HOW TO SELECT A PARTNER? OUR OWN PUZZLE?
You met a remarkable person and commenced to speak. however, generally you marvel if you have created the proper alternative. We advise you create a puzzle and verify however stable your union is. maybe it's this one that appeared in your life for a reason.
WHAT ROLES will we PLAY? We tend to all contend a task in our circle of relatives as youngsters (“parents” hope”, “family problem” then on). Having become adults, we, while not realizing it ourselves, begin to play an equivalent role in relations with individuals here and there. Have you ever noticed? whether we tend to area unit comfy or not, this can be a habit, and we, while not realizing it, obtain to “settle” in an exceedingly relationship in an exceedingly acquainted manner. There's not one random novel and not one random wedding. Somehow it's customary to suppose that falling enamored may be a matter of likelihood. however, do I select
A PARTNER? Once we meet an individual of the other sex and that we like him or her, it means we are able to play our usual role within the relationship by repetition our acquainted behaviors. As a result of he enhances North American nation together with his behavior and therefore the role he's willing to play.
As an example, one person (let”s say a man) grew up in an exceedingly family wherever he was routinely exploited. He was schooled “not to be selfish” and forever sacrificed his interests in the sake of others.
Of course, not all members of the family did an equivalent.This man meets the “woman of his dreams” and that they area unit drawn to every different sort of magnet. The girl is said as a “family idol”, she is selfish, exacting in relations with shut individuals and vulnerable to exploitation. During this case, they found one another a person
WHO is prepared to offer endlessly, and a girl WHO is prepared to require endlessly. however, did this happen? For simplicity, let”s gift an alternative within the variety of a puzzle. Here area unit 2 those who solely need to require in an exceedingly relationship: You see that the fragments of the puzzle don't coincide. And these individuals can né'er attract one another. Everybody can quickly notice that the partner won't offer them something. however, there area unit 2 those who solely need to give: These fragments of the puzzle don't coincide either. And these individuals won't arouse every other”s interest. Generally they ask: why? We tend to met 2 such sensible individuals, would be happy along. As a result of everybody won't be ready to do what they're used to: offer. There's nobody to require it. They each can't take it. however there area unit 2 opposites. As within the example on top of. Or the other way around. Selfish man can forever realize a girl.
WHO is prepared for putting to death behavior. And therefore the infamous “bitch” can forever realize a person she will exploit. So: there's a coincidence here, and such individuals realize one another all the time. however, it'll be associate degree sad couple. The everlastingly giving partner can accumulate rancor, as a result of the will everything for the opposite person, and his care is solely taken with no consideration, with none visible come. Within the soul of such an individual sometimes wordlessly hopes that the partner in the future can perceive what a treasure he got, and can be grateful. Usually thus happens, and other people in miserable couples, in fact, “fit” one another now but individuals in pairs of the happier.
CONSTANT THE Hassle those who have mature up in an exceedingly showing emotion safe atmosphere behave in a way that reproduces in their lives the things of well-being over and over: they're revered, they meet reliable individuals, they realize a soft one partner. On the opposite hand, we've got all seen those who are “on an equivalent rake” with others all their lives. As an example, a person gets employment over and once more, however is dismissed on every occasion. Or a woman meets guys over and once more, however all the blokes leave her for a few reasons. These individuals do one thing over and once more in their relationships — one thing terribly painful for them. Individuals around them usually guess that the explanation for this can be the person himself, and will not be significantly sympathetic to the conclusion that he's “to blame”. however, there's no guilt in it: an individual, as a rule, doesn't perceive however it works.
PSYCHOLOGICAL RECOMMENDATIONS . Is there one thing unpleasant in your life that repeats itself over and once more in an exceedingly relationship? Can you be ready to track it yourself in an exceedingly relationship? What does one do this makes things happen again? What reasonably individuals does one choose? If you can't stop repetition it, if you can't even notice however it all happens once more, contact a man of science. It is troublesome for all folks to alter our habits. After all, our previous habits became our own; we've got mature up with them and lived for several years. however, generally it becomes necessary to make a harmonious relationship in an exceedingly couple.
