When a child grows up, he or she starts to move away from his or her parents, to rebel, to demand more freedom and independence. How not to let the situation out of control and keep a good relationship with the teenager in this difficult period? Tell us.
Show love
The first thing you have to do is to show your love, not be stingy and praiseworthy, and be sensitive to the emotional needs of the teenager. There are several specific rules that parents should keep in mind.
1. love cannot be too much.
Tell the teenager that you love him or her as often as possible. Remind them that they are the source of your infinite joy. Hug and praise him sincerely.
Do not restrain your gusts of tenderness and be cold because you are afraid to spoil your child's attention. Some parents believe that the severity of the relationship educates the character. In fact, everything is just the opposite.
2. Do not be shy about the physical manifestations of your love.
The child needs a physical manifestation of love from parents not only in infancy but also in adolescence. Even if he is ashamed of it. Sometimes it is just a little more delicate when and how you do it.
In other words, learn to show your love without showing it: kiss a teenager quickly enough when he leaves for school in the morning, hug him when he comes back from school, slap him on the shoulder when he leans over the table doing his homework. Such physical contact, however fleeting it may be, strengthens your mutual emotional attachment.
3. be sensitive to the emotional needs of the young person and respond to them.
This does not just mean comforting the child when they cry or calming them when they are afraid. It is important to carefully observe the mood and react in a way that helps the child's emotional development.
4. "My home is my fortress.
A teenager needs to feel that the home is a place where he can hide from the difficulties of daily life. Create an atmosphere that allows the child to really relax and forget about their problems.
Try to reduce the level of stress, to make sure that there are as few quarrels, arguments and emotional clarifications as possible at home.
5. Participate in your child's life.
Participate in the school life of the teenager, take an interest in his or her friends, discuss his or her problems and successes with him or her, and just talk in his or her spare time. There is nothing more important for the correct psychological development of the child.
Asking questions and taking an interest in the young person will help to increase their self-esteem.
This requires time and effort. Often, it is necessary to rethink your child's priorities and even sacrifice your own interests to do so: miss an unimportant meeting at work or make the trip as short as possible. But it is worth it.
Teenagers should know that they can always count on your support if there are problems. Openness, a non-judgemental approach and a willingness to listen are very important. If you are busy and cannot be distracted, make an appointment to talk.
6. Spend time together.
It can be difficult for parents to maintain close contact with a young person who is programmed to be separated from them. But it is important that you are able to spend time together. Therefore, plan regular activities that are pleasant for all family members. Do not discuss difficulties and conflicts in such moments.
Set reasonable limits
When there is no clear guidance, it is difficult for children to understand which behavior is considered acceptable.
Clearly, certain rules and expectations of parents need to change as the child grows up and becomes more independent. Children of all ages need to be restricted, but gradually they need to be made more and more conditional.
Here are a few recommendations on how to be a moderately strict parent.
1. Be clear about your expectations.
Your expectations may not be clear to the teenager because they are not formulated. You may assume that he already knows that you cannot leave wet towels on the bed. Or that he should warn you if he is late for dinner. But what a grown man takes for granted is not so obvious to a child.
The vague formulation of expectations is another source of problems. It is not enough to tell your 12-year-old daughter that you expect her to be clean in her room. You have to explain what exactly comes into the cleaning process: put clean things in the closet and dirty ones in the laundry basket, wipe the dust off the furniture and vacuum once a week.
Continued in the next part