CHILDREN AND MONEY
Do you imagine a child who, over and over again, receives a certain kind of micro signal from a parent? "It's okay, there's plenty of money" or "we need it all the time, even if it's just been paid". Every time a child sees something nice to his heart and available for money, that's where the story unfolds. Whether a mother sighs or not, what her face looks like, whether she says something - all this determines what kind of story we will have with money as an adult.
WHAT INFLUENCES A CHILD'S PARENT'S SIGNALS?
BACKGROUND
In many ways, we share a common history. It's about being on the run in the twenties of the 20th century ("no matter how many mines can be taken away", "it's dangerous to be rich, not only taken away, but also killed"). About the poor life before the Great Patriotic War, about the loss of what was gained in the war, about the post-war survival. About Stalinism, when it was deadly dangerous to stand out with something, and income, too. About a slightly safer period in the sixties and eighties, but also permeated by the fear of "coming". About the inaccessible luxury of the eighties - nineties, shops of imported goods "Birch", farmers with jeans and leather jackets. Money may have been, and it was difficult to spend it on quality things. About shop tours and the markets on a boundary of XXI century: it has flooded, a choice, take, never such was! About the gangster period of division of everything, "brothers", "If you want to do business - share it". About how the market is becoming more and more cultural, with new common traditions of consumption. Hypothesis: It is possible that the author of the question has some story about a great-grandmother-countess, who buried the coins when she fled abroad in 1917, and a family refrain: "Here she saved up, and could have spent and lived in poverty, but who knew.
. The family history of each family is woven into these general historical patterns, and each family has its own troubles, losses, and achievements. About buying food for the last money in the blockade. An uncle who traveled abroad but never brought in a Barbie, though very much requested. About my grandmother, who did not know what she was saving for, and then fell ill with cancer, and it is good that the money was there. About the fact that my father was doing speculation and nobody could tell about it because he went to prison and you were in a children's home. And then they allowed it, and now it's a legitimate business. And if you have any questions for yourself on the subject of money in principle - be sure to look at the family history. You are affected by everything that you have been told or allowed to know by yourself. It is in family stories that there are answers to what kind of money handling contributes to survival, and what is considered dangerous from this point of view. Hypothesis: you can look for a story about how someone wanted to spend, but for some reason could not.
They take their roots in family and shared history. It is not our parents who are so "not far away" that they were guided by certain ideas. These ideas were based on survival strategies that would help to preserve the life and status of the family and each of its members. For almost a century, the general attitude was negative: "A rich man cannot be honest," "Poor but proud," "All the evil of money," "Money goes only to hard work," "Why waste it, and so will we do. Many people were focused on saving, modesty, and respect not for money. Now I can recall the difference in positive attitudes regarding money. If you are familiar with them - write in the comments. A grown-up child can follow the guidelines or resist them. If they are found and not thought through, they act underground, at the level of "program". Then you may not understand why you are letting everything go or, on the contrary, saving up by denying yourself what you need. Hypothesis: the author of the question can look in the direction of "rebellion" against the attitude of modesty and poverty.
TRADITIONS
Every family has a monetary tradition. They are tied to installations. For example, to buy a cake after the salary. Declare "austerity mode" when money becomes scarce. To take/lend. But if the child cries. But if you feel guilty. And a couple of dozen more within one family. Hypothesis: you can look for stories when the tradition and unexpected behavior of parents were "bent". For example, the child knew that an austerity regime had been announced, but the mother suddenly bought a new bag (for example, by going with the seller). Or the last money was used to set a wide table for unexpected guests.
Legendary legends are elements of history, but special, bright. As for the money in the family, it is necessary to have it. The legend may be about a waste that could not be afforded, but it happened. And here the context is important: judging, admiring, approving, calm or indignant? The details of the story are also important: who spent the money on what (and for whom). The function of such stories is to teach the child "how (not) to act if you (do not) want to...". When you can find such a story in your psychological work, it becomes clear. Sometimes the grown-up child behaves as a "spender" of it, and sometimes - "does the right thing". And in both cases, he or she may experience a whole range of feelings.