1. Friendships may not change.
Imagine that you have a problem. Turning for friendly participation in your "personal rescue service", you release the soul from unpleasant experiences. It makes me feel better. All for free. Then your life goes on as usual. If you have a similar trouble again, you repeat the maneuver that led to success last time. Communication with friend "for a glass of tea", consolation, relief. And so it can be repeated many, many times. You react in the usual way to similar troubles, but nothing changes. Why is this happening? When you communicate with a friend, the accumulated tension is simply released, not converted into energy to change the situation. If you have received support, you do not need to develop and do something differently. And if this is the only way to get support, then it is even beneficial for you to remain eternally offended, cornered, unsuccessful.
To the psychologist come, when comes fatigue from endless movement around the circle.
2. Most friendly advice is useless.
You go to friends with question that to do. Friends and family are happy to prompt and give advice. But what will you do with their Council? Try to perform? But there's a 90% chance it won't work. Decide to follow it later, throw it into the farthest corner of your mind, so that it gets lost there, like trash on your mezzanine? Or do you think that it is unrealistic to fulfill it? And then politely say thank you and forget as soon as he walked out the door? If you're used to following advice and delegating decision-making to family and friends, you're not living your life. Instead, you implement other people's desires, needs, principles and moral values.
A psychologist doesn't give advice. He believes that your life can be lived only by you. It seeks to understand your unique inner world and view of things. It helps you enjoy the taste of freedom. The freedom to make their own decisions, guided by your true desires, not imposed once the oughts.
3. It's hard for a friend to be objective.
Friends are on your side, they are rooting for you. When you come to them in a difficult moment, they worry about you and with you. Therefore, they see the situation through your eyes and it is difficult for them to be objective.
The psychologist is also on your side, but he is not so involved. And so it can help to see what you have not noticed before. For many customers, this is enough to solve their problem. For example, you say "there is no way out." A friend would agree with you. With a psychologist you will learn that most restrictions are inside and there is a way out. To find it, you need to allocate time and effort.
4. How do you pay a friend?
In what "currency" do you pay a friend for his care? Listen to him sympathetically when he's upset? Talking about his mother-in-law with him? Babysitting his kids? Feed the cat and water the flowers? You can continue this list. But how do you know if you are in debt? If the" debt " grows, the tension grows and the friendship can come to an end.
With the psychologist you have a transparent contractual relationship. He does not need anything from you, except to pay for their time and skills.
5. A friend doesn't have to keep a secret.
Conduct an experiment. Tell us something on the big secret ten friends. After a while, you may hear a lot about yourself. You yourself sometimes find it difficult not to betray someone's secret entrusted to you. Friends can let you down sometimes. But you know you're taking a risk by sharing your innermost feelings with them.
Ethical standards require a psychologist to keep other people's secrets. In the West, violation of the confidentiality rule leads to the loss of the license, in our country the psychologist loses the trust of clients and practice.
6. Meetings with friends are usually irregular.
Communication with friends is not as regular as with a psychologist. Not always a friend will be available. It is important for you to coincide in the desire to meet and to find for this purpose time. And the faster the rhythm of life, the less it is confidential communication.
The psychologist is waiting for you "again in the same place, at the same hour." Whatever happens to you, you are sure that it will respond if you get lost and shout, " Ow!". He will be present at your side, not running away and not hurrying you. He will not expect great things from you. You will come to a place where "there is not always a place for feat", but there is always a place for love, care and depth in the relationship.
7. In a relationship with a friend, stability is important.
You have accumulated old grudges and fresh claims in a relationship with a friend? Are you afraid to throw them in his face? You choose silence to protect your friendship. But the resentment is still gnawing away at her. How to present them so as not to destroy the relationship?
In a relationship with a psychologist, you are an experimenter, and he is your scientific assistant. When you are dissatisfied with something in a relationship and are silent, you suffer. If you cut the truth-the uterus, you can lose a partner. Find a middle ground will help you experiment. Psychologist can Express what is scary "get on the forehead" in life. And make sure the relationship doesn't break down and nobody gets hurt. Finding a middle ground, you will transfer this successful experience from the "laboratory of relations" in your life.
8. Friends are hard to withstand your difficult experience.
Friends can be difficult to withstand heavy experiences, they are too involved in your life. They so want you for good, that too quickly say: "All will well, not worry about it, you a strong(-comes), you can handle it." The paradox is that after these words you feel lonely. A friend is willing to be with you when you feel good, but it is difficult for him to be around when you are in a difficult situation.
The psychologist will listen to you. He will not be afraid and will not run away from your strong feelings, doubts, pain, sadness. Just stay close.
So, you should see a specialist if you want to support you in coping with difficulties. The psychologist will listen, understand and keep your secrets. It will help to see the problem from a new angle. Will be interested in what you really want to contribute to the choice of their own values and desires. Experimenting with a psychologist, you can try to communicate in a new way: to stay in an unusual role, to become bright or uncomfortable. And keep the best. Then, you will be able to build a relationship so that you are comfortable. Cooperating with a psychologist, you use the chance to realize yourself, living an interesting and rich life.