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The article is subjective and expresses the personal opinion of the author.
1. "Why am I a curly brunette, although all the relatives on both lines are pure albinos?"
Mom somehow remembers her great-grandfather, to the village to whom she went on vacation a couple of times in childhood. And I’m always glad to tell an amazing family story: “And his father married a gypsy who cheated on him with the Crimean Tatar! Since then, every tenth child in a family is just like you: curly and in a red shirt ... Yes, that’s how she guessed! ”
2. "Is it true that in Soviet times, students were sent for potatoes?"
Mom knows the history of the country, because it was her parents who survived the war and remember the death of Stalin. And she had to stand in a store for some kind of blue chicken bird when she was in short supply, when you were just trying to get used to cotton-gauze diapers. It is strange that my mother’s story about how she drove a mad tractor on a collective farm field breathes such fun and nostalgia.
3. "Mom, how did you make me a snowflake costume in kindergarten?"
Memories keep amazingly beautiful dress with a brilliant crown, which helped you become the star of the evening in an institution called "fontanel". Now the secret is finally open: the miracle outfit was made of pharmacy gauze and beaten New Year's toys, which my mother crushed with a hammer at night and tightly glued to a cardboard diadem.
4. “Who is it in our photo album in a cock-hat?”
Mom carefully stores albums with black and white photographs, from which you can find out a biography of aunt's cousin Vali. “Her husband, Uncle Seva, was poisoned by the chanterelles at the May Day demonstration, well, the one who is the general’s nephew. “His maternal stepbrother’s dog bit you when you hid in raspberries because you wet your pants.” And in general, these complicated stories shed some light on what these people are doing in the family photo album. Oh god Thank you for instagram only now, and not in 1975!
5. “Mom, tell me how you gave birth to me!”
It is always nice to hear once again that the night of your birth was decorated with cherry blossoms, northern lights and sudden leaf fall. Due to such a cataclysm, the ambulance was unable to leave for mom in time, and she walked in the cold, though occasionally dad dragged her on a sleigh. When the baby was born, all the doctors clapped their hands. You turned out to be the most lop-eared child in the history of the hospital.
6. "What did I get sick in childhood?"
Sometimes the time comes to find out if you had a mumps, whether you were vaccinated with the Coxsackie virus and why the card says “allergy to asparagus”, although you usually faint from watercress. Only your mother may be interested in such things, only she fondly remembers that the local pediatrician confused the diagnoses if you, with a swollen face from a pig, suddenly frightened him from under the covers.
7. "Why did you knit this for me?"
Mom happily presents you with a crocheted sweater, and not Punk’s not dead is written on the chest, but “Cute little son”, kittens with bows run along the rim, and Khokhloma painting on the back. What a blessing, mother, that you fall into all the best trends, even 20 years ahead of them.
8. “Why was I called Trinidad? Although everyone else in the class is called Olya ”
The name with which you live your whole life was invented by your mother while watching a program about the Caribbean Islands. And this wonderful fact added a unique flavor to your life. Well, or at least taught me witty to answer school bullies who rhyme your name with someone's ass.
9. “Ma! Where are my jeans? ”
You rush about the apartment, being late and panicking. All clothes somewhere disappeared without a trace. “Maa! Have you not seen? And the sweatshirt was yellow like that ... " The answer makes you sufferly bury your forehead against the wall. “Son, I’ve washed everything for you ... Do you want to put on your daddy’s trousers?”
10. "What if I hiccup, my head hurts and growls in my stomach?"
A call to mom saves in difficult situations: the exam is about to begin, and you hiccup and can’t stop at all. Only mom knows that rubbing your ears brings you guaranteed. And yet this: hold your breath and exhale utter a tongue twister “we lazily landed burbot stranded”. Your way to start a performance makes a strong impression on the admissions office.
11. “And where is our housing and communal services department?”
Probably, to know life means to discover that in the world there are a bunch of some things that you might not have known about before. Meeting of homeowners, pipeline repair, collection for a country barrier and congratulatory mailing on behalf of your family to distant relatives on Airborne Forces Day.
12. “How did I learn to swim and ride a bike?”
Mom remembers very well how she ran after your first two-wheeled great, holding him by the trunk and reassuring you. At the same time, you felt like a passenger in an uncontrollable car. And only thanks to the patience and running speed of mom, today you can proudly add the item “cycling” to your resume.
13. "Mom, can I spend the night with you?"
It doesn’t matter what happened if you lost the keys to the rented apartment or hastily left the bride’s apartment when you discovered serious political disagreements, or maybe you suddenly decided to divorce your husband because he turned out to be a “bastard bastard”. In all cases, you have a direct path to your mother. Hot cabbage rolls, flannel pajamas and a mother who will not stand on the side of the “scum” will be waiting there, because she is always for you.
14. "Will you come to our wedding?"
