As the secretary Verochka said from the film "Service Romance", if you want "you can teach the hare to smoke. And seriously, people underestimate their potential: they can do a lot of things, including
1. To change yourself, i.e. to learn to be yourself
And for that, you need a strong desire first of all. Writer Ray Bradbury used to say, "You can get everything you need if you really need it.
Changing yourself means changing the way you think. The one who changes his way of thinking will be able to change his life (unless, of course, he is satisfied with it). After all, all we have in life is the result of our thoughts, decisions and behavior in different situations. When making a choice, it is worth thinking that for us it is our own life or the illusions of others that are paramount.
The artist Salvador Dali, known for his bright individuality, said that he had developed a habit of being different from everyone else and behaving differently from other mortals as a child;
2. Control yourself
Having an opinion doesn't mean not listening to someone else's. Someone may have more experience or be more competent in some issues. When making a decision, it is important to understand whether it is based on your own needs or on the desire to keep up with others, or on the fear of being a white raven.
Examples are when we make a choice, thinking that it is ours, but in fact, for us all have already decided for friends, parents, colleagues, many. A young man is forced to marry because "it's time" and "it's time", because all friends already have children. A 25-year-old girl who studies in the city is asked by her mother to bring a young man to the village with her during the holidays, giving him away for her husband, because her mother is ashamed in front of her neighbors that her daughter is not married yet. People buy things they don't need, arrange expensive weddings just to meet other people's expectations.
When making a choice and making a decision, it is worth asking yourself how much he meets our desires. Otherwise, it is easy to let yourself be led astray from your own life path;
3. Loving yourself
The ideal is a relative concept. What is ideal for one thing may not be of any interest to the other. So no matter how hard we try, there is still someone who will judge us. It is impossible for everybody to like how many people and opinions we have. And I am not a "nigger to please everyone," said some literary hero.
So why waste your soul on a useless occupation? Wouldn't it be better to take a closer look at yourself in order to finally realize how unique and worthy we are of our own love and respect! This is not about selfish self-love, but about love for your body and soul as a whole.
A man who does not love his house, does not clean it up and does not decorate it. He who does not love himself, does not care about his development and becomes uninteresting, so does not have its own opinion and posits someone else's as his own;
4. Stop thinking about
Many of us exaggerate our significance in the lives of others. A married colleague has an affair with an employee. Nobody was interested in this fact so much that they could discuss it for more than a few minutes. But it seemed to the employee that everyone was talking about him. Indeed, he did not let people forget about it with all his appearance: he blushed, pale, stuttered and eventually quit, unable to withstand behind-the-scenes conversations, as he believed. In reality, however, his fate did not interest anyone, because each person is primarily concerned about their own problems.
All people are primarily busy with themselves, and even if someone wears socks of different colors, sweater inside out, dye their hair pink, he will not be able to surprise them or attract their attention. Therefore, do not depend on the opinion of others, who often do not care about us;
5. Learn to ignore someone else's opinion if it is not constructive
They don't just criticize someone who's nothing. The American writer Elbert Hubbard said that if you are wary of being criticized, "do nothing, say nothing, and be nobody. And we don't want to be "nobody". So we accept constructive criticism and do not pay attention to the one we do not agree with, preventing it from defining our lives. The famous Steve Jobs, addressing the graduates of Stanford University, gave them a good start: "Your time is limited, don't waste it living someone else's life.
Other people's success and popularity often cause envy in people who crave them, but who lack the intelligence, ability, self-discipline to win them. Such people are called hayters, and they live on the Internet. They express their "hated" opinion in comments, trying to break and make "go away" those who, in their opinion, undeservedly got fame. And sometimes they succeed.
Criticism is loved by those who are not able to create something themselves, Oscar Wilde wrote. Therefore, they are worthy of regret, and they should be treated with a fraction of irony and humor. As one friend says, their opinion will not affect my account in the bank.