It was in 2017. I was on the phone with my friend Angelica. She works as the chief architect on the project of territory breakdown (houses, parks, streets) in New Moscow, in one large company.
As you can imagine, who would not be appointed to such a position? And Angelica works well. As an architect, she is smart; I know what I'm saying. Then, Angelica, she is a transsexual (on hormones, but so far only BEFORE surgery). And she is no longer 30 years old, not even 40 years old. So imagine what it feels like for her - to correspond to her inner gender self-perception. Extremely difficult! Transition from an adult man - a thing and heavy, and even dangerous. But how can you deceive yourself all your life?
Angelique has to go to this organization in a hated male image, because the organization is serious, and her documents are still male. She has only a certificate in her hands... Yes, she has already passed the commission for changing the documents to women's ones. And here you probably imagine how she looks like a man - a transsexual over 50 years old, a few years on hormones! To put it mildly - unusual. It is difficult to get into the image from which you are "sausage" and from which you run so expensively as hormone therapy and surgery ... Change jobs? Well, well, it's easy to say, especially now ... Two sons of 12 and 14 years old live with their ex-wife (their mother), who need help (and Angelica, although she left for obvious reasons, still does not leave them and contains); a rented apartment, debts, and the entire charming set of modern Russians ... That's how it works. So what is the question, ask?
- Okay, my boss asked me about my appearance today," Angelica told me. - And I kind of turned on the fool. He clearly said that I look strange: a feminine face with traces of makeup ... In general, he said that it's time for me to quit with comedies and masquerades. Then we discussed one object of work, and he asked me again why I was wearing women's perfume. I said they excite me more... and then the boss said that the human resources department offered to consider my dismissal...
- It's transphobia! - I was outraged. - And someone says she is not in our country?!
- Everyone sits here in their own hole and is silent. All the tremors of the thrill!!! This is my third dismissal. Say, what's the use of trembling? Even if I'm reinstated at work - do you see the point of working there? I don't want to be poked with a finger. This wave will wash me away. Yes, about the certificate - the boss was awesome when I showed it to him ... I could barely hold back in the office not to cry, and then in the bathroom crying ... - Angelica frankly.
- I'm tired of fighting over the ice," Angela continued. - Tomorrow I'll put on my favorite dress, makeup, clean myself up and go to work like that! Let them see! - My friend sighed a sigh. - That's what I do in the morning? I get up, I put on my face, hide my tattoo, then draw thick eyebrows... And then I put on this men's French, shoes and food for work. I'm tired of living like this, or rather not living!
Miracles happen
Little by little, you have to learn how to assert your rights. In my group I published this story, a story about a transgender woman, the main architect of the project in New Moscow, who was going to be fired because of her "strange appearance". I wrote to some of my acquaintances, both activists and LGBT lawyers.
That same evening she was written, then called, offered help, calmed ... taught how to behave. And they promised that they would take over the case, if anything.
A day later, the happy Angelica called me. Tell me how the day after we talked, she came to work as a woman in a dress and didn't hide. Everyone in the office was in shock.
- And I just came in and said hello to everyone. Then I went to the chief. The one with his mouth open. I told him to write a statement? Or did something change? He sat there, sat there, then closed his jaw and asked how? Who are you? I say I am Lika Nikitina. By passport, Alik, your architect. Silence again. Then the following exclamation came: FANTASTICA!
- AND??
- I took a vacation for 2 weeks to replace the documents!
- So you are not fired?
- NOT ANYMORE!! THE CHIEF SAID THAT IN PRINCIPLE, SEX IS NOT IMPORTANT, WORK IS MORE IMPORTANT. Of course, I just wrote an application for leave without pay for personal reasons. He signed silently
Angelica's confidence in the fluids must have punctured the director's transphobia. More precisely, he wasn't even transphobic himself, he was just not self-confident, weak, under pressure from the HR department. And her confidence was based on possible help from LGBT people.
- When you went into battle, did you feel like you were not alone? - I asked Angelica.
Angelica thought about it:
- Thank you to all our friends. It's a good thing I didn't drive into the wall. I had this idea too...
That's it, folks! A living example of real help to a man! It's also for those with foam in their mouths that we don't have any transphobia; and in a good sense of the word - and for all of us, my dear.
...It's been more than two years already. Angela changed her documents, retired like a normal woman, and left Moscow. She lives in her homeland.