This year, I took a few years of rice cakes, and I found a very heart-warming thing - "Bear Kid" has become an international problem!
The last time I took the rice cake to the United States, the moment I stepped into the cabin, I felt the hostility with vigilance in all directions - the wrinkled brows and unhappy faces of the surrounding passengers clearly sent a message: the terrible bear child came. !
When we were dining at a fine dining restaurant in Vancouver, we had a lot of twists and turns -
As soon as she entered the door, the female foreman refused to use a polite and indifferent attitude: she said that she did not provide children's meals, and asked if the children had allergic foods until we were seated.
At the beginning, I was very strange: when the rice cake was small, he took him out, but there is no such "special treatment" ?
Until then, the rice cake remained quiet throughout the flight until the landing, and the gray-haired clerk praised him: “very good boy, very good traveller” (very good boy, great traveler); we ate quietly in the restaurant When the meal was finished and the door was ready to go out, the attitude of the female foreman changed greatly, and the children's car was pushed gently and enthusiastically to help the rice cake.
I suddenly understood why I was "specially treated" before - the age of the rice cake is the standard age of the "bear child" who is energetic and troublesome!
I think that the quiet journey may be filled with the screams of bear children; the warm dining environment is going to be ruined by the bear children's play, I am afraid that no one is happy?
It is no wonder that some high-end restaurants in foreign countries stipulate that "children under the age of 7 are not allowed", but dogs are allowed, and it is also said that it is forbidden to enter the country to "make business better."
But who can blame this?
After all, there are news of "bear children" everywhere, what ran to grab the dishes on the table of others, screaming all over the place and throwing the dishes everywhere - no matter how at home or abroad, it is not uncommon!
Whenever a child plays "bear" in public, many parents are confident that he is still a child!
If he is still a child, can he be unruly and arrogant, and he is not worthy of respect and equal treatment?
These trips with rice cakes have made me think about it again:
This is because he is still a child, so don’t let him go.
Respect this matter, the problem is not in the child, the parents must rely on their own efforts to exchange.
1 Parental attitude
Decided the child's upbringing
Many parents will say that it is not unreasonable to encounter a child to commit a "bear", but it is useless to say a few times, so they give up.
The first thing to tell everyone is that the children who listen to it basically do not exist.
Just like the praise of the rice cake, I have to at least say the truth + practice 20 times.
As for the apology, at the beginning, the rice cake was not willing to say sorry.
In fact, I can understand him. The younger child does not understand that "the mistake can be changed is a good thing." In their cognition, admit mistakes = admit that I am a bad boy.
So I showed him to him again and again: adults will do wrong things, and apologizing for doing things is a good thing to take responsibility and show courage.
From taking him to admit mistakes to myself admitting mistakes, once, twice, ten times, twenty times... repeatedly repeating to him.
Slowly, acknowledging this matter is no longer so difficult for him.
But this little progress is a challenge to parents' patience and perseverance.
Of course, it is inevitable to bring some uncontrollable scenes with children. After all, children are natural negotiators. They always look for all possible opportunities and use everything that makes you embarrassed, such as lying on the floor, screaming, crying. Fight for your rights.
At this time, the principle I gave myself was -
"Do not negotiate with terrorists"
If the child's behavior occurs in public and affects others, I will take him away from the scene . After he has stabilized his emotions, he clearly tells him what behavior is appropriate, what behavior is inappropriate, and the consequences of inappropriate behavior.
Only by adhering to the principle of the boundary, after a period of running-in, the child can truly understand what the boundaries of the rule mean.
2 Cultivate an educated child
Is giving him the greatest sense of accomplishment
In addition to making children more popular, the more important value of “educating” is to make children feel more fulfilled and therefore more confident and optimistic.
It's not hard to find out when you think about it. When you use the phrase "he is still a child" and let him use it unreasonably, it is equivalent to telling him that the child is lower level and different from the adult.
Respect each other, this is the basic principle of the adult world, and I also use it for a lot of interaction with rice cake.
For example, when I ask him to apologize, he will tell him that "Mom respects you, but you must respect others as well. Your rude behavior is not respecting people, so you have to apologize."
For example, if you eat at a restaurant, he knows that his mother said "嘘" to shut up, he thought of running around, and the mother said no, just come back and sit down, I will tell him: you are respecting others. People who respect others will also be respected by others.
I don't think that the rice cake is a child, just give up and let him follow the rules; I will never let him think that the child can be quite unreasonable and not consider the feelings of others.
Respect, self-respect, affirmation, and self-worth are rooted in his heart.
In fact, children who always love unreasonable troubles are often children who have no sense of accomplishment.
For children, the best sense of accomplishment maybe - I can be like an adult.
Many parents believe that literacy, English, counting, and reading are the education of brain development.
But in my opinion, learning to respect each other and develop good behavioral norms is an important course to integrate brain development.
Moreover, this matter is really not a matter for the mother alone - you must not only tell him what to do but also to take practical actions and ask the whole family to be coherent and consistent.
Only when you speak for yourself, today is the same tomorrow, the whole family is the same, and adults do the same, children can remember and do.
It’s really more important for children to grow up than to become “successful” children with excellent grades.