Chapter 2: Motel. Continuation 2
Month to October. The number is the same. But later.
I think an hour ago I saw Scott in the reflection of the glass in the car as we drove up to the motel.
I was in the shower for half an hour until the water was completely cold.
Then Sam pulled me out of under him. He wrapped me in a blanket and put a pen in my hand. Sam said that this notebook seemed like the best medicine for me.
I think I'm sick.
I really want to go to Dallas. Idaho has too many ghosts for me.
October 16. It wasn't that hard to find out.
I came to my senses and I don't really understand what was going on then. Scott in Idaho? All I had to do was think hard to understand how ridiculous this was. He's in Portland with his woman, well-dressed and well haircutted, wearing shoes and talking to different sponsors about what it would be like to move into politics in Daddy's footsteps. He probably doesn't have problems like "how to get sneakers if you don't have any money. Or "feel the attack and fall so you don't get run over by a truck.
By the way. It's been three days - and not a single seizure. I have a strange feeling that all this has something to do with the Winchesters.
In general, ever since we met, I have had the feeling that it wasn't an accident. I can't explain it, just... some strange feeling. And they keep looking at me like they're waiting for something. Maybe they're not telling me something. But I don't feel threatened. I'm sure I'm not just safe with them - I'm very safe with them.
This afternoon, we went to a place to grab a bite to eat, and I caught myself not looking back and studying the visitors, who could kick me out of here because he wouldn't like my clothes or my behaviour, who was a dressed guard and who was just a cop. And I knew why I did that. Because I saw Dean Winchester entering the diner and scanning with the eyes of everyone present. They're not easy, these brothers, for sure.
So I suddenly thought they would really help me find Sharon. How strange it was that I hadn't thought of my mother as a real person for a long time. She was like a ghost who was always out there somewhere in front, you can't catch him... And now I can even make a list of things I remember about her. She has long hair and gray eyes, she's short and fragile, and she always says, "Let me blow and it all goes away," when I fall and knee-deep. She hates sitting in one place and calls me Mickey. She...
Today I asked Dena why they were helping me find me. Dean smiled a big smile and turned his back on me without answering anything. After a couple of seconds, he winked at the waitress. Dean was like that. I think no one would have said no to him. And that girl at the diner, too. I looked at Sam, and he answered me instead of my brother. He said: "You're looking for Mom. We lost our own, too. It will be great if we help you. Lost? I asked about it, but I got the same big smile back from the second Winchester.
That's what they look like - smiles. From which it knocks you down. And so - very different. Even outwardly. Sam was all wide - wrists, chin, forehead, soul. Dean - sharp: nose, teeth, hair, look. Perhaps I would like to see their mother. Maybe she looks like both of them.
After lunch, they asked me if I wanted to go to Wolmart right now. I refused. I don't know what I would do if my mother was still working there. I doubt we'll hug each other and go back to Idaho.
I also don't want to say goodbye to the Winchesters so quickly.
***
I'm slamming my diary with the last sentence. We're staying again, not in a motel, but with some friends of Dean and Sam's. A strange couple says they won't be home tonight. The Winchesters are nodding understanding.
This is even cooler than a motel. Brothers have good friends. I'm looking at a big apartment full of electronics. At the entrance to the room allocated to me on the wall is a real control panel. Probably, only an IT specialist can understand it. Or an astronaut - he has the same control room. I wonder if there are as many buttons in the shower room? I undress and go there, taking a towel from the closet.
And only after entering, I understand that someone is already inside. Hell, I keep forgetting that there are other people in the world besides me. Judging by the sound of a man singing in his soul, it's Dean. He's desperate to be fake, but he does it loud and loud.
I guess I should leave, and I almost do it, but... I come back. Show me someone who doesn't want to see Dean Winchester in the shower. Naked.
I'm preparing an excuse in case I find out - I didn't notice anyone was there, and it's almost true - and I slip into the bathroom quietly. Yeah, Dean clearly likes to wash under hot water. Under very hot water.