I had a simple situation a few years ago, which I remembered at once, and showed how it happens. Once I lost my favorite sports jacket, thousands for 5-6 rubles. For me, at that time it was a tangible amount, and the purchase was successful - it fits well, and I liked it. But I was lucky to remember Alexander Palienko's covenants right away, and I thought: "So, something even better will come in her place," and immediately switched over and forgot. And really, then within six months, I bought three beautiful sports sweaters, but not black as before, and bright colors and models, which I have not yet had, and I liked them much more.
Would I like to sit with that old black sweater? No. Would I have found out that things could be different, would I have moved to another reality if I hadn't lost that one? No.
And how often (out of conservatism and ignorance) we resist loss, not wanting to think that they can lead us into a whole new world. Although the habit of looking back and analyzing our lives would show how often our lives were turned to a new, beautiful path and gave us a happier life from major losses and troubles. What was carrying us in the stream to the good, and we were threshing our hands on the water and trying to stop the stream, because we did not see what was around the corner, and it seemed to us that we knew better how to do it.
Very often, this shift to a new, better reality will not happen without loss. But it is difficult to remember this at the time of the disorder. And only habit, training of acceptance helps to pass through these processes more smoothly, without resistance to changes for the better.
How to accustom yourself to calmly treat losses?
1. Understand that you can do nothing, and there is no point in draining energy into a black hole.
2. To understand that you don't know a lot about how things will work out, and it's for the best for you.
3. Stop thinking linearly (that loss = loss and everything), everything is much more multi-dimensional, and sometimes loss gives multiplication of growth in times or in its place comes something larger and very pleasant.
4. To accustom yourself to quickly switch attention to something else and to let go, to score.
5. Believe and know that everything is not as scary as it seems at first glance and that in time you will learn to deal with everything easier.
This story is not about how to experience death and serious illness of loved ones. It's about everyday life situations, relationships, and mild to moderate illness. Also, it is not about how to scatter relationships and destroy them, bragging about the fact that I accustomed myself to quietly lose! And not about how to appropriate to yourself what you do not have yet (advance payment for the work not done, not yet completed the project, not yet come to your success), and when it passed you, say to yourself, "well, I know how to lose, I will take it easy. Initially, you don't have to appropriate what isn't yet your own - it's a separate, different habit!
The story of Thomas Edison
It's a beautiful story about taking casualties. In December 1914, Thomas Edison's laboratory was completely burned down. He was 67 years old at the time. The damage caused by the fire was huge! If you count it in money equivalent to date, you get an amount of about two million euros. Compared to that, the insurance amounted to a penny - something like two hundred thousand euros.
But that was not the worst thing. What is worse - the results of all his scientific research were lost. His work, his scientific works, his memories, his notes - everything burned down. In a couple of hours, his life's work was destroyed!
Edison's son was looking everywhere for his father. He was worried about how he would survive such a catastrophe. It turned out that Thomas Edison was standing near the fire and was quietly watching from a safe distance. He was completely calm and restrained. He looked at the ruins with a smile. The only thing he asked for was to bring his wife to him.
When she arrived, he told her very seriously: "Look, we've never seen anything like this in our entire lives. The disaster was very useful: all our mistakes were burned! Thank God we can start from scratch. Start from the beginning! "
Alexander Palienko spoke about the habit of quietly losing the following:
"The ability to lose and refuse. We all need to learn how to lose, refuse, die, switch, and be calm about what is not what we think is happening. And most of us are testing something that doesn't happen, something doesn't turn on, something's lost, something's broken, and it looks like it's all gone. Our task, in this case, is to thank, accept and agree that this should be the end of our lives. Even if it is very important, serious, interesting and we are not fed up with it. We need to train to lose. Always thank God for the loss of "this" (phone, money, connections, personal life, health, car). It's not easy and almost impossible at the beginning.
But believe me: God has no injustice. Everything happens in relation to the energy and value of the prescribed program - that is, it is logical, clear, concrete and timely. If we are stupid and do not give up something in time, associate ourselves with something and thus do not let go of what should have already gone - then we get the full program.
Learn to lose, refuse and leave what is no longer interesting. Live with feelings, not logic. If you think logically "what to do", you will drive a ten-year-old car, live with an unloved person, work at a horribly unpleasant job and so on. We need to always be "on the crest of the wave" and be able to give up everything that is old in order for new things to come."
Thank you for reading my article to the end!
The beginning is here: https://zen.yandex.ru/profile/editor/id/5d233fa7b15a9d00ad743d41/5d919b6e5eb26800ad0f9f7f/edit