An old fairy tale about an unhappy girl who does all the whims of an evil stepmother is a very common story in real life. At the end of the fairy tale, Cinderella got what she deserved when she met the Prince Charming. But it's just a fairy tale, and there won't be a happy ending in life until Cinderella herself takes control of the situation.
There are women who are good mistress and wife, mother and conscientious worker, but she is unhappy, because her career does not develop, her husband and colleagues do not respect her, children do not obey, and the reason lies in the uncertainty, as well as the tendency to self-abasement, self-criticism and "sick" perfectionism. This is the psychology of their behavior. They are helpful, cannot respond to requests, and others brazenly take advantage of it.
Symptoms:
- A woman is "hovering in the clouds," not paying attention to the pressing issues;
- low self-esteem;
- unsuccessful attempts to earn the respect of all by means of obedience;
- obedience, inability to prove their point of view;
- A woman has various complexes;
- Inability to enjoy life and to enjoy it;
- Excessive emotional attachment to family members;
- passion for TV series, novels, idealization of the partner.
The woman, having Cinderella syndrome, still dreams of a fabulous life. But these are just illusions. To make this dream come true, it is necessary to act, but the psychology of Cinderella does not allow to do it, they remain in the invented world.
The root of this problem since childhood. It is to girls most often parents have high demands, unlike boys. Parents do not allow their daughter to engage in than usual, in every possible way loaded with various household chores, writing down on the section, forcing hard to study. All these activities are useful, but the child does not have free time for entertainment and recreation. In such cases, the girl begins to think that she is loved for a reason, the love of parents should be earned through success and achievements. In most cases, such a child does not hear praise, which is very important in education, but only the requirements. High demands, among other things, are made not only by parents, but also by teachers at school, dissatisfied with the slightest mistakes. They know that a girl can learn better.
As a result of powerful pressure from adults, the girl's self-esteem is reduced, she closes herself in and directs all her energy and thoughts to the perfect performance of the work. It is this kind of behavior that characterizes Cinderella's complex in psychology. It would seem that a calm, helpful, economic, excellent girl at school daughter - the ideal child, but parents do not even guess about what is happening in the head of little Cinderella, which awaits her in the future.
There is Cinderella's syndrome in another sense. It is manifested in the desire of young girls to leave their provincial city to conquer the capital, finding their happiness there. But dreams, in most cases, remain dreams. Few girls achieve their goal by meeting a wealthy "prince", thus solving their problems.
It is possible and necessary to get rid of the good girl's complex, otherwise it is possible to remain a worker's bee with low wages for the rest of his or her life and tolerate contempt of his or her spouse, children, and reprimands from his or her superiors, hoping for a reward based on merit that cannot be easily obtained. The first step to correcting the problem was awareness and acceptance of the problem.
Hard and long work is needed, but it will teach you to respect and love yourself:
You need to learn the word "no". If a woman with Cinderella's syndrome is asked for something, it is more like a demand, because the person knows in advance that she will not refuse the request and will not require anything in return. But it is not necessary to agree and run away to fulfill the request. If the request is unpleasant, or there is no time to do it, you can reject it without inventing a series of excuses. Everyone has the right to simply refuse.
Cinderella, as you know, is always underestimated self-esteem. These are perfectionists who focus on failures, but do not notice the success. To increase self-esteem, you can take a piece of paper and write down your shortcomings and virtues, which will be more. It is also possible to celebrate successes during the day and just to praise yourself for it. Praise from others should also be taken for granted, not blushed and complimented. Praise, which means that it is deserved.
To realize your dreams you just need to love and respect yourself, knowing that you deserve the best, then everything will work out.