Mom is the first person we call for a wedding. Although sometimes we put impracticable conditions: “First, chur, do not cry! Secondly, the loaf is strictly prohibited! ”
15. “Can you sign here?”
First, mom signs for us in a diary, and then in more serious documents: powers of attorney, loans, paper on accounts in the Cayman Islands. It’s because absolute trust is between us.
16. "How to make the right borsch and cake" like in childhood "?"
The network is full of recipes and video instructions, though for some reason everyone needs marjoram, a croissant and some kind of ratatouille. And all you have to do is make an ordinary soup. Mom will certainly tell you some secret ingredient: “At the last moment - throw a pinch of soda and candy“ Cow ”. Then in the store you are at a loss to choose between “cows” and marjorams. But you feel like a great specialist in borsch.
17. "Do you seriously think that I should have married Koromyslov then?"
Discussion of this issue cannot be trusted with anyone else. Only many years after you married the wrong person (Koromyslov is now sailing on his yacht somewhere near Monaco, and your Kolya is swimming on Thursdays in the pool), you find out that in fact, mother also always liked Kolya more. In any case, he ate her cookies with an appetite and "always was a very interesting young man." How can you not hug mom for support!
18. “What should I do when my baby jumps and looks at the chandelier strangely?”
When we have our own child, we immediately turn to mom for advice. She definitely went through all this, and in the end she did pretty well. Can a person with colic drool? Why does he always say “aha”? Why, if you shake the rattle in front of his face, he begins to squint with his eye? True, you can find some contradictions between common sense and my mother’s recommendations, but listening doesn’t hurt anyway.
19. "I was invited to a party here, sit with Petka, huh?"
You must admit that no other person will rejoice like that when you appear on the threshold of his house at nine in the evening and bustle him asleep Petka. And do not even have to come up with an urgent business trip!
20. “Mom, have something to eat?”
Well, of course! Now you will not get up from the table until this skyscraper of pancakes moves into your young and already 35 years old as a growing organism.
21. “Where would you like to go on vacation?”
The question is pronounced with hope, because so far you have enough money only for budget areas. What a blessing that my mother dreamed all her life about only one thing - to see the "Turkish coast." Or ... Did she somehow guess and be modest? Or did she find a booklet with an advertisement for Antalya?
22. “Well, Mom, can I sleep for another five minutes?”
Only with the help of your mother did you always manage to get to school for the first lesson. How much exposure was needed: carefully bother you, and then cook breakfast. Your children, for example, did not inherit their mother’s tact, and now, to wake you up, they have to sit on your head and play traditional tunes on the harmonica.
23. “Why are you crying?”
When you were little, mom never cried. Now she can be upset because of all nonsense, especially if someone says on TV in the Battle of Psychics that on Thursday (now for sure!) The world will end. Ask her well. It may turn out that psychics have nothing to do with it, she just worries that tomorrow you have to fly on an airplane.
24. “Are you sure that we need all these boards?”
You arrive in your three-door city car to throw mom to the cottage. Next to my mother stands a wall of boards, which are wildly needed to build some kind of lodge for agricultural purposes. In the direction of the region you drive as an official: a convoy of two taxis with boards on the roof and you are hugged with logs.
25. “What is it that you have such a strange cardiogram?”
When strange drugs “from pressure”, “for the stomach”, “for the liver” appear on my mother’s bedside table, and now it’s more often with doctors than in the movies, you interfere. You ask questions about the state of the vessels, climb up to study her X-ray photographs, noting with a businesslike look that her kneecaps are "just like in life" here, and send ECG readings to a specialist mother. Then for some reason you don’t trust her at all.
26. "Do you want me to go with you?"
We do not often offer mom to accompany her to various fashion events. Although she will be very pleased to go to the clinic, the theater, the construction market - anywhere, leaning on the shoulder of a grown child. Especially if he takes off his stupid hat with a llama's face and puts on a more authentic skirt.
27. "How is your seedling doing?"
The next half hour can be commented solely on the words: “Ah! Can not be! Even the celery went wild? ” But it will be definitely nice that you are very interested in his affairs. But after such a mom, it will probably be possible to arrange a short educational program on opposition sites.
28. “Want to try truffles?”
Until mom started the traditional pensioner game in Russia: “Find the biggest discount, collect coupons and buy something unnecessary” - treat it to daring establishments. And try not to grit your teeth when in a restaurant with molecular cuisine she asks to call a manager and criticizes the dishes: “What are you putting here? Here in our Uzbek cafe servings are so much! ”
29. “Saw a funny YouTube video about a dancing ferret?”
Once, my mother told me how the world works, where the stars come from in the sky, and why, when you play in the bathroom in a global flood, disgruntled neighbors come from below. Now it’s our turn to tell mom how everything works here: “See, here is the Yuesby port? And here you can subscribe to the group "who is against the glazing of our entrance." And in no case do not click on the banner: “Scandal! Warts are excreted ... ".
30. And most importantly. “How will we celebrate your holiday today?”
It's all!
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