Someone wants to put an ax on the collar. On the way, he thought: "Is the neighbor lending me her ax? The ax is bought by him. Is he willing to lend him? A generous person, when I last borrowed a plow from him, he said that the plow has Its broken. Of course, he won’t lend me this time. Hey, the ax doesn’t want to borrow, this collar is too bad, that person is too embarrassed. Righteousness, I will distribute something in the future, let it help, it will help. !"
The more he wants to be angry, the less he will approach the neighbor's door, and he will be completely desperate and under the control of anger. He was angry, knocked on the neighbor's door and said to his neighbor, "Oh, let us keep it." It is not uncommon for your ax to break!
This person may not have borrowed the last acts because he did not ask the neighbor to ask for an ax. Neighbors can also anger answer because of his manners and words: "Suddenly you fled to my house, you are crazy!"
How do you feel when reading this story? What is the point of view?
Some people can learn from it: reduce negative expectations and thoughts about things that have not happened yet. When things have not started, there will be psychological pessimism, so it is naturally impossible to do so.
In psychology, there is the term “self-fulfilling prophecy”, also known as “self-proven prophecy”, which means “how we relate to others affects their behavior and ultimately affects themselves or themselves. Evaluation". Your own assessment will affect your future actions. "
In short, what are your expectations and what the outcome is?
For example, in the family, the wife thinks that the husband is a selfish man, does not want to share the housework, does not know how to feel sorry for his wife, only cares about his happy selfish people. Then she might not ask her husband: "You have to wash the dishes." "Help wash the dishes." "Look up the table and prepare to open the meal." These requests may not be mentioned, or once the husband does not, She gave up, or the husband did, but she didn't care, she would ignore what her husband did, and then stare at what the husband didn't do, like forgetting the garbage, because you played the game late. Washed the bowl for an hour, or what the husband did was what he did. In fact, he didn't want to do this, or she didn't say anything and didn't ask for it, but she silently refused everything. Everything was done, but at the same time, I observed and checked my husband to see if he would take the initiative to help.
Then he said to himself: "Hey, I know that he is a very selfish person, only concerned about his comfort."
At first, the husband tried to share his homework but found that he did more or less, whether he did it or not. His wife thought he was a selfish person and didn't want to share housework. Gradually, he is getting more and more. I want to do housework, become lazy, and be a wife at home.
Wives, girlfriends and friends will tear their husbands like this: "My husband is lazy and selfish, and drinking a bottle of soy sauce at home doesn't help." Helpless, sad and slightly complacent. Since this is in line with her expectations, her judgment and ideas are justified. People are narcissistic and not loving themselves is right.
Many times, what we are worried about is not what we suspect, but what we are convinced, but it is not.
Many times, our "thinking" is just our "belief", not the truth of the world.
