Finally, I'm not talking about fears, and not about anxiety! Today Pro relations-as understand, is worth or not continue to develop relations further. In fact, not so long ago with one of the clients discussed just this issue, and I thought it would be nice to fix our ideas.
Common thing
Okay, maybe not on the first date, but by the third date, you can probably clear up most of the issues. The main thing-to give the person the opportunity to speak out and ask what interests. Because if you talk about something else all the time, then a dozen dates won't be enough.
Feel free to ask questions a normal person would react normally answer, and inadequate... why do you need this? Your task — as soon as possible to find out how you coincide on key points about the relationship.
Secondly, it does not matter who you need to" understand " — a man, a woman, another option. The, that will written below, when applied to any man in principle.
Third, for each list of important questions to check can be individual, so it is necessary to approach flexibly, and to begin to understand for yourself what is important to you personally.
Someone interested somewhere in the long term serious relationship, the official registration of marriage, children and that's all; and someone only needs a partner/partner for a good time without obligations for the next six months or a year.
Both have a right to exist. If you do not coincide in this position — it just means that you do not coincide in interests. The sooner you figure out the most important thing, the less time you will waste, and the less chance to survive an unpleasant painful separation.
Previous relationship experience
Better to be judged not by words but by deeds, as you know. Depending on what interests you, ask the subject what his past experience was in terms of relationships.
Be wary if you do not get a clear answer. Don't talk yourself into taking a chance if the answer doesn't match what you need at all. Do not try to think, if the information is not enough - you can make a big mistake. Just listen to the facts.
Drama
Stormy relations with clarifications, emotions, outbursts, scandals, intrigues and investigations. If you are young-why not try it, it can be fun (if not beyond all possible limits of normality).
If you do not have the time, energy, or desire — do not risk it. It may be theoretically possible to re-educate by your own example, but how much time and effort will it take?
Lover of chaos
"Yeah, I missed my plane, it's a normal thing for me, haha."
"Sorry, I mixed up the days when we agreed to meet, "" I didn't come because suddenly a huge work report was drawn up, I just couldn't leave. Couldn't call, yeah, sorry, my head was full of that report."
If you like a little bit of chaos and unpredictability in life — well, this is your half. If you categorically do not accept — maybe you should not start.
Here you can include a story about instability: we are together, and we are a couple forever. But literally in a week the person was gone, doesn't answer calls, writes monosyllables. Through some time again he here as here, and"we — couple forever."
Control and control again
If you met such a character — you will know it pretty quickly. Such a person from the first meeting trying to take over the way things happen. How do you spend your time without it, for example. Where you went, where you were, with whom, why without him, at what time you came.
If something went wrong, as expected, for example, the restaurant served the wrong dish-immediately will be debriefing. It is this person who will plan and organize everything (for example, joint trips), and you will only have to accept as a fact where you are going and when. Or not going.
Again, someone this option is quite suitable and satisfied. But if you just do not fit, you are unlikely to rehabilitate a man for 3 dates.
Problems with alcohol and other substances
There's nothing to discuss, I think. If these problems come up in the first meetings-you will always be in second place compared to them, and there is a risk to get into a not very healthy relationship in principle.