Death.
How nevertheless it badly to die. Although became now easier, the pain almost passed, a body I do not feel already, there are only ideas...
How many of itself I remember, always gave a large value dreams. Not in that sense, that they can be prophetic, and inthat dreams were for me, perhaps, even more important, than the real life. Although why "grant"? Really, were much more important. Quite naturally, that I quickly learned to realizeitself in sleep and in course of time to manage dreams. Notfully, unfortunately, and by the present of sleepwalker to name me it was impossible, but to such things how to pass throughwalls, fly, move telekinesis small objects I learned. Alas, aphysical body did not have of possibilities spiritual, so that, costed will wake up, and to repeat that in sleep was thoughand not elementary, but naturally, as motion of hands, I didnot could already, though remembered perfectly, what effortsit is needed for this purpose to add.
And I died now. The sickliest part was behind, and the statereminded that, when fall asleep, but try to save an idea onthat concentrated in expectant of dream. And she slips out, and instead of necessary characters other swim in a head, abstract and in any way unconnected with primordial. Unpleasant. Very. If I rights in the hypotheses, then assumingit is in any way impossible, vice versa - it is needed clearly to realize itself and desires, otherwise I will get in some beyondthe grave world, and quite it is unimportant, as he is called is Paradise, Hell, Irui, purgatory or even Valkhalla, for me differences no, because I want to LIVE!
But not in the world of technical progress, befouled nature, tolerance to stranger crudity and universal indifference, that todying somewhere there, in a next hot point, to the unknownpeople, that to own native and near, with that, in our time, itbe not that for years the not seen is possible, so even and toknow what second cousin name is not necessarily. And in theworld, where even did not yet get out of the habit after
And in the world, where even did not yet get out of the habit after words to watch, let even under fear, that "for a goat" will be to answer an own head and no "human rights" will not save with "freedom of speech". Ха, now that it even in ideas looks funnily, but quite recently, on historical measurements, in a cabbage chopped and after were less, than another malapropism now meeting on the internet.
But actually, all of it the only background is conventions. Mainly, most key and qualificatory - I want to live in the world, where magic is. And where I will be able to reason by a magician! Naively, indeed? But here only this was my dream all conscious life and hardly from above - to possess by force! I'm even ready to become a werewolf or vampire, not to mention about that, to grow into a demon - at all defects, weaknesses and bad character of the above-mentioned kinds. But, alas, in my world such are not present, or they hide too well, that in my case the same.
How it is nevertheless heavy to stick to...
But I will survive, whatever it costed!
For anything will not I become the unconscious clot of ectoplasm, or that I now from itself I present? Well here, seems, began, died and saved itself, knowingly so many years practiced every night, falling asleep. Yet a bit... But how difficult... Feet! Now main not to meet to the various fishermen of the souls, or by the representative of what that was not offices. I sinned in life or no, but voluntarily to give itself on somebody's court - discharge.
Around darkness. A body is not present, but there is consciousness, and there is darkness, well here and we will check, whether rights I was, that all conscious life considered itself dark.
Darkness is everywhere, in the whole worlds and measuring. She never disappears, retreating in the secluded corners in the day-time and blossoming in complete force at night. Sheis many-sided and shoreless. Each, who adjoins with her, can feel her soft, cool, quiet force, hear her whisper in ears, to feel a strange slackness in a body, freedom of motions and unusual, but such sweet, as though after meeting with sweet one, easy shaking of reason.
And now I need to become her part, to dissolve in this many-sided stream, done by the brook of darkness. Mainly, that it was then succeeded to become separated from, but already in the necessary to me world. Feeling of her force, gently enveloping that now replaced a body to me, like cool thick air, covered all my nature...
A moment is long in endlessness. It is needed rather to make decision, while yet an insignificant mortal desperately appealing and opening the soul interesting her.
Hope.
Someone said, as though all, that it can be invented by human reason, somewhere exists necessarily. And, in the endlessness of the inhabited worlds it is possible to find and those, that were described by earthly authors. I hope that it really so. Here now and we will check.
To be continued...