The study found that children with democratic and authoritative families have the highest rate of achievement, and their fundamental characteristics are to respect the initiative of children and cultivate their self-control.
Education expert Jiang Pei-Rong takes the driving as an example to say the most accurate image: the initiative is the accelerator pedal, and the self-control is the brake pedal.
If you don't have any pedals, you can't drive. If you drive, you will be in danger.
Therefore, growth is not a process of only refueling and not slowing down. Growth is a two-track orbit that has a relaxation, a looseness, and a tightness, and this raises higher educational requirements for parents.
Successful education is actually a balanced education. The high level of parental education is characterized by the freedom of retraction.
As early as the 1930s and 1940s, Freud once said that civilization is two things.
Compared with the wilder age, civilized people are knowledgeable, technical, and capable. They can get more wealth and resources from nature, thus making their lives richer, more comfortable, and more self-sufficient. This is matter. civilization.
The emergence of the second civilization is due to the fact that people's desire to obtain the first civilization will continue to expand, and it will also cause social chaos. Therefore, it is necessary to form some social morality and various laws and regulations to restrict human behavior. This is what we call Spiritual civilization
However, Freud also analyzed that these two civilizations are in conflict with each other, that is, people must be comfortable for themselves, and they do not want to comply with the regulations. If people follow the regulations, they will feel unfree and uncomfortable.
He said that the second civilization did not do well because people did not do well under various social systems. This is the biggest issue for us to improve the social system in the future.
Now for the second civilization, most people do not feel comfortable, only a small number of people are comfortable. These people are internalizing these social laws and ethics (turning external consciousness into inner needs), we Can education enable more and more people in China to reach the internalization of external rules so that the second civilization does not make him feel uncomfortable?
The above viewpoints and achievements are the experience of Professor Chen Huichang, a famous psychologist at Beijing Normal University.
From 1995 to the present, Professor Chen and his research team conducted a 20-year follow-up study of more than 200 children in Beijing. From the age of 2 to the current 22, they were observed every three or four years. The form includes sending questionnaires, videos, recordings, etc. to parents, and finally came up with the psychological characteristics associated with the two civilizations of Freud. This is the "two seeds", which are on the children and adults.
Professor Chen believes that:
the first seed is the psychology of doing what he is happy to do. The psychological characteristics of this seed are active, intrinsic, and spontaneous.
Under the influence of this seed, people are happy, happy and comfortable.
For example, a child wants to play with sand, but his mother lets him read Tang poetry. At this time, under the guidance of the first seed, he thinks that playing sand is what he is willing to do, and reading Tang poetry makes him feel unhappy and not free.
The second seed is self-control, which is the psychology of accepting others to do things.
For example, obey the traffic rules, sleep on time at night, attend classes on time during the day, and complete homework assignments given by the teacher.
The two seeds are in conflict with each other, and it is easy to see a strong seed and a weak seed.
An interesting phenomenon is that the two seeds of the Nobel Prize winners are well developed.
Artists such as composers and painters are often the first seeds to develop, that is, the stronger the creativity and the worse the self-discipline.
Good education is to sow two seeds in the child's heart, one is initiative, and the other is self-control.
There is a natural, free and independent spirit of exploration when there is initiative. Self-control has the moral principle of promoting good and suppressing evil.
The so-called "two seeds" are all developed children, who are active in initiative and self-control.
From the perspective of psychology, in terms of the development of children's and adolescents' personality, these two psychological dimensions, self-control, and human initiative, constitute the complete personality of human beings.
