Living with a friend: paradise or hell? Here are 5 pros and 5 cons to help you make this difficult decision
Moving in with a friend
It's the moment of the big jump: you go to live alone, or you have to leave the apartment where you have lived in recent years, in both cases you need a roommate or a roommate. What better occasion to kill two birds with one stone (house + roommate) and move in together? Eh.
Living together is not as simple as it might seem and instead risks proving to be a real hell, ruining the friendship. You know that the recipe for happy coexistence is complex, so read carefully the 5 reasons why going to live with your friend is like making jackpots and the 5 reasons why you should absolutely avoid it.
Then, since we are really very good, we have also added 5 rules to make living with your best friend work (how much magnanimity!)
If you decide in the end that you don't want to live with a friend, don't despair: remember that true friendship resists time and distance.
5 advantages of living with your best friend:
- You already know the pros and cons. You've been friends for a long time, you and her, so you know what kind of character she has and why she "fits" so well with yours. Consequently, for better or for worse, you already know what to expect and you don't have to fear the surprise effect of the unknown roommate.
- Accept his little manias (and vice versa). Each one of us has his own fixed ones. There are those who are crazy about order and cleanliness, those who do not tolerate noise, those who walk around the house only with their skates. You have yours and she has her own, you know them, you have probably experienced them on the road and it suits you well, despite everything.
- You know who she frequents. Maybe you have in common with your friend of friends, or even if you do not attend the group with which you usually goes out, you find them nice people and do not risk finding yourself in the house, at dinner, a group of complete strangers.
- You're used to his schedules. Does he always work the small hours and sleep until noon? Does he get up very early and at 9 p.m. he has his shutters down? It's convenient to know the rhythms of life of the person you live with, especially because it avoids complex overlaps.
- You know you have a friend always on hand. For better or for worse your friend is with you, you just knock on her room to get the comfort you're looking for. Did an exam go wrong? A job interview? Did your partner leave you? She is there, in the room at the end of the corridor or next to yours with the right sentences to console a friend.
5 reasons not to live with your best friend:
- Do you really know its strengths and weaknesses? You never stop to really know a person and during the cohabitation you may find that your dearest friend has a hidden side, maybe a side not exactly pleasant.
- If something goes wrong, friendship is at risk. If you quarrel with your best friend you suffer more than if you quarrel with any other roommate and the discussions can inevitably have repercussions on the friendship.
- You just don't like her boyfriend. This would be a big problem anyway (always better than the friend who gets engaged and forgets about you), but knowing that having her 24/24 in the house you catch him too, well, it will not be nice to say, but it's a big trouble! Maybe he thinks he's nice to you too...
- It's harder to tell her things. Something has bothered you. A comment from him, something out of place, a change in the decor or layout. We are perhaps not at the level of the tube of toothpaste squeezed badly (hopefully!), but when you get angry about something may be more difficult to make it known to your friend roommate, rather than to the roommate tout court
- You can't mind your own business whenever you want. You want to be in peace and instead...she has a problem and so you have to listen to her; she doesn't like to eat alone and wants to make conversation. Your space alone is in danger of being greatly reduced.
5 rules to make living with a friend work:
- Tolerance from both. Try to be available and open. If she does something that bothers you or maybe has a habit that doesn't belong to you but works very well for her, try to tolerate it if it doesn't impact too much on your life.
- Sincerity without aggression. To keep quiet when something bothers you is only harmful, you risk accumulating endlessly and then exploding (with devastating results). Make a commitment to always say things to her in the face, but without attacking her as if she had done something with malice
- Respect for the agreements. If you agree to the cleaning, who does it and on what days, respect what you have established. If you can't, and you have to have a valid justification, notify her first and work to remedy it.
- Respect for privacy. It is sometimes difficult to understand that even your dearest friend needs her space. Do not look for her obsessively; if you see that she wants to be on her own, leave her alone; do not enter her room without permission, when she is not there, or without knocking, if she is at home.
- Pleasure of sharing. Exchanging things is fun, but it can sometimes get on your nerves when your closet moves into his. Apart from these extreme exceptions, however, living together is also sharing, so: accept that sometimes something is not available, that she uses your shampoo if it is finished, that she gets something to eat that you bought. On the other hand, the other person should: warn you, buy back what she has finished not to finish your products, take turns shopping.