Books and blogs on different aspects of mental wellbeing are becoming increasingly popular. More and more people are consciously and openly receiving psychotherapy. However, many people are still wondering, "Why go to a psychologist if I can talk about my problems with friends? The decision to seek specialist help is often not easy for us. A lot of fears and prejudices limit and stop us. For example, the fantasy that a psychologist is such a special person who is called upon to "correct" our mental health with special painful manipulations. Not that our favorite friends with whom we feel relaxed and happy. Of course, if we expect a "cunning" blow from a psychologist, there can be no trust and benefit of therapy and out of the question. How often after the first meeting the client literally "exhales" and says something like: "I was very nervous and afraid to come here," "Wow, not so terrible. I thought it would be much worse! The truth is that even though we may encounter unpleasant and intractable experiences in the course of psychotherapy, meetings with a psychologist, especially in the beginning, should not be at all painful. If you have any resistance to the idea of the next visit, it may be that this specialist is not right for you. There are a lot of psychologists and psychological approaches. You have a choice. Try to find someone to whom you will feel respected, in whose presence you will feel calm, comfortable, and who you could easily introduce as a good friend under other circumstances. Of course, your therapist cannot be your friend outside of the office in the conventional sense, but establishing a relationship of trust is an important condition for successful therapy.
So what is the difference between meeting a psychologist and a friendly, intimate conversation, and why can't a conversation with a loved one ever be a substitute for a specialist's help?
The main differences
1. TIME Within 50-90 minutes, once a week or two (depending on the arrangement), you, and only you become the main focus of attention - your own and your therapist's. This is a dedicated time without external interference or distractions. You don't have to worry about keeping your problems from the important business of your interlocutor, or "loading" them with yourself and your concerns, or taking up too much of their time and attention. You may not be afraid to voice your "strange" thoughts, seem crazy or selfish. You don't need to restrain your emotions, choose words, be afraid to cry and seem weak. Or be careful not to hurt your interlocutor's feelings: you may be angry, angry and just be yourself. Your psychologist will still be waiting for you next week to be with you again on your way to explore yourself
2. . 2. A good psychologist does not "close up" when meeting your dark sides, he or she does not turn away from you when confronted with your "complicated" or "shameful" manifestations. In friendship, there is always the possibility that some "hidden" features can lead to cooling if the friend is unable to understand and accept your "bad" traits. A professional therapist carefully helps you go this way in safety. You will gradually approach the most hidden fears and you will be deeply hidden and rejected personality traits. The psychologist will patiently guide you, will help to make a "map of the terrain" and will not allow you to go too far to avoid retraumatization. By working together, you will be able to safely experience unpleasant feelings, burn out and accept your own imperfections. And to become a more integral, harmonious person in the end.
3. CONFIDENTIALITY A really good therapist never tells anyone your secrets, secrets, and details of your life without your knowledge. This requires professional ethics. The psychologist may discuss your case with his supervisor (a more experienced colleague), but should warn you in advance and get your consent. The same applies to the use of your information in research or when writing a book, article, or blog post. You don't need to be afraid to discuss topics that you won't always risk revealing even to a close friend - envy of a friend's success, resentment for relatives, doubts in a partner, disappointment in a relationship - this won't "pop up" anywhere at the most inopportune moment and won't be used against you. In therapy, you can not only confess to these "uncomfortable" feelings, but also explore what is behind them, what needs to be addressed, and decide what you want to do about it.
4. THE 'OUTSIDE VIEW' You and your friends are probably "the same field of berry". Your experience, views, character traits, interests form a certain picture of the world, which inevitably influences the angle of consideration of the discussed problem. No matter how hard our friends try to help us analyze