About three clear signals that your relationship is going through hard times. But something can still be done.
Relationships are a process. There's always room for UPS and downs, especially when we're talking about relationships that last several years. In some periods you feel that you are estranged from your partner, and in some periods you feel that on the contrary you are again on your honeymoon. Sometimes you are sure that everything is going well, and sometimes you are immersed in difficulties, problems, conflicts and showdowns. Such waves can happen repeatedly and last for years. That's OK. You go through difficult periods together, learn to cope with problems in a new way, and as a result you are rewarded with a period of happiness and good relationships.
But sometimes you feel that what is happening is the beginning of the end. That your breakup is imminent. If this leads to a long period of mutual unhappiness and fruitless attempts to fix everything, then most likely you will not be surprised by what awaits you.
But there are also sudden "I don't love you anymore" or "We should separate and try to live separately." How would you be surprised if, for example, your spouse (or spouse) will declare this to you tonight? Does it shock you? You didn't expect?
I do not know how much I will now open for you America, but in fact this does not happen, that in a relationship everything was fine, and suddenly out of the blue, like snow falls on your head here is this "We need to live separately." So it wasn't all that wonderful. In such a relationship, the last six months or a year hardly really reigned love, understanding, sincere support and respect. Instead, there must have been constant irritation, dissatisfaction with each other, distance, anger, frustration and frustration.
To prevent such a snowball from happening in your relationship, let's talk about warning signs. The signs that the relationship is likely to fall apart soon. But there is still an opportunity to do something.
Individual approach: what affects the gap
Before we talk about the signs, there is one more thing to be aware of.
For each pair, the end and breakup of the relationship will proceed in its own way, individually. This process, at its stage, will be influenced by different factors. As usual, there is no one-size-fits-all recipe.
According to Dutch psychologist Elly Prior, the nature of the gap will affect:
* your active participation and involvement in the relationship at the beginning (by "your" I mean both your person and your spouse, that is, both of you);
* your involvement, care and openness to discussion as your relationship has evolved;
* the duration and intensity of your relationship;
* history of your relationship: what was, how it was and how it ended;
* stage of your life: age, first serious relationship, marriage, having babies, preschoolers, older children, Teens, mid-life, older age, etc.
• any psychological trauma that may have happened to you during your relationship;
* features of your personalities, characters, temperaments, etc.
And now we can move on to the warning signs.
Danger signs: what to look for
These symptoms can accumulate over a relatively long period, such as a year. Or to become obvious much faster, for example, in a couple of months. But they will still take place. There may also be other signs of trouble in the relationship (although in fact, they all say the same thing).
Long-term feeling of distance, distance from each other
Once again, it may be okay if from time to time you want to be alone, to do something of your own, to have time for your classes. This is absolutely natural and does not mean that there is anything wrong with your relationship. Quite another matter, when for relatively a long time you prefer society whom anywhere, only not your spouse (spouse). Any activity, just not at home.
Additional signs of distancing are:
* If you stopped sharing your feelings, plans, and how your day went.
You feel lethargic about your partner: he or she is not doing what you expected and you do not care. Before, you would have exploded, or become alarmed, or reacted in some other way, but now it becomes not so important for you. Whatever.
* You talk less to each other at all. You have no idea for a long time what your partner cares about and what is happening in his life. You can say that you are living more and more separate lives.
* You are often delayed at work, not because of workload, but because you do not want to go home. Or, for example, you have become more likely to meet with friends-also for this reason in the first place.