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The article is subjective and expresses the personal opinion of the author.
Children are the only creatures in the world whose loved ones begin to get nervous when they feel good. If the child is too much fun - something is wrong here, you should rather seat him for the lessons. “It’s hard to learn, easy to fight,” we push, rolling up the cotton candy party. "Here is a physics textbook, from it, unlike cotton wool, nothing will stick together anywhere."
While adults allow themselves to spend time with a glass, or in a wild dance, or this and that at the same time, and do not jump at the same time with a timer: “Damn, I have to improve myself, work out the bench press and learn the list of baby dolls birth dates ". A child is another matter. It bears the responsibility ... That is, it lies with us the responsibility for a bright future, and the surplus is simply poured over the child.
And terrible pictures sweep before one’s eyes one after another: he will lie on the couch all his life with the joystick, he will scatter suspenders, he will go out to the guests, picking his nose, and ask, “Why didn’t the teeth come out of the bird?”. The work ahead is a lot of land, and then suddenly the article “How to Pamper Children”. Are you kidding me?!
Not at all. Despite the duty and responsibility, we have a need to please the children, see how they are smiling, clap their hands, or, conversely, happily run away to their room to look at the fake bill. It was easy to entertain children in the years of scarcity and empty store shelves: jam? Hurrah! Condensed milk? Holiday! Sprinkled bread with sugar? What a joy! Grandmothers and great-grandmothers still do not understand why youths in pantyhose declare for growth: “I don’t eat cakes. I hate jam. Strawberry? Phew! And I only eat sweets on which the ninja is painted! ”
How, one wonders, to please a person who turns up his nose from a pie because his grandmother did not fashion a ninja on him? Here are some ideas.
1. Arrange a sweet life: sweets, chips, rolls
In general, pampering food is a very outdated method. In classic fairy tales, all poor and noble heroes walk with their bellies tightened, and immoral boys-bad boys and gentlemen-tomatoes - with ice cream mustaches. Today, everything looks the other way around: a kibalchish from the social lower classes will suffer from excess weight, and the new three fat men, having breakfast of sprouted quinoa, will show sunken cheeks. Children from dysfunctional families can satisfy their hunger with sweet nonsense for three pennies, children who care about this will not be allowed: mom and dad slip them baked vegetables.
Fear of harm and disturbing thoughts prevent parents from often going to pastry shops: "Yeah, today I bought a bun, and tomorrow my child has unhealthy eating habits, obesity and complexes." However, this fear is unknown to many people who accidentally met you on the way. Scary dear passengers of public transport, having seen someone else's pretty peanut, are always ready to pamper him: to get poisonous green caramel or greasy waffle from your pocket - “Hold it, baby! Say thank you!".
And, of course, the paled parent, who had taught three weeks to not take anything from strangers, and three more, explained the effects of fast carbohydrates, seems like a gray-haired nut freaking a waffle, as if it were about to burst a bomb: “No, thanks! We have green buckwheat with us in a thermos! ”
In general, pampering your food is more expensive. Birthday cake, ice cream on weekends - we made a schedule, explained why so, and enough joy. Everything, son, see the calendar? Is it a day off? No. Well, there’s no ice cream in the refrigerator! Take the bullseye.
2. How to entertain: attractions, quests, circus
Another way to pamper children, known to us for a long time, to take them to the circus. And again there is some misunderstanding. Because before the children clapped their hands when they heard about walruses, and the current child wrinkles tiredly: “I do not want walruses. It’s boring in the circus. ” It’s strange. He does not want to go to the theater. He doesn’t want to go to opera (okay, this is a joke, nobody wants to go to opera). He does not want a carousel. Although yesterday he liked the carousels.
And the day before yesterday. And last week, everything was fine. And the quest was not bad. What did he get bored again? Perhaps the fact is that an excess of entertainment makes them not so valuable, and expectations are growing. It's like with children's birthdays: on the first anniversary, acrobats and 40 guests come, on the second - staging in the water park and fireworks are organized, and when the child turns five - he has already seen everything, tried everything and already wants nothing from life.
