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Psychology

Anti-recipe: how to ruin relationships with exes

"Exes" will always be special to you. Memories of them can be both positive and negative, but the fact remains — your ex will never stand in a common row with all the people you met in your life. Quite often it happens that they need or want to maintain a relationship. For example, if the role of the ex — ex-wife with children. But, as we are now reading the Anti-recipe, we do not need it — we do not want to maintain relations with anyone, but on the contrary, we want to spoil them. So, what do you need to do to achieve this?*Anti-recipe is the psychologist's advice to the contrary. Which you shouldn't unless you want to get what's in the headline. Unlike doctors ' prescriptions.

Make a list of your ex's (your ex's) worst misdeeds and always keep it in mind. Every time life brings you to the former / former, remember him / her all the bad things that happened.

• If you can not directly Express the claim, for example, if there are outsiders, be sure to hint at past mistakes. Hinted so guaranteed to piss off ex - /ex -, and associates to suspect something bad about him.

* Call the parents of the former / former and long tell how and how many times their son (or daughter) caused you damage and offense.

* Be sure to involve children in your "showdown", because children need to know what really was their father. Incite children against, and especially against meetings with parents former.

* Do not forget to tell in detail to other people from your General circle about what muck is capable of your ex (your ex). If you want, you can slightly embellish the story or tell with hints, they say, not everything is so simple in this man.

* Be impatient. Do not give him/her time and opportunity to establish a relationship with you.

* If you experience strong negative emotions — anger, anger, hatred, resentment, humiliation — immediately call the ex (ex) to share with him (her) your feelings.

* If you need to resolve some important issues, such as legal issues with your ex, take your time. Let him (her) suffer from uncertainty.

• If you met an ex at a party with friends, at a corporate party in the company, at a large family event, however, anywhere-immediately approach and start to sort things out.

* When you enter into a new relationship, immediately tell your new partner about the former. Also tell all in detail your former (the former), let knows, that he lost.

* When your ex / ex starts a new relationship, be sure to find his new partner in social networks. Examine all photos and statuses. Go out of your way to convince yourself that he/she is better than you at everything.

* Of course, as soon as you drink a couple of cocktails, send him (her) SMS. It better be at night.

* Do not seek to become friends with the ex and stop any of his/her attempts to do so. After all to remain friends - this destiny for morally weak people.

* As soon as you feel that between you and the former/former established some boundaries, immediately break them: come to his/her home without an invitation, do not come to pre-agreed meetings, try to blackmail something.

• If you feel overwhelmed with emotion, immediately email your ex "I miss you. Let's start over."Any rational thoughts like" we Must wait out this storm " throw out of your head.

* Believe, that to forge normal relations with former impossible. As soon as you feel that the relationship has started to improve, immediately say to yourself: "This is an accident!"and convince yourself that you will never see normal relations.

* Channel all your energy into controlling your ex's life. Why should you worry about yourself (or the children)? Much more fun to follow, with whom and where he went on vacation.

• Make every effort to change your ex / ex. After all, if it failed to do over the years of your marriage, now-then, when you individually, this should totally happen: your ex/the former finally got to behave as you want.

* Never say "Yes" to the ex, be rude and harsh, do not compromise.

* Focus on your resentment and desire for revenge. Your own life can wait.

The result of this" treatment " relationship:

Of course, do not do what is written in the Anti-prescription. But on the contrary-you need!

In fact, a good relationship with an ex is a sincere, friendly, slightly formal, slightly work — like relationship. There is no place for intimacy or scandal.

You honor your agreements regarding children, finances, appointments, and possessions. You put children's interests first, and your children have the opportunity to communicate with those who love them and whom they love.

You do not involve or manipulate family and friends in your relationships.

Sometimes it is very difficult to survive a divorce or breakup. If you feel that you are not coping, or if you have caught yourself on one or more items from the Anti-Prescription, it is possible that the advice of a psychologist or psychotherapist can be a good help and support for you.