Every family has a certain system of upbringing that is not always conscious of it. This includes the understanding of the aims of education, the formulation of its objectives, and more or less purposeful use of methods and techniques of education, taking into account what can and cannot be allowed about the child. There are 4 types of upbringing tactics in the family and 4 types of family relationships corresponding to them, which are both a precondition and a result of their emergence: diktat, guardianship, "non-interference" and cooperation.
Dictatorship in the family manifests itself in the systematic behavior of some members of the family (mainly adults) of the initiative and self-esteem of other members of the family.
Parents, of course, can and should make demands on their child based on the goals of education, moral standards, specific situations in which it is necessary to make pedagogically and morally justified decisions. However, those who prefer all kinds of influences, such as orders and violence, face resistance from a child who responds to pressure, coercion, threats with his or her countermeasures: hypocrisy, deception, outbursts of rudeness and sometimes outright hatred. But even if resistance is broken, many of the valuable qualities of the individual: independence, self-esteem, initiative, self-confidence, and belief in one's abilities are also broken. The careless authoritarianism of parents, disregard for the child's interests and opinions, and the systematic deprivation of the child's right to vote on issues related to him or her - all these guarantees serious failures in the formation of his or her personality.
Family-based care is a system of relationships in which parents, while ensuring that they work to meet all the needs of the child, protect him or her from any concerns, efforts, and difficulties in taking them upon themselves. The question of the active form of the personality is secondary to that of the child. At the center of educational influences is another problem - meeting the needs of the child and protecting his or her difficulties. Parents are blocking the process of seriously preparing their children to face reality at home. It is these children who find themselves unable to live in a group. According to psychological observations, this is the category of adolescents who have the highest number of disruptions in adolescence. It is these children, who seemingly have nothing to complain about, who are beginning to revolt against excessive parental care. If dictatorship presupposes violence, orders, strict authoritarianism, then care - care, protection from difficulties. However, the result is largely the same: children have no independence, no initiative, they are somehow excluded from solving the issues that concern them personally, let alone the general problems of the family.
The system of interpersonal relations in the family, which is based on the recognition of the possibility and even expediency of independent existence of adults from children, can be generated by the tactics of "non-interference". It is assumed that two worlds can coexist: adults and children, and neither should cross the line. Most often, this type of relationship is based on the passivity of parents as caregivers.
Cooperation as a type of relationship in the family implies that interpersonal relationships in the family are mediated by common goals and objectives of joint activity, its organization, and high moral values. It is in this situation that the child's selfish individualism is overcome. The family, where cooperation is the leading type of relations, acquires a special quality and becomes a group of high-level development - a collective. The style of family upbringing and values accepted in the family are of great importance in the formation of self-esteem.
3 styles of family upbringing:
- democratic
- authoritarian
- populist
In a democratic style, the interests of the child are the primary consideration. The style of "consent". In an authoritarian style, parents impose their opinion on the child. The style of "suppression".In a populist style, the child is left to himself. Preschooler sees himself through the eyes of close adults, his upbringing. If the ratings and expectations in the family do not correspond to the age and individual characteristics of the child, his idea of himself seems distorted.
M.I. Foxina has tracked the development of self-awareness of preschoolers depending on the characteristics of family upbringing. Children with an accurate idea of themselves are brought up in families where parents spend a lot of time with them; they positively assess their physical and mental data, but do not consider their level of development higher than that of most peers; they predict good performance at school. These children are often encouraged, but not gifted; they are mostly punished by refusing to communicate.