A few years ago it was simply impossible to imagine how much we will communicate in electronic form by e-mail, through instant messengers, social networking etc. There is a new way of communicating, and people were all the same. And they can still lie.
When communicating, we get a huge amount of information through body language: gestures, poses, facial expressions, voice intonation. And in social networks, you can not see anything, and you will not look into the eyes of a person.
How to distinguish truth and lies? How to determine what is fiction and what is reality? Let's talk about it.
Desire to believe
Man is so constituted: we are inclined to believe what is written. In some cases even excessively to believe, and even if Iranian clear brad. We will always find serious excuses and explanations why what is written is true. "It was said by an expert, ""it's a self-respecting portal, "" they referred to a scientific study." And yet, just really want to believe when we are talking about relationships, or about something personally important. Well, for example, when they talk about love, about sympathy, about money, about something else good and important for us.
Many have finally learned to distinguish between blatant fraud on the Internet and not to believe the letters promising the legacy of the former African dictator of a million dollars. But what to do when you communicate not with some African autocrat, but with a very real person — a colleague from a neighboring Department, a relative or a friend, an ex-girlfriend in Vkontakte? How to understand that a person is cheating?
Analyze it
The first way to recognize a lie is to look closely at some possible clues in the text. People still prefer to tell the truth most of the time, so when they will invent, it will be noticeable. Pay attention to such moments:
* Words to enhance the effect, to emphasize the meaning and importance: "Believe me!" and so on. Of course, by themselves, taken separately, these words can not exactly mean a lie, but if they are many, if they are used where your interlocutor wants you to believe him, if there are other signs - then think about why the interlocutor needs so much to convince you of something?
* Repeats the same thing in different words. When a person tells you his love over and over again. And once again-your interlocutor again tells you how he loves you. And once again-he can't help but mention his love for you. And again…
• Unanswered question. No, of course he was too busy and not very attentive, could have something to miss, to forget, and there were many questions — three... It's possible, but most likely your partner didn't want to say no, didn't want to hurt you or he has something to hide from you.
• Unusual punctuation marks, words, emoticons, time to answer, very short answer etc. It is possible to perform, if your communication was intense, and you were an attentive reader. Once where the smiley and the dot used to stand, they are no more; or if the usually talkative lover of describing everything in detail has turned into a stingy Telegraph operator — this is an occasion to look at the content.
• Words of preparation: "honestly,...", "I need to tell you something important", "you only understand me correctly", "no need to worry, but..." etc. Then you can immediately wary: now something will go wrong. Possible and lies.
* The absence or infrequent use of the pronoun "I" and the first person in the story about yourself. Liars or those who hide something usually unconsciously distance themselves from what they say. Therefore, this text is not about them.
* Vague answers, small mistakes and mismatches. Do not miss it, if before a person told you that he is an only child, and then suddenly it turns out that he and his brother went to the movies.
* Transition to the present tense of verbs when telling about past events.
Personally has observed such a picture. It was in the center of Moscow. Goes woman on court yard homes and loudly says on the telephone: "Yes I now a hundred kilometers from Moscow...on Leningradke ... stuck, turns, wheel a flat!! I stand almost in the field, I can not believe myself ... no spare tire, waiting for a tow truck... I can not come, you see, what a story with this wheel…»
One item on this list doesn't mean anything, maybe it's a misunderstanding, a mistake, anything. But if the message of your interlocutor falls under several points at once-you can have problems :)