The night. Silence. Autumn cold with tree branches beating into windows. Spread out clothing. Pressing me closer to you, warming my cold fingers. There are four in the morning on the clock. We are about to get up. The plane will steal you. You promise: he will give me a present later. Keeping our eyes on each other, we keep silent. It makes me sleepy, but you try to remember every feature of my face. And I remember ten years between us.
Seriously, it's so weird. I was seven years old, I met the love of my life, I didn't know it myself. I brought cassettes with cartoons, and in addition a package of sweets. We dressed up and, singing unfamiliar words of familiar songs, danced, touching with our hands.
And you never talked about boys. But you were followed by hundreds at five, maybe. I thought I was a year younger than you. I was jealous of girls from the yard, you played only with me.
I thought everyone was kind and sweet. In the third grade I was reassured. The elders were just having fun with the kids. A trip. Broken nose. Their laughter, my crying. I came to you. You went there bravely, put a chair in the middle of their circle, got up; they did not understand what was going on around them. You took turns spitting in the face, and after a long, long run...
One day I told you that the boy carries my briefcase home. You didn't say anything, you just left. Then she said she was in love with him. You didn't say anything, you just left. And two days later I cried that he was seeing the other one off. You didn't say anything, you just hugged me. The boy is tall and strong now, but where is his front tooth?
Remember how you smelled cigarettes from me? Under your blaming eyes, I swore I'd tried it for the first time. You wanted to know the name - I said it. He was limping for a month after your conversation.
And you kissed me for the first time. I'm still blushing, you're still laughing. "I'll teach you" - I couldn't do it myself, you little cheater! "We're best friends, it doesn't count," she persuaded. I thought of a ten-day course. I can't remember why I drew you to the eleventh course close to me. But on the twelfth - a blue-eyed blonde. I told you. You didn't say anything, you just left. He asked me to be his girlfriend, and she shared it with you. You said: "Early." In return, you had a reproachful look, a stupid laugh. You didn't say anything, you just left. But you were right. At fourteen, there was another one. With him six months flew by like a day. You disappeared somewhere: the phone is off, the house is always gone. I didn't understand anything. I thought our friendship had broken up.
Your tears shed. I didn't say anything, I just left. Sleepless night, looking for answers on search engines, saying, "I'm not like that! I was scared. With you.
Two months didn't cross paths. Only then did I realize that I didn't have any friends around me: everyone benefits from me, and the guy doesn't even remember what she said to him five minutes ago. And how did you not notice before? Sleepless nights, looking for answers in search engines. I was scared. Without you.
I was ashamed of myself. Where is my best friend? And from now on, I am a draw's girl exactly.
We became inseparable from you. I shouted so much nerve at you that I'm normal and you're...guilty of everything. I got drunk and drunk with my fingers, dialing your number. I took it, cared for it, and scolded it in the morning. For a week, calmness, and went my roof again in a circle. Stupid, I didn't want to be happy. It happened three times exactly like that. You just threw my clothes in the hallway that morning, and I still had the nerve to be offended. Sleepless nights, crying eyes, looking for answers on search engines. I was scared.
You brought me bouquets of favorite tulips, I treated you to my first courses, you advised to open a restaurant. We couldn't eat a cake without covering our faces. We chose stupid movies, and on the last row kissed the whole session. When she tried to photograph us in the mirror, she rolled her eyes forever. We argued who loved whom more than anyone, as complete idiots. I complained about my figure, you complimented me. And I always whispered in my ear, which is the most important thing. I was jealous of you, even though I knew that your lips were only in my captivity. That you were all mine. I remember our first time. I've never been so shy in my life. You understood everything, you said: "Maybe we shouldn't. I agreed. A second later we looked over, pulled, kissed. At the end, it was an awkward moment: lying silently, looking at the ceiling.
My mother didn't like you when you were still a little girl. And she confessed that I love you very much. My mother now does not talk to me. And yours - all accepted, with difficulty, but still.
We didn't tell anyone anyway. Maybe someone guessed, what difference does it make? I love you very much.
You punished me last year for "excellent" study, I laughed, putting your picture on my screen saver. You said you'd wait for me. I've already crossed out the days in my mind. I love you very.
