Every family faces different kinds of crises to varying degrees. And some of them are common to all. To give an example: each of us from childhood formed ideas about what a family, what values are more important and what less; we unconsciously absorb the various stereotypes of behavior that exist in our parent family. The first, so-called normative crisis, i.e. existing normally in the development of the family-is a crisis at the stage of creating a young family, the so-called "dyad". It consists in the fact that there is a clash of these same values and stereotypes of family functioning. And the best way out of it is a reasonable combination of values of each of the spouses, which, unfortunately, is not possible for everyone. The birth of a child is, in addition to happiness, also a crisis, as it is necessary to change many rules. At this stage, the distance between the partners increases, there is a "third" who needs attention and care. Most often, young dads accept this changed situation. Are included in the care of the family, in their own way show their participation. But it also happens that the father feels alienated and plunges into work or, in the worst case, into something negative, for example, begins to abuse alcohol. Subsequently, when children grow up and, it seems, the spouses can again become closer, this does not happen, since there are no common interests, and everyone lives on his own, since the only thing that rallied is common children Along with the so - called normative crises associated with important family events that each family experiences throughout its life cycle, there are also non-normative crises inherent only in some families.
Non-normative family crises are most often associated with events such as divorce, adultery, change in family composition, not related to the birth of a child, adoption of foster children, the inability to live together for various reasons, teenage pregnancy, financial difficulties, etc.Stressors, causing non-normative family crises, divided into super-strong and chronic.
To superstrong stressors include: the death of one of the spouses, parent or child; adultery; a sharp and dramatic change in the social situation of the family (change in social status, financial status of the family); severe chronic disease of one of its members
Chronic stressors (long-term) act on the principle of "a drop sharpens a stone" and include such factors as unfavorable housing and material conditions; high emotional tension and significant chronic loads in professional activity; excessive household loads; violation of interpersonal communication and long-lasting conflict in both the marital and child-parent subsystems. Significant stress factors are also characterized by a sharp change in the stereotype of family life and the summation of difficulties (the effect of the "last drop"). The ability of a family to withstand stress factors is determined by its cohesion and the availability of internal and external resources to counter stress. The occurrence of an unexpected crisis event leads to an imbalance of the family system and requires adaptation to the new reality. The psychological mechanism of such adaptation, according to J. J. To Sandler, is the refusal to achieve the former ideal image of the family and replace it with a new ideal, close to reality. The process of individuation of the family acts as a condition of its normal development, aimed at the future and prevents "stuck" and regression to pre-existing ideal States. In addition to normative crises-difficulties associated with the passage of family life cycle milestones - the family system can experience and non-normative crises. Non-normative crisis is a crisis, the occurrence of which is potentially possible at any stage of the life cycle of the family and is associated with the experience of negative life events, defined as crisis.
R. Hill singled out three groups of factors leading to the emergence of family crises .
1.External difficulties (lack of own housing, work, etc.). Unexpected events, stresses (a family or one of its members becomes a victim of an accident or catastrophe .
2.The family's intrinsic inability to adequately assess and experience a family event that it considers threatening, conflictual, or stressful. These are the features and differences of normative and non-normative crises. Of course, each family chooses to go to her therapist or try to cope themselves. And, many, indeed, can cope on their own. But sometimes the crisis captures so that without the help of a specialist can not do. And then, to avoid even more problems, it is necessary to come to an appointment with a psychotherapist. The most common and dangerous forms of abnormal crises are jealousy and adultery. A distinctive feature of such crises is that they affect only the couple, but have a destructive impact on the family as a whole and especially on the children brought up in it. Unfortunately, a fairly common solution to such crises is the collapse of the family system (divorce), which entails the emergence of new social and psychological problems for each member of the broken family