If you are single now and are particularly eager to find your partner, you have talked about love before, but these people have not been able to come with you.
We assume that you are over 30 years old and become the older "leftover man and woman" in the mainstream culture. Parents and relatives are very vocal about your single, and friends around you are advising you to fall in love, even when you refuse a good sister. When introducing the object to you, my sister said to you: "You should waste your youth!" You have also tried blind date software, but you have never met someone who really makes your heartbeat, and you are trying to get along with strangers again and again, and you feel exhausted.
You begin to wonder: How many times do you want to talk about your love again, in order to meet your own "destination", meet your own "true life / heavenly girl", meet a partner who can spend a lifetime with yourself? Even when you think of this person you may never encounter, you can't help but shudder: "So I will be lonely and old? Or will I compromise to reality early, just find someone to marry?"
If there is a magic app at this time, you can accurately calculate the probability that you and a person will be against each other. You don't have to endure the anxiety caused by all the unknowns. You don't have to waste time with the "inappropriate" people. You will let the software do it for you. Is this calculation?
The story in the fourth episode of the fourth season of [Black Mirror] is about such a software.
If you can find "true love" through a software
Amy and Frank are using the same blind date software, but the difference between this software is that you need to go through many loves first, each time the object of love is assigned by the system, the system will be in every time you are in love. Collect your preferences, how you feel when you get along with each other, and finally recommend your true love for you.
Amy and Frank were arranged to meet each other when they first used the software. Obviously, they are especially good. But how long they can get along with each other, the system has the final say, and two people have to let the system reveal how much time they have. So, two people who had a good relationship saw the time and found that they only had 12 hours to be with each other.
After the meal, they were picked up by a car to the room arranged for their date. Twelve hours passed by, and two people said goodbye. After bidding farewell to each other, the system immediately arranged a new date for them. This time Amy had to get along with the subject for 8 months. The other person was a very attractive person, but he regarded Amy’s relationship as a task. A man. Frank maybe even worse, he has to spend a year with a woman who has no interest in him and looks at it with a cold eye.
In the meantime, they all have time to disobey the system, but every time the system tells them: "Everything happened for a reason." and then persuaded them to continue to follow the system. During this period, they had a short encounter, and they were obviously attracted to the other party, but they could only continue to live with their dating partners.
After Amy finished her eight-month appointment, she was constantly assigned a new object by the system. Every time she was a few days short, she always completed the task like the body of the body, and the soul was next to it. Look numbly at everything that happened. Frank is counting on his own life with the other party and hopes to leave the purgatory of this year as soon as possible.
After Frank ended the relationship, the system miraculously arranged for him and Amy to become partners again. Both of them were delighted with this matter and negotiated who would not see how long they could be together. But one day, Frank couldn't help but secretly watched the time the system arranged for them: 5 years. Just as he was happy, he found that the time in the system began to decrease: 3 years, 1 year, 8 months, 3 months, and finally a few days. The system explained to him that because he had stolen the time alone, time began to become unstable.
After this brief gathering, they have to endure separation until the system tells them that they will pair with their "true love" and leave tomorrow. Before that, they can choose to say goodbye to someone they have ever contacted. They chose each other in unison. You can probably guess the development of the story, they finally decided to let the system go to hell, two people run away.
The reversal of the story is that when they escaped, they found that they were all simulators in the software, and there were thousands of Amy and Frank. In the 1000 simulations of the system simulation, these M and Frank had 998 choices to run away from each other, so their match rate was 99.8%.
The camera quickly turned to reality. In a small bar, Amy took her mobile phone and found that the system calculated the match rate with her was 99.8%. Frank, then she looked at the place not far from the bar and saw Frank, who also held the phone...
Would you like to have such a software in your own hands?
How to calculate "true love"?
Seriously, after watching the episode of the black mirror, I also sneaked into thinking that if there is such a software, is it that our love will become much easier?
But soon I discovered that such software itself has something that makes me very upset. I will use the following to explain the part that makes you uneasy, and invite you to explore the phenomenon of "finding true love."
Many people say that big data will eventually help us make almost everything. The song-song software will recommend the types we might like based on the songs we have heard in the past. I also see many netizens saying that daily pushes know themselves better than themselves. But can love really be calculated by data?
One of the assumptions of the data is that we have our own preferences and hatred, our own emotional patterns, the way we like to get along, and so on. And these things can be obtained through a sufficient amount of relationships with different people. But an Achilles heel of this hypothesis is that we are not equal to all our past relationships, and our preferences and even our personality are constantly changing.
So even if there is software that can simulate our personality, then use these simulated personality to fall in love, and we have 998 times in 1000 experiments to choose to run away with one person, and it does not explain the real, constantly flowing and changing. Among the two, the other party will be our true love.
I remember that my consulting teacher once said something that shocked me. He said: "If there is a math problem in front of you, it says 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... This number has been written to 101, then there is a space at the back that lets you fill in the blanks. How much do you want to fill?"
He continued: "Many people may fill 102, but who actually made such a rule? We have been looking for rules in these topics from small to large, and then follow this rule to write the next number, not writing correctly." Is there such a rule in life? No, you can write 1000, you can write 55, you can also write 1. The past things may have rules to follow, but in the next space you will always have the freedom to write any numbers."
This sentence shocked me at the time: I may have done some very similar choices in the past, but this does not mean that I will definitely make such a choice next time. In each choice, there are my innumerable possibilities. I can choose a different trajectory to find another one.
Some time ago, one of my girlfriends experienced a divorce and broke up with her husband who had known her for 12 years. She said that her ex-husband met all her illusions about men at that time. When she knew her ex-husband, she liked those who were strong-minded, motivated, smart and especially diligent. However, after her ex-husband experienced his busy business and reading, now she prefers to find someone who is willing to accompany herself and get along well. Changes in these thoughts and feelings cannot be obtained from past data.
We are constantly flowing, changing, generating and changing, and we are constantly creating ourselves in this process. The pairing between data and personality traits actually sees people as rigid, solid, solidified individuals. Even if the first 101 numbers follow a trait, we can still choose to fill in a 102-digit number with a number that is not related to the previous rule. The fresh vitality and creativity of life is here.
We can constantly create new ones, although few people do so. When you know that you have been working in accounting for the past ten years and you don't mean that you have to be an accountant in the next year, you may still continue to be an accountant in inertia, even if you don't appreciate and like this job. Even when you have been a counselor for 10 years, and you like to be a consultant during these 10 years, you can still choose to do different things in the 11th year.
Of course, not everyone can bear such an unknown. The unknown is exciting on the one hand and frightening on the other. When we know that we can choose not to repeat past preferences, and even the value that is important to ourselves can change, there is an endless unknown waiting for us.
We don't know what it will be like next year. I don't know what kind of person I will be after 10 years. If we are single at the moment, we don't know when and how we meet our partner. We don't know the partner. How is a person, we don't know how long we can be with each other...
But the most beautiful part of life is hidden in all these uncertainties. We create new possibilities in every moment, those who have never had a chance to appear before, those that we did not dare to achieve before, may be created by us at these moments.