What is stopping psychotherapy: the 3 main obstacles
Today I will write about a few of the most common causes that put a spoke in the wheels of the psychotherapeutic process.
Without delving into psychology, that is, without mentioning, for example, compliance, transfers and other complex phenomena.
About what can be seen immediately on the surface.
Unwillingness to change
Let's start with the most important thing — the reluctance to change. Latent and hidden, or, on the contrary, categorical (it happens).
The person thought about the problem, formulated it, even came to the reception, but still really does not want to change. Because even in this form, everything suits him. Some problems exist for years, because they really help a person in some way.
In another case, a person was forced to apply close people who are tired of the manifestations of his problems.
He also does not want to change, although he understands that it would be nice.
In the third case, the reluctance may be dictated by fear: if I change, then ... lose myself, or something else, so familiar and native.
Sometimes this attitude looks like an argument with a therapist, such as"prove to me that I need to change."
The attitude to a minimum
The second thing that you constantly face is the client's expectations that he should change a lot with a minimum of costs: minimum discomfort, with a minimum duration of work with a psychologist, with a minimum of work on his part, quickly and dramatically.
Looks like the wait is usually like this: "here's my problem, she has years 8-10, but I think an hour to fix it and make magic".
There is one joke: for every year of the existence of a symptom, a month of therapy is needed. This is a joke, again, but there is some truth in it.
Will not work "a little blood" to get rid of what already accustomed to being helped (even a little bit wrong).
Significant discomfort is possible. It is possible that efforts will be needed.
It can also be added that sometimes in principle it is quite difficult to change the way the client thinks or feels. Even if he fully agree and seeks to.
Violations of the setting
Setting is a simple terms and agreements, how the process of communication with the therapist is organized: the schedule of meetings, territory, mode of payment, circumstances of absences and postponements of sessions, etc.
Sometimes clients genuinely do not understand why it is necessary to personally go to long-term psychotherapy regularly, without omissions and transfers. This obstacle is easily removed by explanation and no longer arises.
But the cases of regular violations of the setting from both client and therapist — it is an occasion both to reflect. For example, cancellations and reschedulings of meetings at the last moment, constant lateness, etc.
The very fact of establishing certain boundaries (for example, meeting schedules) helps to detect many behavioral patterns (patterns of behavior) that the client uses including in relations with the therapist.
It is possible that if we talk about these patterns, the client's health will improve.
Of course, when we pay attention to such things in the course of therapy, it becomes a little uncomfortable.
But if you do not pay attention to them at all, it may not play a very good role in therapy and prevent changes.