We are satisfied with life when we are loved and awaited by loved ones and important people. This addiction can be taken for granted and "not scratching where it doesn't itch". And what to do if the public opinion does not rest? Know yourself and make sure you are worthy of love and respect.
What will people say?
What will people say?
It would seem that we don't care who thinks about how beautiful we are, what we are dressed in, what we have said or done? The famous Coco Chanel once said: "I don't care what you think of me because I don't think of you at all. The same opinion is held by our contemporary American actress Cameron Diaz, who said that she doesn't care about anyone else's opinion, and she will live her life the way she wants to live, not someone else's.
People who are independent of other people's opinions can be envied, but they are in the minority. Most people need the approval of others, sometimes even those who are not sympathetic to them. Some people have such an addiction that they need the services of a psychotherapist. In particular, the actress Megan Fox, known for her phobias, has mental problems. Although, she says, she often fails to pay attention to the streams of lies disseminated about her by tabloids, nevertheless, she once said: "...Believe me, I care what people think of me, ... because I am not a robot.
Too dependent on the opinion of others, impressionable people with fragile psyche, and especially young people. Perhaps they will feel better when they learn about the rule of "18-40-60" by the American psychologist Daniel Amen - author of many bestsellers, among which "Change your brain - and life will change! He assures his patients suffering from complexes, insecure and overly dependent on the opinion of other people: "At 18 you worry about what people around you think about you, at 40 you don't care about it, and at 60 you realize that people around you don't think about you at all.
Where does this dependence on someone else's opinion come from, the desire to like and earn the words of approval, sometimes even from strangers?
Of course, there is nothing wrong with charming the person you are talking to, making a favorable impression on him/her. After all, as they say, "a good word and the cat pleases.
It's about other things: when in an effort to like a person says not what he thinks, but what others would like to hear from him, dresses not as he likes, but as he is imposed by friends or parents. Gradually, without noticing themselves how, these people lose their individuality and stop living their lives. How many fates did not take place because the opinion of others was put above their own!
Such problems have always existed - how much mankind exists. Still Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu, who lived before. e., noticed: "Worry about what other people think about you, and you will remain their prisoner forever.
Psychologists say that dependence on the opinion of others is primarily characteristic of people with low self-esteem. Why people don't appreciate themselves is another question. They may have been "overshadowed" by authoritarian or perfectionist parents. Or maybe they have lost faith in themselves and their abilities because of successive failures. As a result, they begin to consider their opinion and feelings are not worthy of someone else's attention. Worried that they will not be respected, taken seriously, loved and rejected, they try to be "like everybody else" or like those who, in their opinion, have authority. Before they do anything, they ask themselves: "What will people think?
By the way, A. Griboyedov's famous work "Woe from Wit", written back in the 19th century, ends with the words of Famusov, who cares not about the conflict that took place in his house, but "What will Princess Maria Alexeevna say? In this work, Chatsky, a self-contained man with his own opinion, is opposed to Fahmus' society with his hypocritical morals.
Let's be blunt: it is bad to depend on the opinion of others, because people who do not have their own point of view are treated with indulgence, they are not considered and respected. And, feeling it, they suffer even more. In fact, they cannot be happy because they are constantly in a state of internal conflict. They are haunted by dissatisfaction with themselves, and their spiritual torment repels people who prefer to communicate with those who are confident.
However, there is another extreme: their opinion, desires and feelings are put above all else. Such people live by the principle: "There are two opinions - my opinion and the wrong one". But this is, as they say, "a completely different story.
...To be continued in the next part https://zen.yandex.ru/media/id/5d9068ea4e057700b18dc84b/how-to-learn-not-to-depend-on-the-opinion-of-others-and-be-yourself-part-2-5d92b5acc31e4900b16af382