Tips for PARENTS
Your daughter's boyfriend or your son's girlfriend comes not only to show themselves, but also to see you. So, be ready to show your best side.
* Remember that on the one hand, your daughter's boyfriend (or your son's girlfriend) really needs to impress you. But, on the other hand, also evaluate you. It is very important for a young man or girl to understand whether your family is worth joining. In addition, they also probably know the saying "the Apple does not fall far from the tree." :) So, you should make the visit of this important guest comfortable enough.
* Prepare for the visit. Ask your daughter or son about what interests his half. Does he (she) study? What does he do in his free time? Where does he work?" That can be done, to it (him) liked you have in gostyakh?
* Give him (her) a task. As you know, in an unfamiliar situation, a person feels better when he knows what to do. For example, instruct him to set the table, or entertain 8-year-old sister. However, either give some preliminary instructions, or be prepared for the fact that this task can be done a little differently than you are used to.
* Talk to him (her). Ask open-ended questions (see above) and listen to the answer. No, really-listen to the answer! It's so important to feel heard.
* Don't ask him if he plans to marry your daughter, how much money he is going to make, and when he will become a big boss. If you get acquainted with the girl of your son - do not torment her with questions, whether she is going to sit with future children at home, whether she loves your son and so on. It is very likely that the answers to these questions are still unknown to them.
* Treat him or her truly as an honored and respected guest. After all, it is quite possible that this person is a future member of your family.
* If you are not sure that you like him-remember that your daughter (son) loves him for something. So you can find that "something" too.
* Try to relax, but not too much. Of course, this is your home and your rules, but... do not forget that your child really wants you to like an important person for him.
In many ways, relationships in the future depend on how they began. Very difficult (if at all perhaps!) to cancel or mitigate the effects of the first bad experience.
If at the very first meeting someone felt offended, insulted, if he is evaluated negatively, if he understands that he is unlikely to ever "fit in" with this company, then he is unlikely to make further attempts to establish or change something. It is very difficult.
On the other hand, if the first acquaintance was rather positive, and people felt interested in each other, then, we can say, the relationship has received a promising direction for development.
So, the first acquaintance is a reason to treat such meetings with all seriousness!
Another meeting: tips for everyone
Let them talk. Let them talk about anything: children, work, Hobbies.
* Don't expect much. Do not tune in to receive approval, warmth and love from your relatives. I don't mean it's never going to happen, no. What you should tune-is to be hospitable, friendly host (if relatives come to you) or to be polite, well— mannered, pleasant guest-if you go to visit. How it will be perceived by the second party-their business.
* Let me help you. People like to be useful and useful. Ask your father-in-law to light a fire in the fireplace, and mother — in-law-to cook you or bring her favorite cupcake.
* Make a pleasant surprise: ask your son (if you are waiting to visit his girlfriend) or ask your young man (if you are going to visit your parents) — what are the Christmas traditions in their family. Maybe they like to play some kind of Board game such as bingo or cards; maybe they always have a special, new year's dish on the table — make a surprise by offering to play this game or prepare your own version of this dish.
* If you happen to be criticized, or your boyfriend's mom is unhappy with the way you wash her son's shirts — just smile.
* Set a schedule or boundaries for communication time. If the visit of relatives will last a few days, think about how to organize the time. You can't spend 100% of your time with them — first, you'll get tired of them, and satisfy them with your persona; and second, you probably have your own things to do. It would be better if you just talk with all your General schedule for the next few days, for example, so: on Saturday morning we cook pancakes, and after — all go to the movies. Before dinner-free personal time for everyone, at 7-8 PM-General collection for dinner, after dinner-songs and Board games until midnight, and later — at will.
* Be sure to include in your plans a walk around the city, if there is such a possibility in time.