A boy from the Soviet Union looked at the globe, fantasizing about mysterious islands. Today’s boy went on a vacation to Indonesia and did not pay attention to her - he played on the phone
The current parent therefore always looks so stupid, because he selects entertainment for himself a little one: “Varka! Look how cool! In the game, uncle fights like Jackie Chan! ”-“ Well dad! I asked for a doll that pisses! ” Or in another way: “Children! Dance! I brought the complete works of Gorky! ”-“ Ah, good. And we are watching "losharikov"!
Again we are at a fork. Indulge the child's love for the vulgar cartoon - to spoil his taste. To form a more or less decent aesthetic ideal means not to pamper, but to force, to educate again. Rare craftsmen turn the campaign into the Hermitage into either an exciting quest with a detective investigation, or into a high-speed orienteering game. Obviously, for example, the future lies in the education of such children.
3. Spend time together: play, watch a movie and just chat
There is another way to help the child - give him his time. The theory of affection, the theory of eight hugs, the concept of “quality time” - all these things seem to inform unlucky parents that they are the best gift for children. The correct interpretation does not mean that we should come home from work to the sound of bells and in a suit of a good gnome (although why not) or follow the communication style “mother-fairy”, which psychologists recommend. In a less sophisticated version, without turning into a fairy, parents should know that children need our society, that a book with mom, a fun pillow fight with dad, fishing with grandfather are irreplaceable childhood moments.
But since time for fishing is not often given out, you have to do with what you have. The idea of “quality time” is this: the more you work, the more time you spend away from the child, the more intense your moments with him should be. At a minimum, this implies sincere communication, a game together in what the child offers, eye-to-eye contact ... But there is a trap here.
Dad comes home from work and happily goes to the nursery to give his “quality” half an hour to the child. But, as it turns out, the child did not sit all day waiting for this fateful minute. He has other plans: first to arrange a cat hunt, and then a tantrum. Many dads are frustrated by the prospect of lying in their own house in an ambush, watching first the cat, and then the tantrum. And he wants to “qualitatively” tell something important: about the construction of a drill, for example. But who needs a drill when you almost caught a cat?
But when a child needs quality time, the parent is not ready to give it. The child was upset about something important, for example, due to the fact that his drool did not burn the carpet. And he came to tell you about this with a wild roar and tears. And at this very moment you have a responsible conference with the creative department. And you try with your right foot to somehow imperceptibly make it clear to the child that there is no need to appear on the air now. But all in vain.
The injustice of life is that when we need children, we are terribly busy, and when we need them, they are terribly busy
In addition, the idea itself - to please with its presence arrogant. It seems that we just need to be near them, without any complaints, especially when the hunt did not work out or something wrong happens with burning saliva.
4. Ask the child what he wants (desires can be strange - we warn you!)
The last and most important way to pamper children is to listen carefully to their desires. And even though the majority of children's desires are related to “the horse was able to speak,” and “I have one more face on the back of my head”, it still looks like the most sensible way to make children’s life better, and therefore ours is calmer. Some of these desires are not a sin to fulfill. Nothing bad will happen.
Let the children express themselves, come to school in a raccoon costume, learn lessons on fitball, sign up (and immediately write out) in a low-break circle and directly say what they think about quinoa for breakfast. In any case, a certain level of freedom and openness is exactly what children of previous generations could not afford. And we can. Let our children have the right not to go to the circus, the right to spoil their parents “a moment of quality time”, the right to choose wallpaper in their room. And if the choice is impossible, then get clear explanations about the refusal, and at the level of your age - from "Don’t cry, sweetie has ridden into the forest!" To "I'm sorry, but the loan rate has increased ...".
In the end, we have no other way to let the children understand that their opinion is valuable and their voice is important to us.
(What? Again cotton candy? I already explained to you ...)
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