Trauma or neglect are just a few of the emotional wounds that can affect childhood and that could then weigh on adulthood.
Childhood is an essential phase of our lives also because it reflects on the way we are adults. Everything that happens to us in this period, in fact, can have consequences on our future, especially the most negative experiences.
Traumas or abandonment are just some emotional wounds that can affect us during childhood and that can then weigh on adulthood. On the one hand, it is the responsibility of parents to protect their children appropriately. On the other hand, as adults, it is necessary to address these issues that remained unresolved during childhood in order to move forward without too many consequences.
What are the main emotional wounds during childhood that can have consequences for adult life? Here are some main ones.
Fear of abandonment.
If the child is not properly cared for during childhood, due to the direct abandonment of the parents or because they are always away from home because of work, they risk being constantly afraid of being abandoned. As adults, this fear can turn into an extreme attachment to friends and partners, with whom an emotional dependence is established.
Physical violence.
If the father or mother is violent with their child, they will teach them to show their superiority only through physical violence. Frustration, fear and anger will accompany this person to adulthood when, probably, they could generate the same pattern of behaviour, for example through mistreatment of the partner or children themselves.
Rejection or injustice.
When parents react by rejecting the birth of their children, or by making them suffer from injustices, they will suffer an open emotional wound for years to come. They will grow up with low self-esteem and self-confidence, which will lead them to underestimate their abilities both at work and at an emotional level.
- Betrayal
Parents often use promises to persuade the child to do something they don't want to do too much about, such as homework. However, if these promises are systematically broken, the child will learn not to trust others and their words. As an adult, this fear will turn into jealousy and fear that others will always be unreliable and dishonest. - Bullying
If the child lives in constant humiliation by his or her parents or schoolmates, he or she will grow up in great insecurity. Low self-esteem, fear and anxiety may be the consequences that will accompany the child during adulthood. These behaviors, increasingly at the center of the news, must be eradicated not only from within schools but also from within families. - Fear
Parents often underestimate children's fears. On the one hand, they do not patiently push them to overcome their fears, but on the other hand they often use them to be able to keep them under control. Neither of these strategies is helpful. If they are not slowly and patiently overcome, these fears that emerge during childhood risk creating anxious, insecure adults who do not have the courage to face the changes.
So how do we work on childhood injuries?
Step #1: Forgiveness
The first thing to do is forgive the perpetrator of the abuse. It doesn't matter how badly you got hurt. You are the only one who is hurt by the things that happen to you. By keeping this resentment in your soul, you only ruin your own life and that of no one else. To forgive the offender, I recommend using the technique of forgiveness. It will help you to completely free yourself, once and for all, from your child's injury.
Step 2: Loving yourself
You've been traumatized for years. And you can't get rid of it by reading a single article. At least you have to work on yourself for a few weeks to get rid of the burden of child abuse. To do this, I advise you to increase your self-esteem and to love each other. By loving yourself, you will learn to defend your limits, and even think about your son's trauma, you will be quite relaxed, simply as one of the facts of your biography.
Step 3: Change your mind
Think of the man who hurt you. If it's a loved one, find out why they could have done it. After all, all our actions are related to the experience of life. It is possible that at that moment in his life he could not do otherwise or simply did not know how to do it. If possible, find out the facts about this person's childhood.
It is likely that, having made a complete picture of your abuser, you will realize that he had no idea what caused you the damage.