Why don't men get married? Why doesn't a man offer to marry? What is the stumbling block?
This article is like an X-ray of male thinking. And most importantly - you will understand where the roots of this very thinking.
In this case, a broad theme - how to get married. One of its aspects is why men don't marry, why men don't offer to marry.
And here we will consider only the reasons and reasons for this one aspect. I'm sure many people will find it useful.
And in the next articles, I will close other aspects of the exciting topic of how to get married.
Shall we get started?
Does not offer to marry
Why is that? (Laughs)
Example of others
Starting with the family where the man grew up. What is the relationship between parents? This is the first thing that makes a conclusion about marriage as a future man. If the relationship in the family were not harmonious, then he has a head understanding: and why to marry, if everything will be then just as bad?
And vice versa, if the parents were all right in a relationship, the man looks at marriage adequately.
On the strength of influence follows the example of friends, TV, movies, etc. We often hear jokes, as if jokes, that marriage is difficult, it's work, do not get married in any case, why do you need these problems ... All this has a huge impact. And I would even say suggestion.
Fear of responsibility
Most men associate responsibility with negative emotions.
A 9-year-old boy, Serezha, decided to help his parents carry one of the heavy packages from the supermarket. As a result, the package broke out of his son's hands and a glass bottle of milk broke.
Parents broke it. After all, milk is very necessary to prepare breakfast the next morning.
Does Serezha want to take responsibility again [so far minor]? Hardly. After all, at the subconscious level, he now has a bundle: responsibility = criticism, negativity, etc.
I would rather not take responsibility at all, then I am not being violated.
Lack of responsibility = everything is normal.
If parents reacted calmly, allowing their son to correct the situation himself, it is already the education of a man.
A man is not one who is not mistaken, but one who takes responsibility, acts, makes a mistake, corrects himself and goes on.
How do you think the majority of boys [without understanding it] are brought up in the Russian-speaking space? That's where the legs grow from.
Men don't want to marry... They don't want to take responsibility.
t's too early.
Or hyper responsibility.
That is, the man clearly understands that he is responsible for the prosperity of his family and future children. And he thinks it's too early: he hasn't earned money on the Porsche, he hasn't bought an apartment.
"That's when I achieve a good level of development, then I will safely marry.
For example, I have similar fears about children.
I grew up in a lack of material (although this is not the main thing). Because of this, parents often quarreled. And until I get the confidence that my children will live in need of nothing, it will be a difficult step for me to have a child.
Looking ahead, I will say that this male fear of a woman can "turn" in women's favor.
Fear of losing freedom
It's very important for men to be needed. And at the same time feel free (instead of a "cage"). Women are often overrepresented, showing need and giving love.
"Strangled with her love" (c)
Most men associate marriage with the loss of freedom. With some restrictions. He will no longer be able to spend so much time with friends, devote his hobbies and development.
After all, now there will be an official wife who has the right to infringe on male freedom. And then there will be children.
And if a woman during the relationship somehow restricted the freedom of men, what will happen after the marriage?
Where are you?
Who are you with?
Why didn't you answer the phone?
I don't want you to go with your friends.
etc.
The more a woman limits a man, the more a man wants to "break the rules".
Fear of making a mistake
A man gets married, it takes time, and then it turns out it was a waste. That is, initially a man doubts and thinks that he can meet someone better.
As to marry for the man is a choice for long years, and can and for all life. And you don't want to realize the mistake of the decision after a couple of years of marriage.
A man considers it normal for a couple to live together in a common-law marriage and "look" at each other. Another thing is that it is often delayed by the N-th terms and grows into the next reason № 6.
Does not see the difference
If women perceive marriage as a guarantee from a man, for some men it is just a stamp in their passport.
"Everything is fine with us," says the man. "Then why this officiality, wedding, etc.?
In other words, the man is comfortable and everything is fine.
And now my favorite part of asking questions.
Women! You learned about the main reasons why men do not get married.
Now answer yourself, or better yet, write to yourself:
Does your behavior with a man brighten up or aggravate these very men's doubts, fears, thoughts of marriage?
Do you always allow a man to make decisions and take responsibility?
If a man-made a mistake, how do you behave?
Is the man next to you grow financially?
Do you limit a man's freedom?
What are their hobbies?
How much time do you spend with your friends?
And the main question is: what are you like for a man (and for yourself separately)?
Joyful, often dissatisfied, all in yourself, irritated, tired, smart, happy, your version (preferably in the commentary, you can have a few adjectives).
Total:
Now you know the fundamental reasons why men do not marry and do not offer to marry.
Examples of others, fear of responsibility, early (or hyper responsibility), fear of losing freedom, fear of making a mistake, does not see the difference.
And you, women, have a choice to strengthen these fears of men, thereby delaying the likelihood of marriage, or conversely, to influence the relationship positively. What do you choose?