You've met an interesting man, you've started to communicate. But sometimes you wonder if you have made the right choice. We suggest you make a puzzle and determine how stable your union is. Perhaps it is this person who appeared in your life for a reason.
WHAT ROLES DO WE PLAY?
We all played a role in our own family as children ("parents' hope", "family problem" and so on). Having become adults, we, without realizing it ourselves, start to play the same role concerning people here and there. Have you noticed it? Whether we are comfortable or not, this is a habit, and we, without realizing it, seek to "settle" in a relationship in a familiar way. That's why mysteriously new acquaintances often treat us the same way as our relatives treated us. These people respond to our "signals". An increasingly important relationship in our lives is not accidental. Let us remember our friends, our enemies. Somehow, of all people, we "chose" each other, and we have an emotionally charged relationship. Because we "helped" each other again to experience some very important familiar feelings, to find ourselves in a familiar relationship again. The style of these relationships has developed in our families, so we and these people complement each other in a certain way. It is also no coincidence that love, a passion for the opposite sex, is involved. There is not a single random novel and not a single random marriage. Somehow it is customary to think that falling in love is a matter of chance. "Love is evil", - whom we fell in love with, and that we will fall in love. But it means that this person was (maybe for some unconscious reasons) needed. And it is not by chance that an affair eventually leads or does not lead to marriage. It is not by chance that the marriage turns out to be emotionally safe or not, it is saved for the whole life or it breaks up.
HOW DOES ONE CHOOSE A PARTNER?
When we meet a person of the opposite sex and we like him or her, it means that we can play a familiar role in the relationship by repeating our familiar behaviours. Because he complements us with his behaviour and the role he is willing to play. For example, one person (let's say a man) grew up in a family where he was habitually exploited. He was taught "not to be selfish" and always sacrificed his interests for the sake of others. Of course, not all family members did the same. (Otherwise, who would need his endless sacrifices?) This man meets the "woman of his dreams" and they are drawn to each other like a magnet. The woman is brought up as a "family idol", she is selfish, demanding in relations with close people and prone to exploitation. The relationship between a man and a woman turns out to be unhappy at the beginning, but they feel that they cannot do without each other. Perhaps they will get married, and then they will have children in their family who will learn that in close relationships they can either be exploited or exploited. In this case, a man who is willing to give endlessly and a woman who is willing to take endlessly have found each other. How did this happen? For simplicity, let's present a choice in the form of a puzzle. Here are two people who only want to take in a relationship: You see that the fragments of the puzzle do not coincide. And these people will never attract each other. Everyone will quickly realize that the partner will not give them anything. But there are two people who only want to give: These fragments of the puzzle do not coincide either. And these people will not arouse each other's interest. Sometimes they ask: why? We met two such good people, would be happy together. Because everyone will not be able to do what they are used to: give. There is no one to take it. They both can't take it. But there are two opposites. As in the example above. Or vice versa. Selfish man will always find a woman who is ready for sacrificial behavior. And the notorious "fox" will always find a man she can exploit. So: There is a coincidence here, and such people find each other all the time. But it will be an unhappy couple. The eternally giving partner will accumulate resentment, because he does everything for the other person, and his care is simply taken for granted, without any visible return. In the soul of such a person usually silently hopes that the partner one day will understand what a treasure he got, and will be grateful. Sooner or later he will talk about his resentment, and then the "taking" partner will be offended. Most likely, he will feel that he is being picked on. At first they fell in love with him as he is, and now, you see, he is a bad one. Sometimes such a person just doesn't know that others also need something. Then he simply will not understand the reasons for dissatisfaction and will write everything down on the bad character of the partner. We see that the coincidence of fragments of the puzzle has led to the emergence of an unhappy union. This is often the case, and people in poor couples, in fact, "fit" each other no less than people in couples who are happier.