Episode number 1. Boots.
Camera! Motor! Go! Vladimir, look more strictly. Add to the voice of metal. No need to repeat twice that Anna must comply with all your orders. You are the boss! Said and pretty. What is wrong now? Don't agree with the screenwriters? Do you think your hero would have come up with a better job than cleaning his boots? I wonder which one? Show off! Wow! You do pretty well, but the piano is a slippery instrument. It’s inconvenient that Ani has a back closure. What are the costumers thinking? Urgently change the dress! What? Is shooting time running out? Sorry. They only started to get into the taste.
Gregory, show us what we shot? Hehe. Charming. In vain, I did not go to the actors. In the first series, we will not show such sweets. There is nothing to spoil the audience before time. But you need to save. In the end come in handy.
That's all for today, gentlemen!
Episode number 2. Ball.
Camera! Motor! Go! Circling, circling in the dance, guys. Are you tired? The noble life was hard. And mine is even harder. So many couples in this series, and behind all eyes and eyes. I got tired. Show us what we filmed? Nightmare! Take away the emperor immediately! What is he doing at the Potocki ball? Have you come to look at the maids of honor? Doubtful version. Admit it, Nikolai Pavlovich, I wanted to hang around for the girls. Don’t be sad, you’ll have time for one hundred and twenty episodes! I’ll bother you with such a scene with Repnina! Why are Korf and Platonova running around in an embrace? Together waltz decided to dance. Who said your couple will be together? I don’t know anything! As the scriptwriters write, we’ll start shooting!
Gregory, cut them, but save! Who knows how the series will turn.
That's all for today, gentlemen!
Episode number 3. Kissing the tummy.
Camera! Motor! Go! So, Anechka. So smartie. Come in behind and hug Vladimir. Stroke it on the chest, on the baron's belly. No, below is not necessary. Your heroine is an innocent girl. Now turn to each other. Vladimir reaches for your lips. I said to my lips, where did you aim? Although ... You can understand the hero. Why reach for your lips when such a bust is nearby. Oh well. No distractions. Annie, put him on your knees, and you, Volodya, kiss her in the stomach. Yet. Yet. Anya, take your hand away! What for? Have you ever watched porn movies? So that the viewer can see what you are doing. You need to explain everything, but I soon did not sleep a day. Here! It would be so long ago. Hrrrr. Hrrrr. No! I am not sleeping! Just thinking about a new episode. Well, show what we filmed? Oops! What the hell? Anya wanted to prove that she watched porn movies? I see that I watched. But you guys are still far from porn. Can you not? No, don’t! Trim on the "tummy" and home.
Gregory, save the episode. At the end of the series come in handy.
That's all for today, gentlemen!
Episode number 4. Arrival in the bedroom.
Camera! Motor! Go! Volodya, what are you doing! Let her go immediately and say: “Go away!” - What? Are you wondering if your hero is not an idiot since he is driving away from his own happiness? Hm. As a man, of course, I understand. Anya in a transparent shirt is a real rose flower. But as a director, I urge you to follow the script. And the logic of actions is easy to explain to you. Your hero is a baron and always remembers noble pride and honor. And do not be angry! You never know more girls will come to you in the bedroom! I looked into the script. Already the line is lined up. Choose - I do not want! What? Do you want this one? I sympathize, but I can’t help. Ask the screenwriters.
Gregory, managed to remove what they were doing in bed? Cut and save. It’s useful for your wedding night.
That's all for today, gentlemen!
Episode number 5. On the couch
Camera! Motor! Go! I have long dreamed of filming an erotic scene in the spirit of Tinto Brass. Vladimir says: "I would have found you even on the edge of the earth." Gently look at Anya. Bring your lips together. Go kiss! Boldly. Boldly. Stop. Where from the frame Kalinovskaya? Did you rewrite the script again? Disgrace, it is impossible to work! Only inspiration has come! Anya, Volodya, stop hugging and poison my soul. And you, Gregory, cut that removed and save. Maybe at the end of the series, I will become Russian Tinto Brass.
That's all for today, gentlemen!
Episode 6. Prison.
Camera! Motor! Go! Stop grumbling that first wedding night on a prison trestle bed. How many times to explain to you! The bed is beaten and gone! For once, a fresh idea occurred to the writers, and you don’t want to understand. Anya does not put Volodya on his back. In the 19th century, men were still on top. What? Did Pushkin read anything else? I meant the first wedding night. Like this! And not food. You never know what boards are hard. For the sake of art, they did not tolerate this. Smile, pretend that you are pleased. Volodya, move more energetically! Well well! Stop! I said “more energetic,” but not to that extent. It is necessary to save the props. Hey somebody! Shoot down the trestle bed again and continue. What? Anyuta has bruises on her back? Oh, these beauties! Torment yourself with them. Good, good, don’t howl, I’ll ask that the script be changed.
Gregory, save large shots. Useful for pathetic minutes.
That's all for today, gentlemen!
Episode number 7. Wedding.
Camera! Motor! Go! Last series. A little more and I'm free. I myself do not believe in my own happiness. Vladimir, stop! He circled Anechka and quite. You see, she’s not standing on her feet. What? Do not need it? Will she be lying in bed soon? You are mistaken! The money is over. We will not remove the first wedding night. Yes Yes. Take out the lip-cutting machine. And do not be sour! Are you worried about poor viewers? So I believed you. Don’t worry about them. Of the cropped episodes, I glue such a night. Real jam! And you have a rest. Taken.
To you, Gregory, this does not apply. Prepare episodes. We will be engaged in the first wedding night.
That's all for today, gentlemen!
Epilogue
What? Which virus? Trojan Three thousand devils! What a jerk said that the figure is eternal! Grisha, well, at least something can be restored? No? No!!! Something darkened in my eyes ... Inhale ... Exhale ... And get a heart attack for a short while. Calmly. Why am I getting nervous? The series is filmed. Ratings are beaten. Just think, the audience was left without sweets. They’ll come up with it themselves. Not small. They want it, they’ll add it in fan fiction. There will be something to dream about.
Russian Tinto Brass did not work out of me, I will redo it in Antonioni.
That's all for today, gentlemen!