the family is in very good condition.
Her daughter should want to eat that Yangmei, but now Yangmei has just been listed, so it is 35 yuan a pound, the mother feels a little expensive, she will not buy it for her daughter. When I talked to my friends about this, my friend smiled and said: "In fact, we must understand those parents. Parents may think that children should not be too petty. Let children know the hardships of life. It is not easy to get money. I teach my children to be diligent and save, and my parents taught me this way since childhood. " After listening to my friends, I feel that it makes sense, but I am a little surprised. What kind of thinking destruction is brought to the children by such "cry poor" education, although material poverty does not necessarily make children feel inferior, parents How many children"s mental attitudes affect the poverty mentality?
What impact does family-style crying education have on children?
1. let the child feel bored In fact, most of our parents" generations have experienced the difficult times of the 1970s and 1980s and the Cultural Revolution. It is more difficult to develop family conditions from a small family, and they have developed the diligent and economical character of their parents. I insist on the principle of saving provinces. When shopping, I have to shop around, which is a compulsory course for them. So when they are outside the education, they will try their best to instill this kind of thoughts and ideas into us. They always say, "This is too expensive, there is no need. " "There is still something in the house, we don"t want to waste it. " So much, " "You have to understand the hard work of making money, you have to save some flowers. ".. . I believe that we all hear a lot of similar words, but is this education really giving us thrift?
My friend is living in such an environment. She said that when she was a child, she always thought that her family was very poor, because parents always saved money, and often stressed that it was not easy to make money, but only when she grew up. The condition of the family is actually good, but she has developed a habit of diligence and saving since she was a child. Everything likes to use cheap. Once the price is a little expensive, she feels that it is not worth it, so she is reluctant to buy expensive things for her children. Like Yang Mei, she is not her, she will not buy it, because, in her values, Yangmei is a very cheap thing. Therefore, when we are young and we live in parents who are crying, we may be more diligent and more sensible than others. Parents think that this is the credit of their education, but in fact, this kind of education makes our hearts full of scarcity. Feeling, this feeling of lack will also accompany us all our lives. This lack of sense limits our pattern, affects our horizons, and makes us dare not chase the true desire of the heart, only dare to live the so-called "down-to-earth" days. This kind of crying thinking will be inherited from generation to generation. When we have our own children, even if our family conditions are not bad, we will continue this kind of crying thinking and let the feeling of lacking pass down from generation to generation.
2. let the child become inferior The child"s heart is inherently sensitive and fragile. Parents often cry with their children, and the child will form a feeling of being low in the dust. He feels that he can"t do anything, and spending money becomes a very painful thing. I feel inferior and feel that I am not worthy of those good things, and my personality will become sensitive and irritable. A colleague once told me that when she was a child, her mother always instilled in her thoughts that her family was in poor condition. She always said that money should save some flowers, so she always wears unsuitable pants because she will be in the second year. It was just right to wear, even if the colleague felt that she was very frugal, but her mother still told her to save some money. Now she grows up and makes money, but she still dares not spend money, dare not buy expensive clothes, dare not spend money to travel, dare not buy a house, dare not do what she likes, the only thing that can give him a sense of security. It"s the number that grows in the bank card, but she doesn"t get real happiness from it.
She still has no way to spend money on her mind. Even if the money is earned by her labor, she buys a 30-billion Starbucks, and her heart is full of guilt because she feels inferior and she feels unworthy. I remember the story of a 7-year-old boy whose father’s business failed and lost a lot of money. For this reason, his father always cried in front of the child intentionally or unintentionally. When a child wants a toy, Dad says that he has no money at home and can"t buy it. When a child wants to buy school supplies, Dad always picks the cheapest one for his child. His father"s original intention is to let the child know how hard it is to get money. The child grew up as his father expected, and he became very sensible. He didn’t want this and his father. One day, the child’s friend asked about his birthday party. The child refused because the child felt unfit. He was afraid that the classmates would laugh at him and look down on him. He could not afford a decent gift. The only goal of this child when he grows up is to make money and save money, but he is not happy.