I was sitting at the place for a week listening to the couple's dialogue. It felt like she was looking for a reason to disagree with her man every 20 seconds.
It made me sick inside and hurt at the same time. As a true gentleman, he smoothed the corners, was extremely gentle and positive. And the more the girl argued, the more the man included acts of care, like a very kind daddy, calming his three-year-old daughter, who had never seen her live before.
Let's think about it.
Why do women argue?
They want to be right.
What are the benefits of being right? A sense of importance, a small victory.
What is a victory? It is when there is a winner and a defeated one.
Do you agree?
How many times a day do you see women arguing with men, proving something, trying to be right? A lot.
Once I calmly asked one girl: "Tell me, why are you arguing? It was felt that she was thinking about it for the first time in her life: "Uh, well, how come? Simple. What's the big deal?
Stop now for a moment and hear my voice: "You. Right!"
You.
You're right.
What do you feel? I'm high. Satisfaction. Pleasant warmth inside. Is that right?
But there are only a few details...
Something that gives us a pleasant emotion isn't always good for us.
Emotions vs. Benefits.
I love sweets and would eat them with pleasure every day, and especially before bedtime. And in a moment I would feel an indescribable feeling when I bite the Raffaello. One evening I had five raffles, the second, third, and third class. But I'm afraid that in a month I'd be upset looking at my figure...
It turns out that at the moment it is good, but in the long run - not profitable.
The same is true of disputes with men. This can bring pleasure to women, but over time, the attitude of a man to such a lady becomes, to put it mildly, not pleasing to her.
Now I'm working with a personal CrossFit coach. I think I have something to argue with him about because in the amateur sport I'm not the first year. But why should I do it? What are the benefits? It is much more profitable to trust him, to let him show his skills to me for the good.
The skill of a man in a relationship with a woman - is to be strong, necessary, attentive, hearing. Every time you argue with a man, you kill that skill in part. Or when you agree with his decision, point of view - increase the male destination.
This applies not only to the psychology of relationships between men and women in love. But also at work, for example. A woman can build a career easier. Getting helpers, not rivals. Again, many of my blog articles will help.
I'm not saying that from now on you have to be a woman without an opinion. This is another extreme. And there is a golden mean. Ask yourself the question: why do I want to prove something now? To taste the victory or maybe it will be more profitable for me to look at the situation through the eyes of my opponent and accept his point of view?
Let me put it this way...
99% of disputes are empty, meaningless, just a habit. For the taste of victory. But then there is the defeated one. And if the defeated is a man who came to be useful to you? And instead of allowing him to realize this usefulness, women do so: "No, no way. Let's fight! And then: "Men transferred. There are no decent ones.
I myself was an amateur of betting, until one of the training sessions, I learned about the magic technique: "You're right.
-Yaroslav, your articles are not very
-Yeah, you're right.
(for this man, my "threesome" articles, and he's right in his case)
-Men are irresponsible and weak
-You're right. -You're right.
(this woman behaves in such a way that she attracts such men and repels the strong. She is right).
-All women are mercenary.
-You are right (a man shows himself in such a way that women only need money from him or attract initially purely materially oriented ladies. He is right).
I'm not arguing. I don't waste precious energy for a fake sense of victory.
A task.
(Only for those women who understand that they have come to this world to enjoy and be a muse)
Pick up the phone.
Find the man you love most in your contacts.
Write: "Honey, I'm sorry I was arguing with you then. You were right. I kiss the smartest man in the world :)
And don't be surprised if you get flowers the next evening. Everything in this world is natural. Especially the psychology of relations between men and women.