Hello! We get along ten years, the child is six years old, because the mother always forced us to have another boy, make my relationship with my mother deal with very bad, for the mother asked to have children, I also public very helpless, unable to persuade the mother, but it can not be denied that it really affects my feelings with my husband, More importantly, my wife and I are generally just the Cold War, but my husband has never done mediation in the middle, in his opinion, these things only we can solve, but I do not think so, but no matter what we just can not agree on the views, slowly words are less and less, even between two people completely no private words,My husband thinks I never accepted his mother, and I told him: I want to deal with this relationship, but I also want you to work with me. But he always believed that I alone could solve it.I'm helpless. My husband should be a career type person, and very self-discipline, but I recently found that he and his colleagues (subordinates) have a relationship, I do not know how to do?
In addition to the above, I think my husband in other aspects or good. The mood is complex, do not know how to use a shortlist of words, I hope you can see. But also look forward to enjoying your pay bill chat service, what way to contact you?
Autumn heart reply：
The root of the problem comes from the fact that your mother-in-law wants you to give birth to one more boy. In Guangzhou, a child born in excess of one will be fined more than 200,000, in addition, they will lose their jobs. If you can afford the consequences, you might as well tell your mother-in-law that if your fine family can afford it and your work is not affected by it, you will be prepared to have a good life, so that the problem will come to your husband-a fine, a couple of unemployed, the person who needs to face it most, and then, naturally, he will find a way to persuade your mother-in-law to give up the idea. Of course, it's a bit risky to get rid of the problem, and if they're willing to accept the consequences, you have to have one more, but there are times when women are sacrificing a little more for the sake of their cherished marriage.
Men in the human aspect, usually mature enough men fast, because their way is more direct, your husband obviously does not know how to help you to establish a good relationship between the daughter-in-law, therefore, can only start from your own. If a woman expects his marriage happiness, regulate the relationship between wife and daughter-in-law is fundamental, because the mother-in-law is the husband's mother, for him, the hands and hands are all flesh, if the long-term wife and his mother are bad relations, they eventually give up will only be his wife, because such contradictions will make themTherefore, wise woman, do not work against mother-in-law, even if dissatisfied, even difficult to very harmonious, at least on the surface, to keep the peace, the old man is like a child, buy some small gifts, say something nice to coax, slowly will not be so difficult to get along with, do not because of the stubborn thought I want to admit defeat, dear, you are not to a mother-in-law to admit defeat, this is only your business marriage wisdom, to a senior comity, won a happy marriage, is not worth it?
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Autumn, Hello! My husband and I have been married for five years, our children are three and a half and our in-laws live with us. My relationship with my in-laws is very bad because of the children. Often quarrel, every quarrel is because I raised their opinion on the question of their children, they refused to listen, they are very angry, almost every time they first quarrel. I felt that life was too oppressive, which means that at home I couldn't give any advice, I knew that they were very nice, that there was nothing in the house to complain about, that I had to turn a blind eye. It's about kids, I talk about science, and they're disgusted and think I'm denying them. They are all out of touch with this society, they are older, so they understand more, they are not wrong.
My husband used to be biased towards me, but he was afraid because his father was mean. So then we slowly ignore the contradiction, now, basically to his parent's side. To me, it was an extraordinary indifference. My heart is so cold now. But for the sake of the children, I have no other choice. I used to be able to adjust my mindset, but now I can't do anything about it. It was painful, and now, upon returning to the doorstep, it felt like a boulder had been crushed. It's not for the kids. I don't even want to go home. What am I supposed to do? Too, too depressing.
Autumn heart reply：
There is a real difference between the older generation and the new generation in terms of bringing children. To understand your distress, but more recommended that you change your mind to see the problem, the first thing to learn is to be grateful.
Think, if your in-laws don't help you with your children, what is the situation you are now? Ask a nanny to take them with you during the day, and you come back after work? Or are you a full-time mom?—- The malpractice of these two practices is greater, the other day, I saw some on the internet babysitter child abuse, step on the child's body video, people very sad, to know the child is not less sensible, with children is the need for a lot of patience, nanny is an outsider, not their own flesh and blood do not know the pain,
Their grandparents, no matter how they carry them, will at least not harm the child, and they will do their best to protect the child so that he can grow up healthy. Talk about your own full-time children, to be honest, every day I have contact with many distressed full-time mothers, at home with children and social disconnect with her husband lose common topics, but also the lack of income in the passive position in marriage, but also because every day at home by children, no time to improve their own at from these two aspects, you should be grateful that the old man is not afraid of hard share your responsibility as a mother, you know, now the society, the old man does not have to help you with the children, they have worked a lifetime, many old people have chosen their own to enjoy themselves, to help you with is the human hand,
Of course, it's not up to them, and hopefully, they're more scientific, and you can take a different approach, like giving them more words of thanks, and then proposing that would it be better? Or, if they don't listen, they may want to buy some parenting books or set up a parenting Journal at home to give them access to the science of parenting. If this does not work, you do not need to deny them, take time to take care of their own rest and nurture children is, for the growth of children, do not have to worry too much, before we, parents do not understand the scientific way, we are not the same healthy growth? The old man willing to help you share the continuation of life, to learn a different way to see things, Thanksgiving Heart Will Make You Calm, will also allow you to enjoy the warmth of the family, when you adjust, the views of the elderly and your husband's attitude, I believe will slowly get better.
In some cases, it is not necessarily right to insist on your own subjective consciousness. compromise is also wisdom.