Moms of teenagers: a Collective interview Blogs Mom. Part 3

Puberty, puberty — what we have learned to associate hearing or reading the headlines with such phrases? So whether all difficult in deeds or yet another bloated theme? Where do gentle hugs and touching relationships with the child go, as soon as he crosses the invisible age line?

Recently, in an interview with Marina Keselowski, raised the topic of the relationship "parent — teen", and today we were asked to answer a series of questions of some moms from our community. In the first part of a collective interview their thoughts, knowledge and experience to share Broslavskaya Anna, Anna Ignateva and Yulia Lisitsyna.

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Hello, ladies. Thank you for responding to our proposal and answering our questions. We believe that each of your answers will resonate in the hearts of readers, will help to find the missing piece in the mosaic of mutual understanding. So, questions:

Please tell us about yourself and the children, how old are they?
What difficulties did you face, and what age of children became "transitional"for you?
How do you solve these problems?
What resources (books, movies, websites, etc.) can you recommend to other parents of growing children?
If you had a time machine at your disposal, how many years ago would you like to go back and change what? Or do not want to change anything?
Do you write about teenage children in your blog? Why do you think most mom blogs are dedicated to babies, and older parents, as a rule, do not tell?
Anna Braslavskaya, blog (LJ) Undisa
Anna Braslavskaya, blog (LJ) Undisa

Hi!

Perhaps you are already familiar with me from previous publications in the category heart-to-heart. Broslavskaya my name is Anna, I am 36 years old, I am a psychologist, wife and mother of 4 children: 2, 5, 11 and 15 years.

My teenagers are now 11 and 15 years old respectively. Theoretically, they are both in transition. I almost don't feel it.

Alla: what difficulties did you face and what age of children became "transitional"for you? How do you solve these problems?

Anna: the Elder, Andrei, has always been prone to isolation. Now, that quality has increased a little bit. That is, he became a little more zealous in guarding his borders. But I don't claim them. I perfectly understand that the son can not tell me everything-everything-everything not because of mistrust, but because it is important for him to dose the outgoing information.

In addition, for me the quality of emotional contact is much more important. Thanks to him, I'll be able to "count" with my son if something goes wrong. So I never "pick", do not arrange interrogations with bias, but work on relationships.

The main message that is important for me to convey to children is "You can come to me with anything. I'll take you anywhere. I love you always, no matter what happens.". And they know it's true.

Igor, on the contrary, always had an explosive character and a very difficult temper. In Waldorf tradition is considered, that in puberty type of temperament is changing on the opposite. And it seems to be true. 🙂 Our favorite hot-headed, it seems, becomes a cute phlegmatic. Sensitive, reasonable, a little philosophical. Yes, Igor is very emotional. But it does not compare with what it was in preschool age. So, we're honestly resting.

In addition, I have a suspicion that some part of the educational process takes over Andrew. They often whisper about something, discuss something, and I think it's good. 🙂

Anna Braslavskaya, blog (LJ) Undisa

Alla: what resources (books, movies, websites, etc.) can you advise other parents of growing children?

Anna: I would definitely recommend good pedagogical literature to Parents of younger children. Authors, such as, for example: EDA Le Shan, Neufeld, Faber and Mazlish, William Pollack, simultaneously.

From fiction: "the Republic of shkid", "Dinka", Waffle heart" ... I'll remember again, I'll write.

Movies: "the Club of dead poets"...will remember.

Alla: If you had a time machine at your disposal, how many years ago would you like to go back and change what? Or do not want to change anything?

Anna: I had a difficult adolescence. But I don't want to change anything.
I'm grateful for everything that happened.

Alla: do you Write in your blog about teenage children? Why do you think most mom blogs are dedicated to babies, and older parents, as a rule, do not tell?

Anna: I write little about my elders and post less of their photos for one simple reason, my children also read me in FB and Instagram. And their friends. And this is a separate big topic, I never thought I would face it. Because sometimes I want to put something that is not intended for them. Or comment. And, in General, I am an adult woman, I communicate in social networks with my friends. Nevertheless.

In addition, teenagers have their own opinions. And, for example, offended if I post their photos without asking. And now try to choose the photo that they like, yeah.

How about a post under your chosen photo? It is also heavily censored. And, in General, why you wrote under my photo about it?! Oh. Easier kids, really. And about kids safer. 🙂

To end this subject want one a memory from my adolescence.

As some know, with 9 class I studied in school, where Director of was my Pope. He also taught high school math. At that time, the school had a tradition: students of 11 classes took patronage over 9-graders. That is, the 9th and 11th grades communicated very tightly.

Now imagine. I was quite pretty, bright and, in General, popular. I was taken care of by boys from the 11th grade. And so, at one point all 11 B (of chefs) starts at the sight of me pohihikivali and push each other elbows. Then it's passed 11 In (the nest of my fans).

As it turned out, in class, my father told me how he swaddled me little, and "put a diaper under the ass." It was enough to stir the imagination of 2-11th grade. My feelings were ... conflicted. But lesson have on entire life. 🙂

Anna Ignateva, Blog happy everyday
Anna Ignateva, Blog happy everyday
Good afternoon, dear readers. My name is Anna Ignateva, I am the author of the blog "happy everyday".

We are still in early teenage way, my Allince 12 years. The girl is very enthusiastic, creative. In addition to secondary school, she also studies at the art school. Constantly in creative impulse and corresponding disorder.

Alla: what difficulties did you face and what age of children became "transitional"for you? How do you solve these problems?

Anna: there are no special Difficulties yet. Of course, there are some "charms" of this age — attempts to prove their case at all costs, but this is not a terrible phenomenon, we just try to talk differently, sometimes we have to "put in place" a little, but, in principle, I accept it with a smile, I remember that I myself was such.

We also have moodiness, tears almost in a vacuum, but Ali such a nature that such behavior is familiar to me long ago. I try to teach by example positive, the ability to see the good in everything.

All problems — big and small — I try to solve with the help of immersion. I remember myself at this age and try to look at the world through the eyes of a teenager. No matter what, I try to give my daughter a feeling of love, confidence that my mother will always be support.

Alla: what resources (books, movies, websites, etc.) can you advise other parents of growing children?

Anna: Remember the teenage child helped me a lot of the book Zhvalevsky Pasternak, they are very well highlights the problems of the modern teenager.

Alla: If you had a time machine at your disposal, how many years ago would you like to go back and change what? Or do not want to change anything?

Anna: I do not want to Change anything in my life, Yes, I believe that I have had and have some omissions, but these are my mistakes, my lessons, thanks to which I learned what I can and know now. So in a time machine, I would prefer to travel to a time that I did not find, in the distant past, so to speak, on a tour.

Anna Ignateva, Blog happy everyday

Alla: do you Write in your blog about teenage children? Why do you think most mom blogs are dedicated to babies, and older parents, as a rule, do not tell?

Anna: I write about my daughter, but still less. Now more and more posts with her that Ale came up and spent for the boys. But still write about her Hobbies, her art, educational projects, and a rare topic of education in the category "thinking moms" often relate in principle to all children. These topics include the last - on self-esteem.

But about the boys write more still. I associate this with the fact that the kids are always with me, we do a lot of things together, and my daughter is often on her own. I don't have photos of many of her activities, and it's hard to tell. Plus I left these topics to her for her own blog, but she gave it up, unfortunately.

As for other blogs, it is difficult for me to judge why they write more about kids, but it seems to me that this is due to the presence of several children in the family. The first grows up, becomes more independent, and the mother spends more time with the younger child, because more about him and writes. If same child one, or the younger becomes a teenager, then mother respectively will write about matured children.