So, you just finished a very complex project. Experienced severe stress or emotional distress. Or did something they feared despite their fears. Or you will have something serious, unpleasant. Or you're stuck in the middle and can't get any further. They left the house after the illness. Washed the pan from the old dirt. Brushed my teeth for depression, after all.
At this very moment it is very, very necessary to praise and support yourself, no matter how strong, long or significant was the stressor or the case. Many of us — if not all-need support in everyday life. And just brushing your teeth is also a great achievement.
Now, how do we support ourselves? What do we tell ourselves? What words and phrases do we use to praise ourselves, to sympathize with ourselves, to help ourselves through this business?
You know what's weird? When you start googling this topic, in Russian or in English, you find a million pages of motivational quotes from books and great people. Well, nice. But that's not it. I do not imagine that someone begins to recite a paragraph from Leo Tolstoy by heart in his head, for example. That's weird number one.
Weird number two: lots of articles on how to support someone else. Less than motivational quotes from writers, of course. But that's not it either. You need something native, succinct, brief, not strained.
Once somewhere I came across a study, now I do not remember what exactly, was associated with exposure and learning to overcome phobias and fears. You'll have to take my word for it.
The point was that if immediately after the exposure exercise, when one is faced with a terrible situation for him and overcomes it, he said sebekova of support like "You're cool! You did it!", then its results in the long term were more rosy than those who did not support themselves in any way.
Please note that this is a positive reinforcement, not a negative one. That is, if a person said to himself something like "You're an idiot that was afraid of such nonsense before!"That won't do.
In short, it's time to make up for the missing in this world. With the help of subscribers, we have compiled a list of motivational manifests, or words of support for a loved one. Use as often as possible, because it will certainly affect your life. At first it may seem that it sounds somehow clumsy, but it's not because it does not work, but because you are not used to it. Enjoy.
Good words to support yourself
* You've lived through 100% of your worst days in the past. You can.
• (Remembering concrete case) You then was able, and now you can!
• I love you, baby, I'm here for you, it's gonna work.
* Who did well? I'm good!
* I will be proud of myself.
* It happened once-it will happen now!
• You don't have to do it, but if you want to do it, do it!
* Keep up the good work!
* Well done!
• If there is at least one person who has already done it, there is no reason to think that you will not be able to do it if you go to the same goal.
Proud of myself!
* Don't give up!
* Fight on!* Don't despair, no way! Understand?
• There is no sense to blame yourself, not always mistakes are ours
* Just try and see.
* You decide.
* I'm with you 100%.
* Go ahead.
* Waiting for what? Let's hit the road.
And yet, remember the study poses power? If you use the plural ("We'll do it with you," for example, or "We'll do it"), there is a small chance that it will give additional support.
Not very good words
As I wrote above, I can not agree with the phrases where negative reinforcement is used: self-criticism, self-flagellation and negative labeling. Well, if only it is in some extremely ironic context, understandable only to you personally, that this is actually not a negative, but a positive that will make you laugh and support.
I would also like to note, with the filing of one subscriber — many thanks — about the principle of not-negation. If I understand correctly what you wrote. Either way, I got both hands on it. These are not specific words, but a General principle of attitude to your life experience: do not deny what is happening. If it's a shame, it's a shame, and do not say to yourself at this point, " Nothing to be offended!". If tears flow, do not say "there is No cause for tears!". If it is really difficult for you, we do not try to "support ourselves" by understatement or denial of difficulties: "Yes, it's nonsense that you are limp here!"So, not nonsense and, therefore, there is a reason.