What if you're worried? Of course, try to relax and calm down. But, it turns out, this is not the only way to combat anxiety. To be more precise, one of the six possible ways to fight anxiety is, as Michael Apter, the creator of the reversible theory of motivation, claims.
It turns out that the state of mind of each of us can be described as a combination of four pairs of opposites marked on the scheme. Only one state of the pair can be active at any given moment (for example, now you can be self-centred, and later - think more about others). Several states of different couples can be active at the same time (so, sympathetic to someone, you are in a state of empathy and orientation towards others).
ALL ON PAIRS
The first pair of states concerns the purposes and means, the second pair concerns the attitude to the rules, the third pair concerns interactions with people, and the fourth pair concerns relations.
Our perception of the same things can change greatly depending on which state is active. For example, in a conformist state, we regard clear rules and instructions as supporting, and in the opposite state - rebellious - as restraining. Or we can, being in a state focused on others, "enter into a foreign position" and "meet", and then mourn about our pliability and disregard for our own interests. This means that your condition has changed and now you are more focused on personal interests, i.e. the orientation towards yourself prevails.
SIX STEPS TO TRANQUILLITY
Let's identify all six ways to get rid of anxiety.
Relax the body.
Whether you're doing yoga, breathing your stomach or imagining yourself in a quiet place, as prescribed by common stress management techniques, we're starting to feel better. There are many ways to lower the level of nervous system arousal: yoga, autogenic training, deep breathing or just a cup of herbal tea.
Treat with passion.
You can, while maintaining a high level of excitement, switch to a paraplegic state. Then high arousal will be a source of positive, not negative emotions. For example, you were asked by the end of the week to prepare a presentation of your direction, and you do not like, do not know how to do it and do not know what to say. You can look at the situation in this way: to make a presentation in three days, even though you are not special in them, and no one else cancelled your work - a worthy challenge. And you will certainly do it, the only question is how. Interesting?!
Shift the focus.
At the same time, several states of different pairs can be active. And even if we are now focused on the target state, if we take a closer look, we can find it, for example, conformist ("The boss said it means it's necessary"), superiority ("It's a big responsibility - so that no one can be charged with it") or self-orientation ("Oh, how many times have I been overwhelmed!"). Focus on a state that is out of focus at the moment. Think about the fact that you, as a leading specialist, are simply obliged to make this presentation (conformist), especially since nobody understands it better than you (superiority), and success in this mission can open up additional perspectives both for you personally (self-centred) and for the whole department (oriented towards others).
Find the ultimate meaning.
In addition to the unpleasant experiences (anxiety, confusion) caused by the fact that the task is complex, the stakes are high and everything is not as smooth as it would be desirable, the situation is probably associated with much more pleasant feelings and values. For example, understanding one's own significance or such value as professionalism.
Pay attention to them. Focusing on the complexities and possible negative consequences, we increase stress, try to delay the task, even if we firmly know that it will have to be accomplished.
When we think of higher values, we can find something of sufficient significance for us to continue moving forward, despite risks and obstacles. Yes, this particular task may not be very satisfying for you, but it is part of a larger process. And there is an important reason why you are involved in this process.
Remember the parable of the three masons. All three of them were engaged in the same work in the same workshop, but the first one could not bear it, the second one was bored, and the third one was quite satisfied. And all because they focused on the goals of different levels: the first "cut the stones", the second "earned money to feed his wife and children", and the third "participated in the construction of the temple.
Refuse to complete the task.
If you are so worried about the task, it can be avoided. Say that you are overwhelmed with work, or that you will make slides and write a speech and let Masha speak, or that Vasya understands it much better, let him do everything. Or you can say that you are sick, you can just "wiggle out and forget", accept the reprimand and loss of the bonus. These are far from the best options, but still, it makes sense to remember that they are. Do not abuse them, but sometimes the nerves are really more expensive.
Determine the optimal tactics.
In our example, this is to find out what needs to be done to make the presentation successful. What kind of slides should be? What to do so that the audience does not get bored? Are there any ways to get the audience to their place at once?
When choosing your own way of fighting anxiety, try to understand what state you are in and what direction you would like to move in.
CHEAT SHEET
Every time you feel anxious about something, run through this simple scheme. I'm sure you'll find a lot of options that you haven't thought about.
RELAX: Use any relaxation technique you like.
REFERENCE: Distract from the result and consequences and let what you do take you in.
LOCK FOCUS: note which other unmotivated states are active and try to focus on them.
REMEMBER ABOUT A HIGH PURPOSE: Are there any feelings or values that can "overshadow" your anxiety?
AWARE: Is there any way to avoid or at least temporarily distract yourself from this situation? (Do not abuse this way.)
SELECT TACTIC: Think about and stick to the modus operandi that will help you best cope with the situation.