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The article is subjective and expresses the personal opinion of the author.
I, like everyone else, want to raise my children hardworking and diligent. Idleness is not our value, especially when on a legal weekend you decide to watch a new series, and for some reason, the child sticks around. I do not want to grow a vegetable, honestly. Therefore, I use well-known methods to combat childhood laziness:
- curiosity (“I wonder how this notebook will look, but with the tasks solved?”);
- encouragement (“Faster clean up, faster sit down for lunch”);
- demonstration of the result of the work (“There will be a bow on this craft”);
- competitive element (“Well, who can run in a circle longer?”)
It turns out that all this does not work. And that's why.
For a child, the meaning of some activity and its benefits are not always clear.
Nothing works if you offer a child a useful business. But at the same time, the child himself is ready for hours to do things that are useless, incomprehensible, mysterious. For example: sawing wood shavings, filling an empty plastic bottle with them, inserting a rod into it, wrapping everything with tape, and wrapping the same bottle on the other side of the rod - and rotate this thing over your head with a song.
I conduct language lessons at schoolchildren in family education, and immediately see when interest in cases decreases. Then the second-graders begin - no, not to be lazy, but to tape their fingers with adhesive tape, make origami, and some make a handstand. Without any compulsion! Just because we are talking about some boring nonsense.
The conclusion suggests itself: children are not lazy at all, they are ready for a lot, but this business should be significant. Do not cases, but stand, not play scales, but clap a piece of iron on a puddle. If we cannot prove that there is something in scales that even remotely resembles “iron in a puddle” - then we have to tight.
Scientists from the Massachusetts University of Technology and the School of Business in Chicago in their study showed that the meaning of the activity is important so that no one gives up. But we need to get used to the fact that for children “memorize a table, this will open up more opportunities for you in the future” is not an argument at all to work hard.
I tried to reformulate the task: “By the table, we will wipe our sister’s nose”, “If you quickly pronounce the words from the table backward with closed eyes, you can call the devil”, “Can you write this from the jetpack, which you make from an oatmeal box? It will be beautiful. ” Who would have thought that my child and I had different ideas about the beautiful.
Children are already overloaded. And doing nothing (sometimes) will only do good
All these satchels and spells, of course, are nonsense. How will this help my child in the future? His peers are constantly learning languages, training in coding, doing this ... like her ... project activities and leading diaries, which painstakingly write down the successes for the current week. We begin to drive the child in 32 sections (but no, in 33 - there is still a gap between botany and mental arithmetic!) And we stuff it with phrases from motivators. Well, those that people put on their page when they are too lazy to work with a running woman in a sweaty T-shirt: “It is important to go to the goal, never give up and don’t give up anything at all!”
It’s as if we are afraid that the children will have time to just sit and look out the window. They're just at that time, the river of eternity flows into the distance
The unforgettable comedian George Carlin complained that now the children have no way to just sit with a stick, just do a “fucking stick fucking hole.” You look at the hole. You look at the stick. And a little rejoice. "
In order to calmly see a child who has a stick in his hands instead of a diary, you need to be a very strong and calm person: “Well, daughter, now you play with a stick, then you move on to logic tasks, and after 40 minutes we have a vocal studio.” Or does it just seem to me that there is no place for a stick in this chart?
Meanwhile, from the point of view of science, this is a useful lesson. It doesn’t matter what you strive for: to raise a child happy or successful, or even a basketball player, he needs the so-called “passive brain operation”. Research psychologists Mary Helen Immordino-Young, Joanna Kristodulu, and Vanessa Singh believe that immersion in dreams, thoughtful looking at flying dust particles and other diffuse states play a crucial role in the development of social skills. Scientists put people in an MRI scanner, where they needed to rest, without focusing on anything. It turned out that it was not in vain that they spent time: they activated brain systems, important for the formation of memories, fantasies about the future, as well as departments responsible for social assessments and moral connotations.
That is, the child should have time for internal reflection. Or simply - for loitering, for giving up the section on Sunday, for lazy making a cardboard monster, for monotonously painting the page of a textbook with a gel pen. The mentioned team of psychologists writes that "the development of certain social and emotional skills is disrupted by certain educational practices or the excessive use of social networks." Turning off the computer is a logical matter if we decided that a person should rest.
By the way, education today is also an aggressive external simulation. Educational films, quest lessons, scientific tricks - all fight for the attention of children. And all that remains is to look from one to the other. Making lessons boring is not an option. But at least we can rejoice when a person ceases to be a slave and makes his own choice, focusing his attention on such strange things as a broken toy bulldozer, picking in the snow, fighting with a sofa cushion.
All unsupervised children's games did not just arise in the course of evolution, and it is no coincidence that nature did not foresee the appearance of the “Young Time Manager” course for guys from the older group of the kindergarten. It arose by someone’s malice.
Our children are sorely lacking yard games. In Moscow and St. Petersburg, on weekends, some parents take their children not to the next developmental lesson, but to a role-playing game. It is strange for fathers of past generations to think that you can wake up early on Sunday, bring the child through half the city to the role-playing ground, pay money and wait a couple of hours until the child wrapped in craft crawls, depicting a tired shrimp. This shrimp work is what a person needs with a tight class schedule. During her, you better understand yourself and others.
The child feels that he may not live up to our expectations. And it’s better to refuse everything in advance
If you ask a child who does not want to run a cross-country ski, “Why are you so lazy?” - you are unlikely to receive a detailed justification of his goals and motivations. Children avoid some dangerous traps subconsciously. For example, it is very unpleasant to be unsuccessful, not to catch up with your father during the cross-country race and on all the way back to listen to how your skating move made fun of all the bullfinches in the park. For some reason, it is important for children to arouse pride in their parents.
“Look how beautifully I fell!” Yells the five-year-old, who failed to get down the stairs for his two — he was driving at the fifth point.
“Can I cool?” The girl freaks out, blowing something unintelligible on the flute.
“And look at what video I shot?” The first-grader asks, showing some dark shadows shot by a trembling camera.
Of course, the first impulse is to explain where the mistake is, how exactly one can go up the stairs more successfully, play the melody more lively and keep the camera at a different angle.
Infinitely criticizing and correcting, we forget to admire our children, forget to say that we value their efforts
That mournful work will not be lost, and in general "I am glad that you are trying, I believe in you, this trill sounded especially piercing."
And is it surprising that sometimes it’s more interesting to sit out in your room, refusing the parental offer to make birdhouses. It is known in advance how this will end: notations and a story about how to hold a hacksaw, where your hands generally grow from, I’m in your years and so on.
Sometimes refusing work is a disguised attempt to save face.
Children cannot be fooled. If you are bored with doing something - even more so
Even if you pretend that everything that happens in the Philharmonic is very invigorating and carefully hides yawns, the child does not believe you. It’s hard to deceive the children, they don’t rush into battle, feeling the falsity in their mother’s words: “It's fun here. All musicians in tailcoats. You'll like it!". But if something really cool happens, the child wakes up even in the middle of the night to see what his parents are doing.
There were trifles left: to show the person that we really love to work, to learn new things and - what else is there? Make notes about wildlife in an observation diary.
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