I didn't have a good relationship before I graduated from college,and I was slow to do things with men and women, but on the other hand, I was a woman who trusted her instincts and listened to her inner and physical needs.
My first time gave half a stranger, that year I was 22.On the eve of college, I found a partner to rent a room, he, Xiao Xia, appeared.He does sales, more know how to narrow the relationship between people, anyway, after seeing, I changed the attitude of finding a girl roommate, agreed to find a room with him.The first is good, he will come back from work to cook and wait for me to come back to eat, but to tell the truth, that I really did not feel for him, I finished out and classmates, go back to see he made a table dish waiting for me, I also very innocent to say, you did not say to meAt that time I was very insensitive, and my only child was very temperamental.Sometimes I cook, and he does not wash the dishes I am also very upset.
When I was graduating from school, one of the boys who had pursued me, took advantage of the wine courage, said to me to sit, I did not think much, and took him back.Before sent a text message to Xiao Xia, said I brought a classmate home, ask him to come back later.I thought the classmate was just catching up with me, but he suddenly started kissing me, and in that environment it was hard for me to say no, so we kissed and cuddled, but we didn't go to bed.At this time, Xiao Xia suddenly came back, also came to knock on my door, asked me how did not sound, is not an accident, and tried to open the door to come in.I clung to the door and said nothing.Later know that Xiao Xia deliberately, he looked at me and my classmates downstairs on the floor.But I would not love for both of them, everything I do, is to make up for the missing regret, but now I think, I do not understand men, too do not understand human nature.
My classmates were terrified, very surprised I and the boys live together, I said that is just a flat, I thought the World clear as my heart.The next day, I explained to Xiao Xia what happened last night. I said that I was a college student, and I wanted to express my feelings.Xiao Xia just smiled, did not speak, he is older than me four years old, social experience is much richer.He said he had been waiting downstairs for two hours, and I think he was deliberately trying to get up there, and he certainly didn't think it was so lyrical.Because of this, I and Xiao Xia's relationship is not as good as before,we invariably come out early and return late, and strive not to meet each other.
One night, we watched TV together in a rare and harmonious atmosphere.Xiao Xia took a bottle of wine,we have a glass of dry, Xiao Xia bet I drink but he, I can't say.Later on drunk, must be Xiao Xia deliberately wanted to drunk me, but I was not drunk, I was dizzy lying on the table, Xiao Xia held my head for a long time, wanted to shoot me awake, and then could not help but start to kiss me, I just pretend drunk.Then he took me to bed and I knew what was going to happen, but I was so curious about sex that a 22-year-old virgin wanted to know what sex was, so I kept pretending to be drunk and acquiescing that he had done everything.
The first time I felt normal, I was relentless.The next day he went to work,I went to buy my own medicine.He came back at night and asked me how I was feeling.'I said I wasn't comfortable, he said If I wanted to buy a pill, I said No, I ate it, and he said,' I know you're not going to be responsible, but I'm going to be responsible.'"Now I think this is really very hurt, my relationship with Xiao Xia is very complex, not a one-night stand so simple."Xiao Xia is probably contradictory, all sorts of 80 after my practice, he probably also do not understand, his contradictory attitude to some extent hurt me, so I use words to build a wall between us.
Then, I didn't want to see Xiao Xia, in fact, do not want to face the things between us, I do not know how to give myself an explanation, I was voluntary, but this distance and my perception of feelings, I think the sex is wonderful, the fact that.I went to the field out of a small difference, I came back after the early evening, also do not talk to Xiao Xia, then the atmosphere between us is very awkward.One day Xiao Xia said he had found another house to move out.I was relieved.After he left, I deleted his phone number and never contacted him again.
Then I changed jobs, getting busy.I have not met my love, the middle of the boys chasing me, I think the old alone, not officially dating, also wrong, have a good talk, a week out to eat what, but did not feel, like to complete the task of eating.Now I think, although I was 80, but in sex and love, thought is very traditional, I think that love is to get married, to find the right conditions, so I will reluctantly and not feel love.In fact, if Young can fly a little more, to enjoy more love, rather than consider the marriage, I will be more pleasant.
I gave the first night to a secret relationship, from this point of view, I think I love Xiao Xia emotionally, but Xiao Xia and I do not fit into the marriage, so always refused to clear relationship with him, and quickly cut off the relationship after the completion of the emotional exile.I think I'm pretty ruthless, to myself, very rational, and then the experience has proved it.
Another year later, I met the most important man in my life, and this time my sensibility prevailed over reason.He was my partner, 10 years older than me, divorced.At first I had no idea what was going to happen to us, and he was quite straightforward in expressing his appreciation for me, and I laughed it off.But in contact with his advantages more and more obvious:he is very smart, and very diligent, he can do what he did best, after more than ten years of work still keep a week to read more than two academic publications habits, to ensure that knowledge does not lag behind; he lives very regular, 10: 00 at night, 6: 30 in theIt was these qualities that attracted me to him.
In a way, I feel that both men and women should be in love with someone who is better than themselves.I learned a lot from him, so far I will think of him as long as I sleep, wasting time on the guilty.I'm an only child, I don't do much housework, and since I've been to his house, I've learned that it's impossible for a man so neat to live in my pigsty, and that my job is not an excuse, and that I can be more busy than him?He can clean it up. why can't I?Since then, I have asked myself to keep my house clean and ready to serve.So, this relationship brings me a lot of pain, also let me grow rapidly.