PART 1
Ok, I admit, I am a little perverted. Because sometimes, I just like to see others unhappy.
I don't know why sometimes I am very happy to see how some people feel uncomfortable. In fact, I also want to be kind, but let me think about it, just think about it.
Even my closest people, parents, lovers, good friends, and customers.
Although I love them very much, it does not affect sometimes I hate them. At this time, when I had the chance, I just wanted to retaliate against them, attack them, and pour some cold water on them.
At this time I will be a little proud and superior. You said:" I am not very abnormal."
One of the ways I make them unhappy is to refuse.
You don't know how cool it is to reject a person.
I have a lot of words that I refuse, now I teach and teach you, if you are the same, you can learn:
"Do not"
"I do not"
"I don't mean"
"I won't"
"I do not want"
"I don't want it"
"No"
"No"
"not good"
Have you learned?
In fact, these words have a common core point, that is, there is a "no" word.
But let me reject them, there must be a premise:
They have to ask me for it, and I have a chance to say no. I can't be someone else doing something else, I ran over and said: "I don't." This makes me even more abnormal.
Because I especially like to refuse, so I like others to ask me.
Therefore, I like others to ask me so that I can reject him. And why do I like to reject others, because it is really cool to reject others? Hahahahaha
PART 2
Some people have difficulty expressing rejection, but it is because of their guilt.
Guilt is saying:
If I refuse others, it will hurt others. I hurt others, I am a bad person. Others will retaliate and leave me, and I will destroy the relationship.
Therefore, the guilt of a person who is difficult to refuse is actually saying: I don't want to be a bad person, I don't want to destroy the relationship, I don't want to be hurt.
I really want to say to such people:
You are too narcissistic.
In your imagination, others are so fragile that you can't stand your rejection. You are so powerful, so powerful that you can make someone else's heart scream.
This is actually when you project your glass heart to each other. If you can't afford to refuse, you can project think that others can't stand it.
I like to reject because I believe that others are strong.
I believe that my parents, lovers, and friends are strong enough to withstand and digest my rejection. Even if they are injured, they can repair the injury in a short time without affecting our relationship.
In this way, I have both the pleasure of rejection and the relationship, I am still a good person.
Is that other people in the glass heart? do not know. But as long as you believe that others can afford it, you can express your rejection.
Of course, some people are really glass hearts. When I refused, I felt that I was selfish and uninhibited, and I ignored me. Then I am happier, so glass heart really does not deserve to make friends with me.
For the family, the family may be really injured. Then I will consider: At this moment if I don't meet his needs, he will be hurt. At that moment, am I responsible for his injury?
PART 3
Some people, after you refuse him, he will not only be injured but will be persevering. For example, the mother's broken thoughts. Wear long pants, find an object, and go to sleep.
It is very important that you will be expertly rejected at this time. Skilled rejection is actually the least hurting.
In the skilled rejection, there is a feature:
Rejection without hostility.
At this time, your refusal is to talk about things. You just said no, no other things. Even if someone else is hurt, others can understand and feel that you don't like it, not that you don't like him. You can also feel your determination and cannot be changed.
Although he will be uncomfortable, he has no choice but to respect your decision, respect your point of view, and respect your preferences.
But in the unskilled refusal, there are two other possibilities. The first one is:
With hostile rejection.
That is, you not only said no, but you also attacked others.
You will be mixed up: It is wrong for you to ask me. You are uncivilized, impolite, selfish, controlful, and controlive.
When my mom asked me to wear long trousers, I refused it: I don't, I don't wear it.
But I observed that when someone else was asked to wear long trousers, some people refused it: Can you leave me alone!
The first kind of rejection is just expressing myself. The second kind of rejection is a definition of a mother's behavior, you are in the "tube."
Once you have defined it, Mom will begin to explain: "I am not in charge of you, I care about you, it is for you", ah ah ah.
Then you start a discussion about whether your definition is correct.
And my mom can only sigh: "Can you not be so capricious." I will also say: I don't. At this time, she can only say, "I was so capricious from an early age." At this time, in my resoluteness, I did not leave any space for her to discuss.
Another unskilled refusal is:
Rejection with explanation.
Many people cannot refuse because they always feel that people cannot refuse unreasonably. So they express themselves and must have reasons.
But you explain why it will be rejected, and the other party will take action. If you find another reason, he will take another shot.
Then you will have an academic discussion about whether or not to do a possibility.
Endless.
Reject this, if you look for an excuse or label the other party, you give the other party the motivation to ask, and you have personally created a topic that can be discussed.
So, how do you train well? I can also teach you this:
Don't be patient when you are uncomfortable. Every time you endure, you are brewing aggressiveness. Also don't explain, as you explain, there is a gap. Of course, unless you are sure to break all the rebounds.
PART4
Although I like to reject others, I don't reject them all the time. Because I still like others to need me.
What others mean by asking is that he needs me. My mom asked me to wear long pants, but she also needs me. She needs to be useful to me and feels that she is still a useful good mother.
The control of others is actually expressing his need for me. And he needs me very much, it gives me the opportunity to build relationships.
I want to establish a relationship with him, and I will seize this opportunity. For example, the goddess said, can you borrow me 20,000 yuan, I will quickly refuse, I said: No, you have to borrow 30,000.
At this time, she asked, I believe in me, rely on me, I have a certain initiative.
Others need me, I don't reject him, he will like me a little more. And the people I care about have a little more like me, I am happy.
And if I don't care if he doesn't like him, he needs me and brings me happiness. For example, a student who has not contacted for eight years suddenly came to me to borrow 10,000 yuan, and I will happily agree: OK, wait for me to go back and discuss with the object, I must borrow you.
Then the classmate said: Are you not an object?
I can pick up a sentence that I like to say and make me particularly happy: yes, so I have no discussion.
This is the benefit of others asking me:
He gave me the initiative. I can choose to make him happy and build relationships with him. You can also choose to refuse and see others are uncomfortable.
I am not very abnormal. Hahahahahaha.
So I would like to say: I am grateful to others for asking me and giving me the opportunity to reject him.