Have you ever told a man about his transgressions and observed a negative reaction in response? Have you thought about how to tell the man that he is doing something wrong without stumbling upon a wall of misunderstanding and irritation on his part?
Are you tormented by the thought that the quarrel was caused by your wrong words and actions? Or, perhaps, you began to think that he needs a special approach and you are in despair?
In reviews of the articles I publish, women sometimes talk about their fear of telling men what I advise them to do. What if he doesn't react that way, and I find myself guilty! Perhaps you found yourself in such a situation.
In this article, you will have to learn how to tell a man that he is wrong and get a positive reaction.
Think about what it's worth telling a man
I'm always reminding you that communication is an essential component of a truly happy relationship. This is the foundation. The only undeniable fact is that we all have different expectations, points of view and even the languages in which we speak.
It is often said that women are more emotional and men are more logical when communicating. This may be true, but it is also true that men instinctively want to make their women happy and try their best to accomplish this task. Even if a woman feels that this is not the case.
These are not unqualified patterns. This is often the case. I am sure that every relationship is unique and requires some help in setting priorities at the outset. The future of your relationship depends on how you act at this stage.
Let's look at the following situation: after each meeting with ignorant or rude men (at least, they seem to be), women become more upset and less and less confident in the successful future of any relationship. The result is a cycle that looks like this:
- A man does not know how to make a woman happy because he does not talk about it;
- A woman gets tired of a man who doesn't make any effort to understand her, or at least try to find out how to do it. She also does not know how to tell the man about the painful one;
- The man feels hopeless and starts to move away from the partner, feeling that he cannot do anything right;
- the man or woman surrenders and leaves the question unresolved.
This cycle continues until one of them survives and refuses to continue the relationship, which has reached an impasse.
Who is to blame? The answer is simple - no one. It's just about ineffective communication within the couple.
Template change
So, how can we break this pattern? What can we say to a man so as not to provoke his negative reaction?
For example, how do you tell a man that you don't have enough attention, he didn't call on time and eventually came home late? You will most likely say so:
"I think you're ignoring me.
"Why didn't you call me when you promised?
"You should have told me you were going to be late.
It's not hard to say these words to a man. Also, most women use them every day with their loved ones, even though they don't realize they're making a mistake. In a man's understanding, you focus these phrases on the fact that he did something wrong. This humiliates him and has a negative impact on his self-esteem and attitude towards you.
How does he react in this case? Sometimes he is silent, sometimes he is hostile to you. But regardless of the type of reaction, he hears the same message: "You are unable to do it right. You are not responsible for your actions and words.
And what if you say the same thing to a man, but changing some accents?
For example, you can consider these options:
"If you don't answer me, I feel neglected.
"When you don't call, it makes me feel like I'm not important to you.
"When you don't tell me you're going to be late, I feel like you don't appreciate my time.
I guarantee you that in this case, you will get a completely different answer from him. There will certainly be no blurred silence or hostility.
The magic word
"To feel." There is some magic in this word. While communicating with a man, pay attention to how his reaction will change, when you tell him how his actions make you feel.
This will sound like a call to cooperation, not an offer to take up an aggressive stand.
It will encourage him to act instead of kneeling.
So he will feel that you are communicating with him, not pointing to his shortcomings.
That's the whole secret. Just one word!
How to tell a man a photo
Is that really it?
It may seem too simple - but it's true. When we (men) say we are the simplest creatures, we really mean it. We want to make you happy, but sometimes we need help and patience to figure out how to do it.
Therefore, the next time you disagree with his actions or words, do not point out mistakes and do not defend your point of view. It is better to try to understand how to tell a man that his actions make you feel like a certain way.
Now that you know what to say and what word to use to reach your loved one's heart, your relationship will have to take it to a whole new level.