Happiness is a thing that everyone wants, but few people can honestly say that they are happy. Rare, in General, thing. Let's try to do something to happiness came across us more often.
To begin with, it is necessary to determine what we will understand by the word "happiness". There are two options: temporary emotion and life value. First Pro the first.
Happiness as a passing emotion associated with a situation
Quarreled with a loved one-sad and unhappy. Got a promotion and a bonus at work-have fun and happy. We spent a good evening with friends-again joy and happiness. Familiar? Happiness in this sense is the opposite of sadness.
Note that these emotions are related to situations. Our life is full of all sorts of events, something happens every day, and good and bad. Therefore, the feeling of happiness that is, then no. At the same time, many expect that they should often or even constantly experience a feeling of happiness. But it's unreal. That is why there is a feeling that there is no happiness in life. Especially, if at the moment you have some period of waiting or calm, forced restrictions of activity (for example, illness) or due to circumstances you can not diversify your everyday events.
Do not count on the fact that you will have fun and have fun every minute of every day. In my opinion, it is possible only in the instagram or Facebook feed. On the contrary, it would be nice to learn to deal constructively with sadness, disappointment, failure, pain, etc.Of course, this skill alone will not provide happiness, but it will reduce the amount of depression, anxiety and other moral suffering.
The second important step on the road to feeling good is to realize that there are things that we can not change, they can only accept. There are things that do not bring obvious or immediate results. There are things we don't like — and still it happens all the time. Even if such a situation is very difficult to accept, it is worth constantly reminding yourself about it. This is by no means a passive attitude to life: as soon as you stop chasing the unattainable, and accept life events for what they are, you stop whining and suffering and can start planning something to improve your life.
Happiness as a vital value
And even more constructively will view happiness as something more global, with attitude not to situations, and to your personal life in a whole. This understanding is more related to the answers to the questions Who am I? What am I? What I do? Do I like my life? What do I find the meaning of life? Am I satisfied? and so on. That is, you know your values, and they relate to your reality, regardless of circumstances and all situations.
In this regard, it becomes clear that such happiness you can control, cultivate and it is almost limitless-in contrast to the first, "situationally dependent" happiness, which also depends on other people.
Recipe Happiness: think about itself
* Don't kid yourself about your life goals. Do not set goals like " I want a big house "or" I want a red Mercedes"," I want to make a career "or" I want to marry a millionaire " — this is not the goal of life. These are the goals of the human consumer. You may well have them, I do not dispute. But do not confuse them with life goals, because if you assume that you finally bought a big house and a Mercedes, you will feel a sense of completeness, but do not get a guarantee of happiness. Life goals have to do with what kind of person you want to be, how you want to live your life. What values do you share? What kind of spouse do you want to be? What parent? How employee? What kind of person? What do you value in a relationship? What is important for you in terms of health? In terms of education? In terms of self-realization?
• What are you doing now to have all of the above? What else could be done? If you, for example, want to be responsible in your work and want your colleagues to perceive you as a responsible employee, then what do you need to do for this?
* What activities give you a sense of completeness, pleasure, connection with others, the meaning of life? When was the last time you did this? How often do you do something under the influence of other people who told you "it's going to be cool"? Do things that relate to your values, not to other people's values.
* Take care not only of your body, buying " him " a vacation at the sea, a gym membership or new clothes. Also take care of your inner happiness: "get" him friendship, love, support, education.
* Learn not to get stuck in negative thinking. Once you've caught yourself thinking badly (about yourself, others, the world...), pause, focus on your body, take a couple of breaths and think about how you can change yourself or what you can do to make a difference.