Almost every young man or girl comes to the idea of starting a family one day. Everyone has an opinion about the future family, depending on the example they have seen since childhood in their surroundings, especially in the family.
Marriage by love or calculation
Whether to marry for love or to calculate whether people's views on marriage have always been rather ambiguous. In pre-revolutionary, patriarchal Russia, marriage by calculation prevailed. Not for nothing, one of the most famous paintings of the Russian artist Vasily Pukirev called "Unequal Marriage". Often young girls were given for a rich widower only to save them from poverty.
In Soviet times, the palm of the championship took the marriage for love. Soviet society condemned everything related to material values. With a thirst for profit. In the last thirty years, marriage by chance has become popular again.
So what should young people choose? Is the marriage of convenience so bad and is the marriage of love not hasty?
Most people in love, when preparing for a wedding, think that their feelings will last forever, but very little time passes and passionate feelings fade away, become moderate. Often everyday problems lead to quarrels. It is very rare in which families the passion for the rest of their lives is preserved.
In turn, a large number of young people as it were making a deal while getting married without feeling great love. They see what wealth of partner, whether he has a car, an apartment, a good profession and stable income. Love in such families, as a rule, does not smell.
Of course, it has the right to exist, perhaps, any option, to choose the young people themselves. It is just necessary in this case to decide for yourself that this or that person is more suitable. To do this, it is necessary to consider the advantages and disadvantages of both marriages.
Marriage for love
Many psychologists believe that marriage for love, no matter how strong it is - not the most ideal and strong option.
Dignity
Harmonious relationship
Wanting to make nice surprises and gifts
No negative character traits are noticed in the spouse
Good mood and desire to always be together
Favorite and desirable children
But, unfortunately, all this is quite temporary, all these virtues disappear as soon as the passions and feelings fade away.
Disadvantages
Genesis and routine break these marriages
Feelings are dying out in two or three years
To keep feelings alive, you need to work hard on yourself and your family relationships
Marriage by calculation
Marriage is judged by the majority, but it is still a choice made by a large number of people, and surprisingly, many of these families live well enough for many years.
Dignity
A smooth, calm relationship without scandal
Initially, partners see the advantages and disadvantages of the other and adapt to them
Availability of material goods, use of everything that a spouse can give
Good mood and desire to always be together
Often in such cases, they say, "Hold on, they will fall in love" and some of them do so, but these families are also vulnerable to collapse.
Disadvantages
If a partner doesn't like it at all, life can become unbearable
It may happen that the partner loses the social status and material benefits that people have married for
There's cheating when there's sudden feelings on the side
Don't forget that there should be everything in the family, both feelings and wealth. Choosing a partner you need to look closely and think about what I need, what do I want? And do not expect from the marriage only manna heavenly, you must be able to change themselves under the partner, and then everything will work out.